Oh how precious time is! Blessed are those who know how to make good use of it. Who can assure us that we will be alive tomorrow? Let us listen to the voice of our conscience, to the voice of the royal prophet: “Today if you hear God’s voice, harden not your heart.” Let us not put off for one moment to another what we “should” do, because the next moment is not yet ours!
— St. Pio of Pietrelcina
This was today’s daily meditation over at EWTN.com. I have been using their Mass readings option because—you’re going to laugh at me—I have once again misplaced my Magnificat.
Does it help that I know where I left it? (at the church where I gave my talk on Saturday)
Or that I had the presence of mind to phone a friend from that parish and have her pick it up at Mass on Sunday? (which she did)
No? I’m still a great big airhead? Sigh.
Today I am thinking about the gift of time and the many ways in which I waste it. Certainly at the top of this list is misplacing things—which my husband claims is in large part due to my stubborn refusal to put away that which I have taken out.
(He is right, of course. Another sigh.)
On Monday night I had a meltdown—a full-fledged, tear-filled, I’m-a-rotten-homemaker kind of moment. (Thank you for your concern. I’m better now.) Domestic maintenance had gotten the best of me—too many messes, too much stuff, and too much nagging on Mom’s part as a result.
Sound familiar?
Coincidentally, my husband on Tuesday to say that an appraiser was coming by on Wednesday morning. (I say “coincidentally,” but you could just as soon replace that word with “diabolically.”) We are not moving, thankfully, but rather are looking at buying some land in Wisconsin.
“Wisconsin?” you say. “Anathema!” I know. So much for me being such a proud Minnesotan.
Anyway. As such we are in the market for a loan and need…
An appraiser? Coming here to determine the worth of our home based on appearance?! The rest of the day’s lessons were promptly canceled. Our new mission: tidy up.
As I purged a pile of papers that had been smoldering on a shelf, I found a newspaper interview I had clipped (and then promptly forgot) with Peter Walsh, author of It’s All Too Much and Does this Clutter Make my Butt Look Fat? The timeliness of this discovery (combined with the meltdown I’d just had) triggered an epiphany moment. I am not living the life I want. I need to change.
I highlighted three key ideas from the article and used them as a guide in cleaning. They are:
- “The problem with clutter is it robs you of peace of mind.”
- “Ask yourself what is the life you want. Then, start looking at your stuff and see if it fits into your goal. If something doesn’t, get rid of it. It’s about quality of life, not quantity of life.”
- “I call [sentimental items that you just can’t live without] ‘memory clutter.’ A lot of people worry that if they lose the object, they’ll lose the memory. If something is important to you, it needs to be displayed or kept in a way that it’s honored.”
I added the bold text to show you the words that made the biggest impression. I have said this before but I’ll say it again: I do not want the majority of my days to have been spent “picking up.”
Instead, I want to learn to knit.
I want to paint.
I want to play more.
To this end, I tackled the dining room bookshelf. We rarely eat in our “formal” dining room—how very American of us, I know—and therefore it is prone to being wasted space. When I asked myself what I wanted from that room, my self replied: board games and creativity! And so I cleared out the books and put them upstairs in the library. I threw away the papers (and how very good that felt). Finally, I brought down two baskets and plan to fill them with fabric, yarn and other notions.
Hey, it’s a start!
You know, more than anything I want to inspire in my children a lifelong love of learning and a creative spirit. A cluttered home, for us, is stifling. We can’t find what we need to be creative!
And finally, to bring us back to where I began, I fear that a messy home is often symptomatic of a messy soul. No offense, now, if you’re a “messie” like me! I am speaking from experience. Too much clutter, too much stress, too much anxiety, too little prayer.
I am going to go pray now. : )
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Once again, you and I have way too much in common. It’s scary! I too, have had the same issues, and have been praying as to how to go about decluttering our home and our lives. I think half my frustration with home schooling and being a stay at home mom is just the sheer chaos of our lives because I am not organized and the house is messy all.the.time. I have felt this call deeply recently, because I know this is not the life I want either (and neither do my husband and kids..no cranky mommas). I will have to check out that book. I have told the Lord I want to get out of this mess and figure out how to restore some order, but I just don’t know how. Perhaps your find shall benefit another as well! Hang in there! You are doing a great job. I will pray for you. 🙂
Here’s hoping this comment will work. For what it’s worth, I never thought your house was bad! I’ve been going through this too,and it is challenging. One thing I have been using is a free downladable 2008 Declutter Calendar from MySimplerLife.com I print out a month at a time and concentrate on the one item for each day. It really helps me to stay on track!
