So I felt a little guilty about my post yesterday. It did, after all, have a fair share of grit, and is it good to be gritty on Gaudete Sunday?
I didn’t know.
I closed the comments on the post, as is my way (usually) when what I write is rather sad and pathetic. I didn’t want to seem all fishing-for-comments-y, nor did I want to spend my Sunday hoping for comments! (You really can’t win in this situation.)
There were a few heartening emails that came my way, however, including one from my friend Cathie that made me laugh out loud. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, “but when you said that you needed a lamp for your SAD, I thought right away that you meant this one!”
Here’s a visual so you don’t have to click over.
It’s like saying “my bad” when you screw up. When I’m feeling downhearted, I’ll refer to “my sad.” Like: I need to get me a leg lamp and that will help my sad!
Anyway, it’s hard to discern when to be rose-colored or not—and to know when being “real” is what people need. I guess I’ll just keep being me—and accept that being me means second-guessing.
Advent can be a very hard time, especially if your expectations run way way high and/or you’re feeling stressed and/or are feeling lonely and/or you aren’t getting the vitamins you need and/or you’ve recently lost a loved one. Any of these factors put you at risk for sadness; any of these things can lead to depression. (Been there; done that; see this post.)
And so that, my friend, is why I talk about my sad!
How’s your sad been? Has it been manageable?
Gosh, I was your friend way back then? Loved that post, you explained everything so good, and it helps everyone understand. I think the hardest part about being friends or even a spouse to someone with depression is the helplessness of what we can do to help. (nothing) except listen, love and pray.
And be there.
I'm here.
Doing all those things.
OH, and I'm glad you blog about it.
I have suffered with depression my whole life, but over the last 2 yrs, I have worked very hard at helping others and lowering my expectations. This has helped me greatly. I still have tough days, but I find if I take care of myself first, I am way more helpful to my family. I pray all throughout the day to keep my focus and I surround myself with people who are uplifting and ones that don't bring me down. I found the worst people to be around were unfortunately other mothers from church. They were always negative and finding fault with others in the church, working moms or the non catholic moms. It was depressing. I read a lot of uplifting religious books. This has been a huge source of strength and adoration has been a true blessing. My priest (yours also) told me to stop trying to act like a saint and be so self degrading because he reminded me that I probably will never even come close to being a saint so enjoy life and do the best you can do. This was very empowering. I hope this helps Margaret. Don't let depression take away the blessings of the beautiful life we have. Go to Sharing and Caring Hands and you will have a hard time being sad about life. Those people have so much joy and there really isn't any joy in their lives by our standards. God bless.
Depression is in my family genetics! I have been on meds for years, but there were some other contributing factors. Going to Adoration and speaking with the bestest, kindest, most perfect therapist (yep, our Blessed Lord)has been the best thing I can do for myself. My "Therapist" would send books my way that just seemed to help me overcome what was the problem at that time.
LOWER your expectations about yourself and others to reasonable levels.
(((((HUGS))))) from CanadaEH
I'm so glad I am not the only one because I was expecting to see the leg lamp when I clicked over as well!
I hope you can find your joy.
Omg, there must be something in the water. I'm working on a blog post about unexplained (brief, not chronic) depression myself.
sounds like you need to read supermom's obituary…and go heavy on the omegas, SAM-E, st. john's wort, and a good B complex!!!
love to you across the miles dear one….i hit that SAD over the head with my rosary beads every.single.day.
xo.
I have to say that this past Saturday I basically had a melt down. My family as been sick since before Thanksgiving. Everything from viruses, to pink eye, to sinus infections, and tummy problems. I went to confession and talked about how impatient I have been with my husband and children. Trying to keep up with all the extra cleaning, and still trying to prepare for Christmas was getting to be to much, and I was taking it out on the people I love so much.I was in tears. He told me I needed help and said to ask for the intercession of St. Jerome. Wow! What a blessing the sacraments are for life. My new best friend is St. Jerome. Anytime I feel like my fuse is getting short I say a quick prayer, and it is helping to put everything into perspective. I am glad you decided to come back to blogging. I learn so much from your posts about real life. I hope all who suffer from depression will find the love and strength they need to help them. God bless.
Ann
I know and love two people who have battled with depression. They have the roller coaster rides of depression. When all is good they are the happiest, funniest people ever. During their lows; one can get pretty dark. The other has found some relief and now holds on tight to the sacraments and daily Mass to get her through it.
Though I don't have the same levels of depression; yes there are days that grip me. Just today, after a pretty good day of fun; I ended up blowing up at some of the kids. Same battles; not cleaning up, lagging to get to bed, playing and being loud…you know; they were being 'kids'.
But I needed them to be doing something else. And I allowed a silly and small thing turn into a big..gulp..yell. Then I sat and felt guilt. Where did that come from? Is it that Hubby, who is working long and hard hours, won't make it home tonight…yet again? That I'm worried about his safety? Is it that my stomach is in knots because I have a child who just needs more time and more of my attention to learn?
What ever IT is that triggers my loved ones, you or me. Those are the times we call on Jesus! When we take care of ourselves and allow others to show us love.
Jamie is right. Sometimes what is needed is a listen, a prayer and love. You have many friends, on and off line. You have beautiful children. You have a wonderful spouse. You have Jesus, who waits for you with open arms. Ready to embrace and love you.
Praying that your days are rosey and good!
God bless!!
My blues aren't as blue as they used to be. I've been seeing a therapist off and on for over a year. One of the things she suggested was making more friends. That's a tall order for this introvert.
It did prompt me to come out of lurking here though.
Baby steps.
It's why I don't (or can't, rather) give up coffee! I'd just be a pile of uselessness if I did that! Some times a cuppa will just give me that "fight" I need to get moving again – the caffeine makes it impossible to sit still so I start doing (and usually doing for others, because I get a huge rush outta that, too).
Send you love and Aloha, dear girl. Do something silly that makes you laugh. Often my kids start to laugh (from another room) because they can hear me making stupid noises – and I start laughing. So, try it some time.
Thanks for sharing, helps to know that I am not the only one.
Praying for joy to over take us all.
I'm glad you blog about it. For you and us (your readers). I don't think I had read that post yet (or maybe I did and forgot…that happens a lot). So good. I'm glad I read it (or reread it). You nailed it perfectly. I went through a rough spell several weeks back. I wish I would have read it then. God bless you, Margaret. I'm very thankful for you.
Hey, I hope we're still going to get those (holy!) sex posts!! That's a mood brightner for sure!
(are you smiling, Margaret?! bet you never thought you'd hear that from me!)
XOXO
It's on deck, Molly–tomorrow or the next day.
And I love you for your holy candor. 🙂