…when you find the following posted in the bathroom:
Minnesota Mom, Incorporated
STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURES MANUAL
FILE 2.1.A.ii(c): Use of Common Personal Care Containers
1. Purpose: To enable employees to properly make use of common personal care containers, such as toothpaste, shampoo, mouthwash, and the like.
2. Problem: Current Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) in Minnesota Mom, Inc. for the use of personal care containers generates excessive waste.
3. Solution: Upon signature by the CEO, Minnesota Mom Inc. adopts the following SOP to reduce excessive waste.
Procedure (to be enacted heretoforth):
1. Grasp container in first hand.
2. Grasp container cap in second hand.
3. Using second hand twist or pry cap loose. Use the specific method (twisting or prying) applicable to the type of cap, as recommended in the directions on the container. Note, it may be necessary to remove first hand from container to fully read directions on container. Do so if necessary as part of step 3. Remember to restore first hand after reading directions
4. Apply amount of liquid, gel, or other from container to appropriate location, e.g., toothbrush.
5. Restore cap with second hand onto container.
6. Proceed to use the liquid, gel, or other for the appropriate purpose.
Issues: Several employees prefer to reverse steps 5 and 6. Please note, this practice is expressly forbidden, and may result in disciplinary action, including a warning placed in the employee’s file, reduction in chocolate privileges, computer privilege elimination, and spankings. We have noted that several employees, while claiming to only reverse steps 5 and 6, in fact simply eliminate step 5. Failure to properly perform your job in this fashion indicates that the employee is incapable of properly using personal care containers, and may result in a reassignment of job duties as part of a Personal Improvement Plan to be designed by management.
Okay, okay! So I’ll try to better about putting the cap back on the toothpaste!
I think I’ll type up a similar memo regarding those little rolled-up balls of socks that I am continually finding on the floor. “Balls of love,” I call them, which helps me keep a smile on my face as I am putting them into the hamper that is less than a foot away.
PS. Having recently violated this statute yet again, I have been informed by my husband that my PIP is forth-coming. What?!! So much for my making his lunch each day!
LOL! I know the feeling, my dad is a judge, so when I was growing up, if you wanted to stay up an extra hour before going to bed, you had to present your case, and you’d better build a good case!
Margaret, you are hilarious! For the life of me, I can’t figure out why on earth my husband persists in putting his dirty laundy on TOP the lid of the hamper, rather than taking the 0.8 seconds I’m sure it would take to flip it open and deposit them on the INSIDE! 🙂
Now can your husband write a procedure that will get the employees at our firm to put the floss away in the cabinet right in front of them, rather than leave on the sink where it can easily be knocked into the toilet?
At least he hasn’t yet gone forward with the disciplinary action!Loss of chocolate privelidges is just cruel and unusual.I’d opt for the spankings!LOL!
I think we need some procedures written up at our firm! I can’t complain, my husband has a nice pile of his things that need to go in the laundry right next to his side of the bed!
Oh, this is too funny!!
Very funny! 🙂
ROFL! That is SO funny!
Oh gosh, this is making me laugh!!! Joe has not yet resorted to patent-style procedure postings. However, our bathroom floor is littered with copies of Chemical and Engineering News, to stay in step with all those inventors. Makes for some interesting bathroom reading. (Right.)
This is hilarious – I can relate too – my husband is a lawyer 😉 I better not let him see this post or he might get some ideas….
May I recommend the flip top style of toothpaste. Then you have eliminated half the work. Ha ha. Or even better the standing Aquafresh where you just push the pump and there is no top. I have resorted to that for some of the children around here. Love you.
Very funny. I like your balls of love idea.
Absolutely hilarious! My husband has the same problem with laundry – maybe it’s some kind of laundry-blindness – a disability or something. 🙂 His other one is an inability to clean the kitchen after he cooks – however, I’m not complaining – I hate to cook – so if a destroyed kitchen is the price I pay for a break every once in awhile, I deal with it. (But I still think a real break would require him to clean up – why is it that when he cooks he makes double the mess?) 🙂
Oh Margaret that is too funny!!!! Your sweetie must have a fun sense of humor.
Funny! My dh suffers from the same laundry disability!
That is so funny. Both of you make me laugh. I can only imagine how much fun you both are in person!
LOL!
I have the same sock thing here. I’ve found that my attitude is greatly improved if I whisper, “I love you” as I pick them up each day.
You guys are hilarious! My dh always threatens to put up Gilbreth style Process Charts.