We are sisters of the heart, that is for sure! You are so right in everything you say. Just remember, that our cluttered souls might be something we have to except as legacy issues of bygone days. We can pray and offer them up to God to change, but ultimately, it is in His hands. I think a peaceful home would be an excellent place to start.
Flylady.net has been an awesome resource for me, because her mantras are so helpful! And when you are just starting to declutter, she says, “babysteps”… and tells you to use your timer to set 15 minute goals of decluttering. 15 minutes at a time… with lots of breaks and cups of tea. 🙂
I still struggle with this beast, but am learning to replace my inner perfectionist voice with a more realistic one. We homeschool moms have a lot on our plates. The house will be messy during certain times of the day.
And that’s okay.
🙂
Just to clarify, ‘Meg: it’s not the superficial messes that I am worried about so much as the underlying disorder. If your systems are in place, the little messes are not a problem.
And I love Flylady, too!
Excellent post, Margaret and a great Lenten reflection regardless of the appearance of our homes.
God Bless,
Jane
An appraiser is coming to our house sometime this week, too. So what am I doing online right now? Reading your blog, of course, for strength. Help!
You wrote:
“I do not want the majority of my days to have been spent ‘picking up.’
Instead, I want to learn to knit.
I want to paint.
I want to play more.”
***********************
Ummm … but then you have to pick up after all *that* stuff. 😉
Just kidding. It really is a great start. Clutter definitely robs me of peace of mind, so there’s an ongoing, precarious balance to stay organized while also allowing the kids to be kids. As you said in another comment, it’s a matter of getting systems into place so that the messes kids make can then be easily cleaned up.
What a great post!! So sorry you were feeling so overwhelmed the other night though! Before we moved this past Summer, when we were getting the house ready to sell, we de-cluttered for 2 weeks!! We had a huge dumpster full!! This was boxes, old, old fans, used toys that would not even sell at a garage sale, junk, papers, magazines. So much stuff. Now this was a total cleaning of the whole house, closets, basement and garage. There were 4 van-loads full of good-will stuff. Since we’ve moved, I have not let that clutter come back. It was a hard lesson. It was amazing how it built up. Now, yes, it is a bigger house and we have space to put everything, but the piles do come back. There’s book piles, childrens paper piles, rosary piles, cookbook piles and “my stuff” piles, I try to clean these every few days or I get that feeling you are talking about.
Everything has a place and if it does not have a place, you probably don’t need it!
I wonder if this post will be the final catalyst of my emptying my cupboard of TEN unused Fiesta mugs! We never use them and the plates will defintely be replaced before we ever use them.
If they weren’t so heavy, if someone wanted them, I’d mail them out today – just so they don’t go to rubbish heap.
But, this post inspires me to THINK before I buy. More stuff isn’t going to give me the peace I seek.
Yes, I think I’ll pray, too.
I wonder if my 2 almost lifesize purple and green blowup aliens count as clutter. They were a .75 cent garage sale find.
Yup, too much stuff.
“Too much clutter, too much stress, too much anxiety, too little prayer.”
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Now to get to work on it.
Wow – do I know how you feel… I’m sitting here looking at my livingroom – which I just had clean yesterday – and there are magnetic sticks and balls and wooden mosaic shapes all over! It looks like some kind of creativity monster spewed all over my livingroom 🙂 – but at least it creativity stuff. 🙂 Of course, it doesn’t help that we just moved in here 3 months ago, and there are still boxes everywhere (mostly in the garage) because our last house had built in bookshelves and other storage areas that this house doesn’t have….
~Jenny
Here’s my secret clutter buster: Wait until you are about to get your period and then send the kiddos outside or to the basement or with dad somewhere and grab a huge lawn garbage bag. Let loose. Put on some fun music. For me, toys are the easiest things to get rid of, followed by useless kitchen utensils and mismatched socks. Purging the medicine cabinet can be very therapeutic as well. Don’t spend more than an hour doing this, but try to do it for a few months in a row. You’d be surprised at what you can accomplish!