St. Nicholas stopped by our house yesterday, in many more ways than one.
Yes, he left goodies for the children. (Although, truth be told, Dear Nicholas, you set a difficult precedent on your feast day last year. Remember? You left the boys those really cool hot wheels sets? The ones with several feet of track and the rubber-band-ejected race cars? Yes, I know they were very inexpensive to produce and run only around $4.99 in the shops. It’s just that their absence this year has been, shall we say, felt.)
Yes, we talked about the man behind the legend.
Yes, we ate cookies and drank tea.
Yes, we spent a lot of our free time over at the St. Nicholas Center playing games.
But do you know, good St. Nick also left a little something special for the momma.
A golden message.
A made-expressly-for-me message.
A gift! Would I accept it?
Here is the message that came hurtling my way:
Dear Mommy, you yourself have to keep giving, even when it hurts.PS. And sometimes it can really hurt.
Or when your daughters keep asking asking asking—for another cookie, for a glass of milk, for an ice cube for their tea—you need to be thankful for this chance to serve, and not say something to the crabby effect of “Momma’s tired. Can you just do it yourself?”
Or finally, Mommy, when as a special late-evening surprise you call out, “Okay, everyone! Bundle up and head out to the van! We’re going to drive around and look at lights!” and another son complains, “That sounds boring,” you have to pray pray pray for the grace to put aside your hurt feelings.
Because your instinct is to hurt his feelings right back.
And when you’ve failed miserably at meeting all of the above challenges, dear Mommy, you need to ask forgiveness.
And you need to forgive yourself, as well.
(PS. That’s the hard one, but with grace it can be done.)
Ick. I’m sorry Margaret. I know how that feels.
I enjoyed reading your blog this morning! 🙂
I know how you feel. It’s hard, but you are doing a great job. 🙂
Margaret,
Remember that when you don’t forgive yourself you are sinning against charity and justice. I’m trying this Advent to speak and act as kindly to myself as I do to my children.Let’s pray for each other!
Maggie, I feel your pain. Just this morning my daughter asked for 2 kinds of cereal in 2 seperate bowls with milk. As I placed everything on the table with only 1 spoon, I told her I would be back after I went to get the crying babies. She started crying for another spoon and proceeded to run, PAST the silverware drawer, to hug me and beg for another spoon before going upstairs for the babies. Yes, that took patience and understanding that I am not the only tired one in the house.
Also, my children recieved babies full of assorted coins from their grandparents. I proceeded to tell them their options, 1. Use the money for themselves, 2. Give it to the church, 3. Buy something for someone else who is in need and put it under the tree at church, 4. Buy something for babies in need at Birthright. Guess what my children chose?
BAGGIES, BAGGIES, NOT BABIES!!!
Still tired.
I have always felt that the hardest part of planning fun things for the children is the expectation I have that it will go well and be well received. When it doesn’t work that way, it is difficult. You are not alone.
I struggle with being dissapointed when I plan something and the kids reactions are less than favorable. I will say a prayer for you today, Margaret!
Oh, Margaret, I think we can all identify with this post. Sometimes we think we are the only ones like that though, so your post is so helpful, just knowing there’s someone else struggling like me! We made cookies and decorated them yesterday, but while doing the baking part, my son kept saying “who is going to play legos with me?” “Mom no one will play legos with me!” I’m thinking…duh…we are making cookies, remember, see? This is supposed to be fun! While video taping the decorating part, which was pretty cute, (at least for the girls) he proceeded to grab the camera, put his hands in front of it (several times) and put his cookies really really close to show the camera. So when we played it back to watch…guess who sounded like a crabby mommy, on what is supposed to be a fun thing? That is on there forever now…can I go back and erase it?
Yes. Confession will be good this weekend. God will erase it. It’s funny, I kept thinking Margaret would never lose her patience like this, (or Suzanne, or Jen or any of these other great bloggers) SO thank you for this post and encouraging us!
Thank you for encouraging me by admitting you have this weakness too! (As my youngest sits on my lap trying to shove pretzels in my mouth as I type)
We all need to pray for each other…
As my mother tells me, “this is the furnace that saints are forged in”. Don’t we all have days like you mentioned? Remaining detached and open-hearted to what is instead of what we want is a difficult thing to master for a mother. Detachment from our own agenda, detachment from our own expectations, detachment from our own desires, as St. John of the Cross reminds us.
Blessings from Iowa!
Thanks for your honesty. It can be like that around here, too.
“Yet woman will be saved through bearing children, if she continues in faith and love and holiness, with modesty” (1 Timothy 2:15).
Motherhood is definitely a vocation with plenty of opportunities to die to self, isn’t it? God simply wants to make you a saint. It hurts doesn’t it? I think we’ve all been there.
Lot of love and prayers for you, sweetie.
These ladies have said it all well. Thanks for letting us in to your world. St. Nick’s message is for all of us.
Me, too, Margaret. This has been a particularly bad week for me!
Prayers coming for you.
Oh, Margaret, my dear, I do know how you feel. You are a blessing to those children, as they are to you!
Thank you so much for mentioning this post in the one above because I had missed it. I needed to read this, today of all days! Thank you, again!
Oh, Margaret, we have all been there!!! Word for word, in fact!
You are such a loving and wonderful mother–most people (myself especially), probably wouldn’t even realize it.
Margaret, I just discovered your blog (through Jenn) and I’m already grateful! Thank you for sharing. Been there, done that. We all need to keep on praying for each other, especially this advent season!