“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.” (P.J. O’Rourke)
Here is my method for dealing with teenage driving angst:
1. Find the nearest baby or toddler.
2. Hold them close and never let them go.
Not very helpful, am I?
Sorry. Letting go is not my strong suit.
Unfortunately, my 15-year-old is growing up whether I like it or not, and holding him close is not an option. (I try. He squirms.) This is the way it has to be, though! Give them roots then give them wings.
Still. Do we really have to let them learn to drive? In a car? On an actual road?
(Unfortunately for this momma’s over-caffeinated heart, the answer is yes.)
So your kid has got his/her learner’s permit.
I have three bullet points of advice for you:
- Invoke the Angels.
- Have them drive as much as possible, even [yikes] on the freeway.
- Read this book.
1. Invoke the Angels, every single time. You might think that I’m exaggerating. I’m not. Every time we get into the car, whether it be for a trip to the library, the grocery store, or their grandparents, we invoke the guardian angels.
Every time.
I make the sign of the cross and call out, “Holy guardian angels…”
And the kids respond, “Watch over us!”
We have done this for so many years that it’s become second nature. In fact, if something goes wrong as we’re driving along–if, for example, we hit a patch of ice–the first words out of my mouth are “HolyGuardianAngelsWatchOverUs!”
And they do. I have the stories to prove it. (See #2 .)
2. Have your teen drive as much as possible. This one might be obvious but it’s also hard, especially when it comes to driving on the freeway. Truly, my heart was gripped with fear at the very thought. Then my husband suggested that Joe accompany me on my 4:00 a.m. holy hour and that, my friend, was an inspired idea. It’s a 30-minute drive each way but there is next to no traffic. Bonus points for an extra hour spent in prayer with his mom. : )
(It had been awhile since he had joined me.)
This was all it took for me to get over my fear. He is now driving our big white barge to Mass, which means driving in heavy traffic and learning the ins & outs of merging. My husband sits next to him on these outings and (more or less calmly) talks him through it.
And you know what? The kid is doing great. There was one incident where he took an exit ramp too fast (you can bet I loudly invoked the angels) but he kept his hands on the wheel and didn’t over-correct.
Whew.
3. Read the book Crash-Proof Your Kids.
(I think I’ll stick that one in my bucket list.)
In his opinion, the way that we learned to drive doesn’t cut it anymore. Our teens “face far more dangers on the road than we did: snarled rush-hour traffic, road rage, multiple distractions, and increased mind-altering substances.” Learning to drive, he believes and I agree, is “the single most dangerous thing your teenager will do while under your care,” and the strategies in his book are meant to make our teens better, safer drivers.
Holy guardian angels, watch over us. Holy guardian angels, watch over them.
I think I may have to check out that book. We need to get my daughter more driving practice, but it's been crazy here. Thanks for this post!
And a stick-on holy water font for the dashboard doesn't hurt. Do they make those?
In the meantime put holy water in a spray bottle and squirt them head to toe before they leave. We also invoke the "Jesus bubble." It's a faith/visual image thing.
Love ya.
We just got some holy water in a spray bottle. The kids though I had gone mad, or mad at them, when I sprayed each of them down. Head to toe in holy water!
Not that have kids driving… or will any time soon BUT we always keep an icon in the front of the car. Not to stare at or anything, but you know having St Michael in your cupholder never hurt anyone : )
We haven't done much highway driving, I'm afraid, though I know we should. Brenna is a pretty good driver, though. I still nitpick, but I told her that's only because when she drives away without me, I want to be darned sure she's coming back. She understands. 🙂 Thanks for the book recommendation!
Oh, I have 2 years left before worrying this…why worry ahead of time?
We invoke our angels every time we leave the driveway…we should be doing it at those stoplights, huh?
Great post, I'll have to remember that book 2 years from now…
When my teens started driving and would park in lots where there would be people walking behind the car…church, homeschool co -op, grocery etc….I would insist that they park so as to exit the parking space by pulling forward and not backing out. My biggest fear (even bigger than the highway) was that they would back over something or even worse someone. Prayers for you and your teen.
Oh Margaret! This post couldn't come at a better time! My oldest JUST got his learners today!!!(He's 15 as well) We live in the country so we've been letting him drive the back roads for practise. Now I just have to remember to breathe and I tell ya every time he practises driving into and around the city I'll be storming heaven with every.possible.prayer. that there is!
We are a good club of moms of the teen driver! My 15 is driving and up until today was driving me crazy with worry.
It just so happened that her first time on the FWY was with me beside her and a few kiddies in the back. Now, this is crazy Los Angeles freeways we are talking about! After invoking Our Blessed Mother and guardian angels I had to let go and let her. She did great!
Prayers for the safety of all our teens!
Lol! As much as your musings are hilarious, your worries are valid – there's a reason why teen's insurance is more expensive. I'll try to check-out that book, but as far your teen-driving concerns, with him keeping calm and his hands on the wheel, it appears he is, indeed, doing good despite your worries. Mia Patch@RookieDriver.co.uk
Teaching them to drive would help them become more responsible in life.