Here are ten facts about our family van.
Because you asked.
1. We won our van in a church raffle. It cost us a whopping $100.00.
2. It is the largest vehicle I have ever driven. (Surprise surprise.) Once upon a time, we bought our first minivan—a Honda Odyssey, which I loved. I was pregnant with our third child at the time and I remember thinking, “How in the world do I drive this big thing?” How little—how very little—did I know back then.
3. We bought this big van because we planned to fill it up with children. A commendable goal, but we hit a snag after Child #5, otherwise known as Four Miscarriages in a Row. (Not to be a downer or anything.)
4. Parking lots can be a challenge, but I’ve gotten pretty good at navigating them. One doesn’t park a van this size anyway—one docks it.
5. It’s good to be very cautious when driving a 15-person vehicle, and that’s all I have to say about that.
6. No, I changed my mind. That is not all I have to say about that. Lean in close and I will tell you a secret: Driving this van makes me very nervous. We pray to the Holy Guardian Angels every single time we get in it. It’s just too huge a vehicle to make mistakes.
(We got it in the parking ramp.)
7. That said, this van drives very well on the icy Minnesota roads, provided that you’re very cautious. (See Numbers 5 and 6.) The only problem is that given its rather boring color, we tend to plum disappear in a blizzard. Remind me next summer to paint it plum.
8. Yes, it costs a lot to fill the gas tank—about $75.00 a pop! (not including pop) It would be far more cost-efficient to drive a hybrid, but you don’t fit eight people into a hybrid, unless you want to pipe circus music over the loud speakers every time you disembark.
9. That said, this van is very roomy. Almost everyone has the space they need, except when we’re in a “bickering” mood. And then this van is much too small.
10. Finally, you have to be careful when you drive a van this size because you’re sending a message to the world, whether you like it or not, whether you’re thinking about it or not. People see our ginormous van—and they see our ProLife bumper sticker—and they think they’ve pretty much got us pegged.
Little do they know that we’ve got layers.
All for the greater glory of God,