Update: It’s today’s paper; I heard from a neighbor. Thanks, Cindy!
Does anyone get the Minneapolis Star Tribune? I think I’m quoted in an article today (or it might have been yesterday’s paper) but in any case, you can read it online here: Rising trend: Not bringing up baby.
They spelled my name wrong. : )
Now I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but it’s so sad to think that someone could be happy “being selfish.” And happily admit it! There’s a hearty discussion going on in the combox; if you’ve got a minute, leave an opinion.
Also, if you did see it in today’s paper, let me know please. Otherwise, I will have no excuse to get out and buy one.
Thank you!
You're becoming such a hot commodity lately Margaret!! You're so 'published' now 🙂
Found the article….hmm, what word am I looking for??? Astonishing, saddening, unbelievable?? Not sure. Any way, I must live in a bubble because I was not aware that there were those kind of groups out there THAT against having children. And the comments to the article were equally interesting to say the least.
Thanks for letting linking us to the article!
It was one of those "childfree by choice" groups that attacked my blog a couple years ago!!!
For me, the most chilling thing is that these "childfree by choice" people seem to be extreme haters too. At least the way they were in my comment box and on their site. That's what pride, selfishness and greed brings though, isn't it? There seems to be a lot of them around too, just walking everywhere, it is always in the back of my mind when out in public now, if people who look at me with no smile if they are members of one of these extreme groups.
I liked your Love comment.
Kind of interesting that the 30 year old woman who doesn't want kids, said she is drawn to them though and blames that on hormones……uh, DUH, that's God putting that desire inside each woman.
Oh Margaret,
As I read the linked article (I did not read any comments.. no time!), Luke 23:28-29 was blaring in my mind:
Jesus turned to them and said: "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me. Weep for yourselves and for your children. The days are coming when they will say, 'Happy are the sterile, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed.' "
I honestly cannot understand how these young women can be so giddy about such selfishness.
And it deeply saddens me…
Raising children is certainly hard work, and it does indeed consume all available resources…
…but the alternative is a lonely place to be. The workplace only loves you until it's done using you and then what have you got?
David had a telephone consult with an insurance agent regarding his retirement needs. "What are your plans for long term care in your old age?" he asked.
David responded, "I have seven children. One of them is bound to like me and take me in."
The man laughed. "No, really. What's your plan."
I took the phone. "That really is our plan," I affirmed.
And they're looking forward to it. 🙂
That's quite the article. Shocking really. I had no idea.
It's a mean trick of satan's … the selfishness. The trick is only discovered after it's too late for a woman's body to bear children. But then, our society is trying to take care of that, too. I did read the article and saw you quoted, but don't have time to read through the comments. I'm sure they are quite interesting!
The article is in today's paper. I did a double take when I saw your name! Excellent quote.
I think a lot of people are ignorant. Those ladies are and were probably formed by the culture of today.
They give up so so much when they make that choice.
I often keep priests and nuns in my thoughts and prayers for in their vocation they chose not to marry and have a family. good prayers…not pity prayers.
they will print an article next week about teens wanting kids. always something.
ps…in my little home town paper the front page said,…"Writers debate: Are we raising a generation of nincompoops?"
I love the word nincompoop…great word.
So, it's okay to be selfish as long as you admit you are? Wow. It's very sad.
It is very sad. But, I have to admit that there's also the thought that if you ARE that self-absorbed, if your STUFF and travels and shopping and career are all that define you, if they are your ultimate goal, then perhaps you shouldn't have kids.
I know that's not the way I think or your readers think. But haven't we all seen sad cases in which kids were obviously "the thing to do" or just another life step for a parent?
I'm not validating their position. But, really, unless they had a change of heart or conversion of mind and faith, I'd feel sorry for any child they did have. Baring a major epiphany, the child could become an obstacle or a "cost" that gets in the way of their real ambitions.
I guess what's bouncing around in my head is perhaps they wouldn't have the selfless giving that doesn't count the financial costs or the openness to the love and immeasurable joy of a child. And if not, then what a poor life for a child….
Just a thought…
I can certainly see your point, Elizabeth, and all I can say is…oh, the love they're missing!
Kids are love & fun & miraculous. To love one's spouse so very completely that–imagine this!–nine months later you give it a name.
Oh and Jamie, I did think of you when I saw the reference to those child-free groups.
So, so sad.
How sad! I think the bigger question (and, IMHO, the only one that really matters) is, "What is God's call for me? What is my vocation?" No one is addressing that. The responses in the paper's combox seem to be about whether "I" should have children for my personal fulfillment, or can I find fulfillment elsewhere (w/o children). I believe our call as Christians should be to follow God's will for us, and that always entails self-sacrifice, not personal fulfillment. For some, the sacrifice is in NOT being able to bear children. For others, the sacrifice may be in our time or in the expense of having children or in the toll it takes on us physically and emotionally (which btw, I consider those to be very small sacrifices indeed!) If we find fulfillment in parenting, then thanks be to God for that gift! But I don't think that that should be the ultimate reason we decide to have children…
Wow, Margaret. Congrats on the quote. I wish the reporter would have included a bit more from you, though. I read some of the comments, but I could only handle so many … Happiness through a family is not the happiness that this world promotes. it is so vastly different. But it's wonderful and beautiful. And really can only be experienced if we allow ourselves to be trusted into the hands of God. Personally, I know that in the past 8 years (or so), I have had to learn A LOT about mothering, sacrificing, giving of myself, etc. I've had to die to my own selfish tendencies. And guess what? I'm truly happier because of it. I know that my life is blessed and joy-filled, thanks be to God, much in part to my husband and 6 children! It's not necessarily "easy," but it's so good. I don't think that I'm missing out or that I've become a "frump" either. All those cost stats were mind blowing, too. Sure it's expensive, but it's totally doable. It's all about needs vs. wants and learning/teaching about the difference. For example, this weekend we got out the fall/winter clothes that had been packed away for a year. Most of my children are getting hand-me-downs, things that the older ones wore a year or two (or more) ago (and that I've kept in good shape). They were ecstatic about their "new" clothes! They didn't "need" new things to be happy. You should have seen the smiles on their faces when they got to wear a "new" dress to Mass on Sunday =) Sure we may have to buy a few things to round out their "wardrobes," but that's not going to cost thousands. Anyway, I've rambled long enough. Thanks for informing us that this even exists. It's important to be aware. And to pray … and to be a witness.
I can just hear the child free by choice crowd in about 60 years when they are all 90 years old and their friends and family are all deceased and they are free and ALONE!!!!!!
I wish I had more children!!
signed
Theresa in Alberta