My girls are going through a phase right now where they enjoy putting signs on their bedroom door. “Do not enter!” I am admonished every time I pass by. “No Boys Allowd!”
5-year-old Angela, especially, is most enthusiastic about the process—as in, using at least twenty pieces of tape per poster.
And I’m being generous in that estimate.
Yesterday I had had enough. “You’re using all my tape!” I chided. “No more taping posters to your door!” Satisfied that I had put an end to this Scotch-tape-ridden nonsense, I went downstairs.
An hour later, I made my way back up with an armload of folded laundry. Angela was kneeling at her door with another hand-lettered poster. To her credit, she was not taping it up.
She was gluing it.
You know the expression “Going ballistic”?
That was pretty much me at that moment.
Later that day, I was waiting for my son at his piano lesson and pulled a book off his teacher’s shelf. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, the book was titled, And It’s All Small Stuff.
I smiled and began to thumb through it.
Wouldn’t you know that I landed on the chapter titled, “Assume Innocence?” (Or something like that.) Do you see a theme for my posts today? In the chapter, the author spoke about getting interrupted repeatedly by his little girl when he was trying to write the book. “She wasn’t being malicious,” he said. “She just wanted to be with her daddy!”
I thought about Angela and the look on her face when I was yelling about the poster. She looked confused—genuinely confused—and I realized that she didn’t know that she was being naughty. (At least, I don’t think she did.) I think—or rather, I am going to think—that she thought she was obeying me by using glue instead of tape!
And anyway, it’s no big deal. She was using a washable glue stick.
Such a shift in my thinking has been very helpful to me and to my patience. Rather than thinking of Angela as “naughty” or “disobedient” or “rowdy” or whatever, I’ve been thinking, “Angela is a happy, active girl.”
“You are happy and active!” I tell her often.
I smile.
And she smiles back.
(Mind, we’re still on hiatus from all those posters…and if she needs tape, she comes to ask me!)
Thanks for the reminder. My boys can definitely make me go "unglued" on a regular basis. I've read the "Don't sweat the small stuff" book. It's a great little read!
I began having babies in my early 20's and have continued to have babies into my 40's. People have asked me what I feel is the biggest difference in being a young mother and an older mother (funny… at my oldest's recent college graduation, I was the young mom… at my daughters' dance classes, I am one of the older moms!), and I always reply the same… patience, learning to let the little things slide, learning to pick and choose my battles… but really just enjoying the heck out of my kids! They grow up very, very quickly, and it is bittersweet!
My 4 year old, Michael, is what we call very busy. Sounds much like Angela.
Great post! It's funny though I keep trying to do this myself…one day I told my husband that our son was "just trying to get his attention", meaning he wasn't just being rude or whatever it was etc…well my mistake was saying it where our son could hear me…NOW he thinks it's funny when he does something like bumping us or yelling or whatever and then saying, "I'm just trying to get your attention!" Aye Aye Aye…I created a monster! LOL
Ah yes, the attraction of tape. We go through boatloads of it here. Every time the girls make something, they tape it rather than glue it. I finally bought them their own tape dispenser, because they kept taking mine and never returning it…requiring me to search the house every time I wanted to wrap a present. Now if I could just get them to return the scissors…
I have one that uses all my tape, too. She is my happy and active one =) I also have one that writes on all of my stuff–my magazines, any paper I have on the counter, she recently wrote happy birthday on the laundry room wall. I ask her repeatedly not to do it. She has umteen notebooks to write in, and I do think she's old enough not to do it. I don't know what is going through her head sometimes! Thanks for sharing the change in how you look at your children. I'm going to try that today =)
Advent blessings, Margaret!
St. Nicholas might want to bring Angela her own roll of tape this weekend. I've definitely gone through this type of thing and I found that separating "my tape" from "your tape" keeps everyone just a little more sane.
Margaret Mary, what a cool idea!
Does anyone else have any good ideas for St. Nicholas day? I know these ideas are "out there", but I'm being lazy and asking you to deliver them right to my com-box. 🙂
Happy First Friday, everyone!
boy, I still think it might be a little dangerous for our like-minded 5 year olds to be together!
I do buy extra tape all the time for at least 2 of my girls though, they love it!!! Wasteful? Maybe. But sane.
Thanks for the tape reminder … need to put that on my list because even THIS MOMMY will be needing some tape this Christmas season 😉
At least you don't have one who has figured out the many uses of HOT GLUE :0
Scotch makes low tack tape and removable tape that wouldn't damage walls or doors and would allow your "tapers" to post signs or pictures and you to keep your sanity!
This is so funny! Can you believe I had a similar experience this week?? My six year old and three year old were at the table playing with paper. I thought nothing of it. Even when my six year old asked for scissors. He is good about them, so I knew he would be ok while I was working on something. He ran up to me with paper taped to his arms and told me they were his wings. I smiled and told him to try not to use any more tape (he had been using a lot these last weeks — he is also in the stage of taping things to his door). He ran back to the table and was working on something. I came through into the kitchen and saw the three year old with a glue stick all over her paper wings. It was then that Rogue came running through with paper GLUED ti his arms!!! I stuck him right in the bath after getting a but upset.
I mean, it was just a glue stick… but I kept thinking how the super glue was right there in that drawer next to the glue stick…
Later I realized that it was really more my fault than his. I told him not to use tape… sigh…
The glued picture on the wall thing happened to me too only I was thankful I was on the phone at the time, so I didn't get angry and cleaned up the mess without the friend on the other end knowing anything happened. My daughter thoughtfully NAILED her next pictures to the wall…Mary on my side of the bed and Jesus on my husband's side. Jesus is still there. Mary was ripped down by my 10 month old.
Yesterday it was great food for thought, and today a nice reminder to anticipate the best from our children. I think I could use that book. I've got a couple active, creative residents in my house.
I put these words from a veggie tales song on my blog yesterday. Junior has been singing them over and over in my head as I go throughout my day finding my kids being…ahem…kids.
It seems to fit here.
I somehow overlooked my bed
It seems the dog is underfed
Forgot to change my underclothes
Watched too many T.V. shows
I had some trouble sharing toys
And during rest time, made some noise
The walls are not for coloring
Sometimes I'm off-key when I sing
And so it's really good to know
How much you love me so
It's true, the bible says you do
You really love me
Your love was with me all throughout my day
2 words…clothespins! Fasten a few clips to their door and freedom is theirs again. My girls had a little clothes line between 2 nails in the hallway outside their room for years! I'd also like to add at least it was glue and not scissors causing the problem! Those little kid Fiskars cut anybloominthing!
This post obviously resonates with us moms. Wow, isn't this everyday life with our kids? Just yesterday I scolded a child in public for rushing up to the salad bar at Macy's Skyroom and putting black olives directly on her tray instead of getting a plate first. She didn't know – she just loves black olives!
P.S. 3M might make some sort of removable adhesive for the girls' door. I'll have to look too – my girls are in the same phase!