…to be annoyed.
And it’s taken me…what? Only 40 years to figure this out?
What follows is the post of a person prone to….
a person prone to….
a person prone to….yes. I admit it. A person prone to annoyance.
Do you know, when I looked up “annoyance” at Thesaurus.com, I found 37 synonyms. 37! They include such gems as acrimony, cat fit, conniption, dander, distemper, fury, gall, huff, miff, peevishness, petulance, rankling, temper, tiff and vexation.
How very unflattering.
Following this list of 37 was a lonely little group of antonyms: affection, calm, forbearance, glee and goodwill.
I’m getting the impression that peevishness is a problem; a state of calm, the sad exception to almost everybody’s rule.
And I’m thinking, if “I” can overcome my personal tendency towards petulance, I can skim decades off my stay in purgatory!
(The “I” is in quotations, by the way, because I don’t do anything on my own. I have tens of celestial cohorts who put up with me on a daily basis.)
It should be easy. All I have to do is fish the massive beam out of my own eye and leave the speck in my neighbor’s alone.
My husband will be thrilled with this decision, as it is rare that his wife leaves his little specks unscathed.
For example.
On Sunday evening we returned from a trip out of town. I was tired and slightly cranky, no doubt a result of the heap of gas station candy I’d consumed during the 4-hour drive. (Bit o’Honeys, by the way, are far more sickeningly sweet than I remember. And those new Kit Kats with caramel? Bleh. Don’t even go there.)
Anyway. You know the feeling. You’re coming home to a cold house and bringing a pile of laundry with you. The kids are clamoring for the computer and all the momma wants is her blog fix.
It took affection to not be selfish.
It took forbearance.
It took….far more glee than I could muster at that time.
The last little straw in my steadily growing pile of emotional annoyances was the slipper. My slipper. Left on the floor in my mom & dad’s guest room by my beloved, who’d done the packing and who’d forgotten—how could he?—to check under the bed.
Grrrr.
The house was cold and so were my feet.
I made my way muttering upstairs.
And there, in our bedroom, to my sad, head-hanging shame, I saw it. Not my slipper but the stack of clothing he’d asked me to pack for the weekend: a clean t-shirt, socks & boxers, and a pair of shorts for being comfy around the house.
In short, the stuff one really needs when traveling; the stuff of his that I’d forgotten.
And when he found out at my mom & dad’s that I’d failed to pack them,
he just shrugged and said, “Oh well.”
Ah, the graces one finds in her marriage! I am so thankful for my husband’s patience, and am so eager to begin again by working on my own.
Love is patient. Love is kind.
Love is never peevish.
Kristen Laurence says
I love this post, Margaret. It is all too familiar. And thank God for patient husbands!
Diane says
Oh my dearest of kindred spirits…this would NEVER happen to me! 😉
Love you!
Jane Ramsey says
Margaret,
I don’t like the fact that you have hidden cameras in my house, but thank you for sympathizing! 😉
Jennifer says
I am this same way! And I think “Oh well” is one of the most valuable virtues. I am always preaching that one to my daughter.
Michelle says
Your husband is truly wonderful.
Beth Pack says
Sounds like a good reason to go buy new slippers 😉
Also sounds like your husband is great!
minnesotamom says
Well, I was not supposed to blog about this particular detail…but there was a lovely new pair of slippers waiting on the kitchen table when I came downstairs this morning!
He is a honey. He has to be, to put up with me! 😉
Paula in MN says
Are you SURE you didn’t stop at my house on your way home this weekend?? and I concur with the Kit Kats….
Tina from Tennessee says
Aren’t we blessed to have such wonderful husbands. Good that we know we are all a work in progress!
nutmeg says
The new pair of slippers is the icing on the cake… the cherry on top of how great a husband he is!
I have my own “cherry on top” who nicely deflects my grumpiness and ends up making me smile… (while inwardly hanging my head in shame)
Thanks for the smile of understanding that is on my face right now, and the gentle reminder that life really IS too short to be annoyed…
Cheryl says
I love this post. I am also struggling with being patient and living with a very patient man. (I’m talking about my husband.)
Mary Ellen Barrett says
I am a card carrying grump. I too am married to a saint. I often wonder why God seeks to torture this poor man with my moods. He is always forgetting my faults and treating me like a queen.
I am going to say a prayer tonight for both our patient, wonderful husbands.
KC says
Ditto all the comments above. I said to my husband after Sunday mass–I must not love you. He looked shocked, but then he realized why I said that. I too am a card carrying grump.
Momto5Minnies says
SWEET … love that your hubby bought you some new slippers.
I to am married to a man who takes things with stride. Little things just get to me … drives me nuts.
I will say that although my husband is wonderful and “such a saint” at times, he can be a total pain in the you know what. After all these years, the clothes worn for the day NEVER make it to the laundry or closet. Another thing to drive me nuts 😉 … LOL!
theresa says
Margaret, you have a beautiful gift for sharing. You are a beautiful treasure in an earthen vessel.
Cay says
What a rich, thoughtful post, Margaret. I love it!
Shel says
I am struggling with this one myself. My Bible study is going through “For Women Only” and it is an eye opening experience to reflect on the positive attibutes of my husband. I am enjoying the awakening.