And this is what I think.
I think that some of you are probably rolling your eyes at the duration of my blogging sabbatical. If that’s the case, don’t read this post! Go away right now and come back in a month.
I think that some of you—no, most of you—are very, very kind to have responded to yesterday’s pitiful mewing. Do you know what? Your prayers and encouragement worked. I think that when a person is as down as I was, a little empathy goes a long way. Are you a depressed extrovert? Blog about it! The attention helps.
I think that my emotional problems are similar to depression but are more cyclical in nature. I’ve been really depressed before, to the point where I needed medication. Do I now? I don’t know. A couple of people suggested that the mood swings and sadness might be related to ovulation and/or perimenopausal issues. Could it be? I am going on 42, after all.
And being nearly 42, I think that I need to exercise more and eat less. Enough said.
I think that I am not that different from most of you in feeling overwhelmed by my vocation. In fact, many of you said that you could have written my “Um…” post word-for-word. For that reason, I’d like to keep talking about some of these challenges we’re facing. I do like to keep it light and funny most days, as you well know, but I also like to keep it real.
As you also know…
…and speaking of which. I think that I need to talk to someone with a bunch of abbreviated letters behind his/her name. My doctor even recommended a woman back in June when I was struggling. Gee, do you think I should have made the appointment sooner?
(I called her this afternoon, by the way. Hooray! I’m so very proud of me!)
More than anything, I think that I should tell you that I’ve been happy today. The problems are still there but I feel happy! So there you go, then. I’d feel dishonest if I didn’t tell you.
Have you heard the expression that a sad saint is one sad saint? It’s true. It is better to be joyful and we should strive as much as possible to be a happy witness of our faith. That said, we also need to hold out a hand when times are hard. Thank you, my friend, for having taken it.
I’d like to close with a conversation that took place not 15 minutes ago. Cate & Felicity were playing with cornstarch & water at the counter while I made supper.
Felicity: “Okay, so I’m the mommy and you’re the kitty. I’m going to be a playful mommy, like ours is.”
At this point I selfishly interrupted. “Oh! Do you mean me?”
“Yes,” Felicity responded. “Because you’re a playful mommy.”
I stood there for several moments, basking, at which point Cate chimed in.
“Yeah, but you can also be cross,” she added.
And with a mischievous grin, she kept on playing.
Ad Jesum per Mariam, ‘cause she knows best what to make of all this nonsense,