A little over a month ago, I decided to take a break from blogging.
I am back now, none the wiser but every bit as cheeky.
(Ah heck, you’re saying. And for this I’m checking in?)
Okay, I lied. I’m totally wiser.
Hee.
To tell you the truth, (because that’s what I’m here to do), I do feel slightly different. I’m older since I went away, for one thing. I’ve got more gray hair (and that’s dismaying). Best of all, I’m better rested.
Camping trip to Gooseberry Falls, Minnesota (circa Sept. ’07)The key to having a state park virtually all to yourself
is to plan your trip for the middle of the work week. We felt very clever.
You’d think that being well rested would result in my drinking less coffee, by the way, but it hasn’t. I am still a nervous little dog.
Have I grown spiritually since last we chatted, though? Why, yes! Yes, I think I have!
And by admitting that, there it went.
Ah heck.
Ah heck, I say. So much for staying away from the blog for a whole month. I am now right back where I started in terms of a lack of humility and too much self-importance.
No, not really. I’m teasing.
I did feel the need to go away for a while, though, to prove to myself that I could go away. I was feeling a wee bit full of myself and was in need of a good emptying.
I can get that way sometimes—a little too big for my britches (except that I wear skirts) and a little too ambitious for my own good.
Trading the “bunny” for a puppy (circa Sept. ’07)Our brand new adopted sister, daughter & friend-for-life, Elody Oui.
(The story of her name is for another day.)
She gave me lots of presents on my birthday.
Years ago, when I was making a different kind of retreat, the funny French priest who was leading it suggested that we all have a beloved “stuffed bunny” in our lives (and here he held up a toy rabbit) that represents our biggest sacrifice. “To what,” asked this wise retreat master, “do you think you’re most attached? What is something that you really love that you could give up as a present for God?”
As giving away my children was not an option, my next thought was why not the blog? (Temporarily, of course.)
Because it was clear to me, once I’d decided to follow the preparation for Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary, that my blog had become my little bunny.
The Big 4-1 (circa Oct. ‘07)The nice thing about having a cake with so many candles
is that they singe off all your chin hairs.
So that is why I went away.
What did I do to fill up my days?
Well, I taught my children. (I’m a homeschooling mom. That’s a good thing.)
I complained talked to my husband.
I prayed.
I ran away from my problems for fun on the treadmill to the tune of this new (to me) awesome tune.
I checked my blog for comments. There weren’t any.
I kept up with a handful of my favorite blogs—just a handful! But you already knew that, didn’t you? What can I say? It’s good to stay connected and to be a friend.
And finally, I asked questions. (Some may call this period “entertaining doubts”.) I had thought perhaps my huge “sacrifice” would result in an eventual sense of enlightenment and—dare I hope—a handful of spiritual consolations or two.
But no. Spiritually things have been pretty crispy, pretty dry. Am I good enough to make this consecration? Will Mary want my efforts? What about those days that I didn’t get all the prayers in? Does that render my preparation null and void? (Like Mary’s some bureaucrat in Heaven, with her clip board in hand and a checklist at the ready.) I didn’t think so, but in times of trial I wondered.
My husband (ever the hairy guru at the tippy-top of the mountain) suggested that to go into the desert is to thirst. God lets us thirst because He wants us to continue the journey. He’s testing our mettle, testing our love.
Do I love Him more than anything? Do I love Him as I ought? Well, now, that’s a tall order but I’m trying. To stand at the crèche, the cross, and the empty tomb with Mary is a good way (I’m finding) for me to stay the course.
And I know you, faithful reader. You will remind me when I’m off the path.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
I pray that the good Lord somehow grants you the detachment you desire without further depriving your readers of the wit and wisdom that brightens our days.
Welcome back, Margaret!
Well that was a lovely comment made by Tracy. Sounds like the break was VERY GOOD for you.
WELCOME BACK !
and
I love the song you noted … great lyrics! I had hoped that I was not the only Catholic homeschooling mommy who runs to some edgy tunes like Matchbox 20 😉
Seems like we’re both feeling a bit the same, dear Margaret, and just looking at it differently. Here’s to good friends and kindred spirits! Praise the Lord!
Such a pleasure to see you “in bold” at bloglines again… welcome back, dear friend!
🙂
Back with a bang. As expected.
Funny (chin hairs!), thoughtful, honest, inspiring, and sweet. As always.
Prayed for you today. So thankful you’re back.
(Is it totally vain of me to believe that last sentence was written just for me? 😉
Glad to have you back. 🙂
Beautiful, Margaret. I’m so happy you gained from your blogging break, and am grateful for your return.
Many blessings, friend!
Candles do not work well on singing off nose/ear hair (do not try this at home).
Welcome back, Margaret! You’ve been missed!
Welcome back, dear Margaret. I hope you had a restful break. God bless you.
Is that a Cold Stone Cake sitting in front of you? mmmm…yummmmm…
Welcome back!
Glad to have you back Margaret – we missed you!
Beth
Hi Margaret…
I discovered your blog a few months ago and am glad to see you’re back!
I was entrusted to Our Blessed Mother a few years ago….and have been blessed beyond belief by spiritual books published by the In the Arms of Mary Foundation. They are great support for living this spirituality of communion with Christ through His mother. You may want to browse their bookstore (www.InTheArmsofMary.org). Thanks for writing…your words uplift me and help me not to take myself so seriously.
With Our Mother’s gratitude,
Annette
Welcome back!We missed you! Your family is beautiful;you should be proud!I love that tune,too,it rocks!
Margaret,
Very glad to see you back:) Will continue prayers for you during this time and ask Our Lady’s particular intercession.
It was so wonderful to talk with you yesterday, and even more wonderful to have you back. 🙂
I am sure some time off was good for you. Your readers are glad you are back though!!
Camp Coleman
Hurrah! I missed you much. Glad the retreat was good for you, glad you’re back. Glad you are you!!
Margaret, I ‘m so happy you are back to blogging. I love the fact that you’re in MN too…somehow that makes me feel a bit less alone way out here in the cornfields!
Glad you’re back!
Happy Birthday – what a lovely pic!