I feel safe closing the poll now, given that the last comment was three hours ago. What, do you people cease being lonely at dusk?
I know what it is—you’ve got your husbands home for the weekend and you’re just not that lonely!
I’ll rerun the survey come Monday.
Ha.
Well, a great big thank you to all the participants. Your prize for having taken part in this survey is a Coffee-Mate Milk Frother™ (the newest model).
Ha again.
The results were interesting. Many of you agreed with me that the computer offers some solace but is far from perfect. A handful of you said, like me, that you eat. (Such an emotional habit, that.) And a couple of brave hearts declared that loneliness is not a problem for them at all—rather, they’d welcome the sensation!
Here’s what I think is the problem for me:.
My faith is shallow. I’m ready for a second conversion.
[This is also known as entrance into the Illuminative Way. So I’m told. So I’ve read.]
St. Augustine knew of the deepest needs of man when he wrote the line, “Our hearts are restless, O Lord, until they rest in Thee.” I have been looking to fill a God-sized hole with man-made remedies and it’s just…not…working.
So for me I need to pray more, which, given my vocation as a wife and mother of young children, means praying while I work & play and being aware of the presence of God in our home.
I’m telling Him: Lord, I long for You.
And I’m asking Him: Help me to know You.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Eek. Please don’t send me to sites called “christianperfection dot something or other.”
Yes, I know: “Be ye perfect.”
But that takes purgatory for most of us, not a website.
Call me back when you find “christiangettingabitbettereveryday dot com” or “christiannotquiteashopelessaslastweek dot com.”
😉
Well Sweetie, if you’d like I could just borrow you the book. The Three Ages of the Interior Life is a classic, and in fact, I was just about to go upstairs and pull it off the shelf.
I’ll loan it to you when I’m through with it…in, like, another twenty years or so.
I do what you do. I missed your earlier post as I was away all day. I do the computer. I’ve never been an eater just to eat. I do need to pray way more than I do. I need a plan. I’ve needed a plan for years. Sigh.
I think I will see if my library has the book you mentioned in your comment or find it on Amazon. I too suffer a lot of loneliness. My husband is gone all weekend, too. Working 12 hour days. Sometimes I just ride it out and let it pass. Sometimes I let the tears fall. I try not to do the eating thing anymore, because it just makes me feel even worse. I know there is a lesson in everything that we endure. It IS hard to pray with a house full of kids. It seems every thought is interrupted. Short exclamatory prayers must be the key in our situation. 🙂
I just read, for the fourth or fifth time this year, _The Practice of the Presence of God_ by Brother Lawrence. I don’t know if you’ve read or heard of it? He talks about bringing ourselves into His presence at every moment of our day, even during menial or concentration-heavy tasks, and the indescribable joy of God’s presence (even through difficult or painful times). It brought such joy and peace to my lonely heart that I’m going to read it again today, and passages from it every morning as a reminder. If you ever get the chance and have the time…
Oh, and it’s a wonderfully quick read. 🙂
I need to pray more when I am lonely…great posts!
Sometimes I think I just need a plan, and then a plan to help carry out the plan! 🙂 Wouldn’t it be nice if there were still real spiritual directors out there somewhere — ones who would take our desire to grow in holiness seriously? I could use someone like St. Frances de Sales in my life — though reading his Intoduction to the Devout Life is really helpful – it seems to be written for those of us who are mothers and wives trying to follow Christ day by day… I found an old copy of it in the back of our parishes “library” and saved it from being thrown out. Reading a little bit of it, and then The Imitation of Christ every day (which is written more for those in the religious life but is still applicable) – encourages me to “Stay on Target.” (That’s the Star Wars quote my little boys use to express the goal of striving toward holiness…”Stay on target – stay on target!” 🙂
~Jenny
You know, we were reading about St. John of the Cross today at our meeting, and it was when he was imprisoned. Talk about loneliness. I’ll have to send you the whole article, because I think you would enjoy it, especially regarding lonliness. It talks about that yearning, that craving, and uses the analogy of the three phases of physical hunger. I’m too pooped write now to go into detail, but I think your prayer of a second conversion is right on, and something we all could use (be it even a third or fourth conversion). Love you!
Word verification is: modogie
How’s that for hilarious? LOL!
And how is yo dogie anyway, Jen? 🙂
Thank you for this excellent suggestions, everyone. The book by Brother Lawrence, especially, was in the back of my head…I either have it somewhere or was lent it once, but I’m thinking it will be a good one to re-read.
And Jenny, yes. The Imitation of Christ definitely. That, too, is upstairs on the shelf.
I used to have a good spiritual advisor but our priests are just so busy these days. I’ve been relying on the Holy Spirit to put the right books–via the right comments!–into my hands.
It’s funny you say that (about the second conversion) because today during Mass I was sort of thinking the same thing. During my last confession, the priest picked out key words that I said and told me that he sensed I felt unworthy of God’s love. I have thought about that for a while and today, it came to me. It’s not that I doubt God’s love, it’s that I feel I do a poor job of loving Him back. That is what I need to work on, and obviously somewhere inside I must have known that. Anyway, I didn’t do the loneliness poll because I have been busy all weekend but I’ll go back and read. There’s a funny thing about that too, for me. I do get lonely for spiritual friendship (someone to talk about religious things with) and lonely in general when I’m alone, but then when I’m around people all I want to do is be by myself. I think that I should have brought a book with me. I haven’t figured that out, but maybe the next time I see Father, he will be able to give me a little nudge.
Well, I try to think if there is anyone I’ve been meaning to email or call. I try to think if there is some group or church activity in which I can participate. I browse the web.
I’ve been feeling lonely lately, but more than that I’ve been tired. Too tired. Too tired to spend the time or effort pondering how to improve my life. So my primary focus right now is how to gain energy – with a 2 year old, 1 year old and pregnant – and motivation to even spend energy and time on even thinking on how to improve things.
I’ll whisper a prayer for you. Hope you are feeling better. God Bless
I’ve been feeling the need for a “second conversion” lately. I’ve been slacking off lately. I have been reading a book about Tom Madigan and his friendship with Mr.Rogers. That is a very spiritual book! It really has brought me to a place where I am ready to put more effort into my relationship with Jesus. Yesterday was the second Sunday I did without receiving Jesus in the form of bread. (due to allergy) After I received the cup, a peace came over me and I realized I am going to be OK with this! I this is the beginning of my conversion!
I “think” this is the beginning of my conversion is what I meant to say LOL. Cabin fever strikes again! Or is it Mentalpause?
I seem to remember a friend at the MN homeschool conference listening to Sally Robb do a talk called the Second Conversion and really enjoying it. I didn’t get to listen to that one. Anyone here get to hear it? Would it be helpful?
Angela