It will surprise you not a whit, I should think, to hear that my primary Lenten penance involves coffee. As in, (I told myself at the start of Lent), I just wouldn’t have any.
Coffee, that is.
As in, I would instead start my day with tea.
Given that the drinking of tea is firmly associated in my mind with a 4:00 p.m. teatime and not a 5:00 a.m. get-out-of-bed time, I quickly saw the need to switch to Plan B.
Which is: as long as the coffee tastes like cr*p, it’s still a penance.
I have switched to Folger’s half-caff instead of this brand and am using milk instead of cream. Trust me, it tastes like cr*p.
(The half-caff idea, by the way, is both a penance and a better health thing. Am I healthier? I don’t know. When I wake up I will tell you.)
Now I’m thinking that this recent time change has been especially hard on many of us. In fact, I know it has. My big mistake today was to attempt to run a couple of errands.
In the morning.
It didn’t take me long to see the error in my judgment. Given that I was a sleep- and caffeine-deprived driver behind the wheel of 15-passenger van, I figured I’d better augment the situation and fast.
As in: Caribou drive-through, here we come.
I placed my order and was true to my Lenten penance (don’t even worry): A small decaf with an inch of regular, please. 2% milk, not cream.
(And I also got a bag of Caribou decaf for my Easter basket. Sh! Don’t tell myself!)
As I waited for the frustratingly perky and—dare I assume it?—awake employee to fill my order, I saw the notice on the window: In honor of Daylight Savings Time, we would be happy to include one free shot of espresso in your coffee drink. Offer good Sunday and Monday.
And I can’t have any.
As I drove away, I looked like this.
Ad majorem Dei gloriam (even when it’s hard),