Warning: The following contains a birth story. This is okay, though, since only the guys are bugged by the birth stories and I know from Monday’s post that there are no guys that read this blog.
Except for Tom.
And he can handle it.
Ahem.
I love the feast of the Assumption. Not only is it one of the biggies, it is also my oldest son’s birthday.
I love Our Lady. I love my son. It’s a good deal all around.
Because it’s the eve of the feast of the Assumption, I am feeling a bit nostalgic. I’m a mother; it’s what we do. I am thinking about how 11 years ago tomorrow morning, I was in labor. (I’m pretty sure that I’ve blogged this story before, by the way. Bear with me. I’m old and tend to repeat myself.)
When I realized I was in labor, I did what every big pregnant lady does when she’s in labor, i.e., three loads of laundry. This, of course, made the contractions come fast and furious. Mass was in an hour–what to do? What to do?
I decided to phone a friend who had been there five times before.
“Um, I’m in labor. Should I be going to Mass?”
Given I was blurry-eyed with pain at that point, I am glad my friend said no.
When my husband and I arrived at the hospital, I changed into a gown and prepared to suffer (preferably well). I did not intend to use pain medication. However, I had taken a series of birthing classes with John and I thought I knew what to do.
Well that was a big fat HA, I’ll tell you.
When my son was ready to make his big debut, the nurse told me to bear down. “Huh?” I’m thinking. “What’s that mean?” They hadn’t taught me that in any of those classes. Because I was blurry-eyed with pain and therefore incapable of speech, I said nothing and I did nothing.
In other words, I didn’t push.
Intuitively I knew what to do—I mean really, we’ve been doing this since Eve, right?—but being the anal retentive type (literally, in this case) I refused to.
Because I didn’t want to make a mess.
I’m sorry to be so…so…blunt, but there you have it. If you’ve never given birth before but think that you will one day, you need to know this: bearing down means using the same muscles that you use when you go to the bathroom.
And I simply refused to do that.
He is lucky, my Joe, to have made it out okay. (The umbilical cord was wrapped around his shoulder and things were looking a little grim near the end.) He came out on account of the nurse who pushed down hard on my abdomen and the doctor who gave me a great big episiotomy. He came out and it hurt but I forgot all that…
…the moment that I held him.
It’s the eve of the feast of our dear Blessed Mother and I am eleven years a momma. Thank you, Mary, for all you’ve taught me–how to parent, how to love, and above all, how to push. : )
“A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She was with child and wailed aloud in pain as she labored to give birth.”
She gave birth to a son, a male child, destined to rule over all the nations with an iron rod.” (Rev. 11 & 12)
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Thank you for reminding me to get my family to Mass in the morning. Looking for a place to live for the 5th day in a row, I had lost all sense of time. I know Mary (and Ben) will help me find the right place, I’ve been asking for their intercession.
Fantastic story. No child bearing class can really prepare you for that first birth, can it?
Love the new header too.
Beautiful, Margaret. Beauty in all things – even in moments like “bearing down”, right? You make me smile. Have a happy and holy Feast!!
Great story! We always tease my little brother (he’s 22) because my mom did #2 We always say on his head, I’m laughing as I say this because it is just a funny thing to tease a sibling about…not so much my mom though.
Blessings on this great feast/birthday!
Margaret, my first son (oldest child) was born on the same beautiful feast! I remember having the same thought/fear!
Have a wonderful feast of the Assumption!
The nurse assisting at the birth of my first literally told me “push like you have to poop”. I guess she’s been there – done that – and assisted with enough moms who…didn’t want to make a mess.
It was during the birth of my second that I forgot what to do…didn’t want to do it…looked at my doctor and said in desperation, “Pray for me”! He nodded, folded his hands, bowed his head and looked like he was trying not to laugh.
Now see, Stephanie, that nurse’s advice would have totally helped me!
Thanks for sharing your story. I felt out of sorts too at the delivery of Mary. Even after going to umpteen classes about child birth. I wasn’t prepared in the head, but my body seemed to do an okay job. Mary’s birth story is posted on my blog now.
Thanks Margaret!
Happy birthday to your ds Isn’t it lovely to have special days on Holy Days?
Today is my 16th wedding anniversary 😀
I’ll spare you the sob story on why I am reading and commenting on your superb blog instead of our with my family on this lovely day. I *will*treat you with my Holy Day birth story though. I know you can’t wait.
March 25,1999. Feast of the Annunciation. Day before due date of #4. We were attending a Ukrainian Catholic church at the time and the Annunciation is an HDO in the UCC. I was home with the 3dc, feeling very large and very ready and dh went to the DL. I had been induced x3 and wasn’t expecting anything to happen. 6:30PM laying on the couch, dozing. BIG contractions and I feel something !POP! ‘down there’. My eyes fly open and I look at the clock. I get up, nothing wet. I sigh and start walking. Another contraction exactly 4 minutes after the first and then 4 minutes later another and so on and so forth. I call friends and tell them to get to the church and get Christopher. They get to the parking lot, see his car, each run in a different stairway and up into the church, can’t find him, come back down and his car is gone! They come to the house to stay with me until he appears (this is pre cell-phone days for us). He shows up (beer in hand-you always need a good beer on a holy day right?) wondering what all the bruhaha is. Give him the age old line I’d been waiting to deliver for 6 years.
“I’m in labor! Let’s go”
Had the fun drive to the hospital, get all checked in, chit-chat with the midwife. Labor. I refuse to get out of bed. I’m just fine where I am ‘thank you very much’. Grace Juliette May makes her debut fairly quickly but at what time? 12:43 AM March 26. She missed a holy day birthday by 43 minutes. I always wonder if I had gotten off my butt she may have been on the 25th.
Can I confess this?
You know, that was one of my biggest fears about giving birth… the whole “bearing down” thing and making a huge… mess… right there on the table.
Uh-uh. No way.
[I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel that way!]
So, God in His mercy has seen to it that I never have to do that. First born was an emergency c-section, and all others (because of how they had to get him out) have been c-sections too.
Which I am completely fine with!
ONE less worry for this Mommy…
[not that that’s the reason WHY it had to be c-sections, but what a bonus for me!]
God bless you and your handsome boy (and the rest of your family too!) on this wonderful Feast Day AND his birthday!!
Awww. So sweet! I love birth stories.
Okay,
I’m laughing and crying! I love stories like that!
I actually told my nurse on my third baby that I was *afraid* I was going to push something else out besides my baby and she said, “Honey, it’s no big deal—I will wipe it away if you do so it won’t get on your baby” helped me a LOT!
Thanks for sharing!
God bless you all,
Donna
teehee…
That was my worst fear with my first child…pooing on the table. Then I became a nurse and worked on a maternity floor and learned…practically everyone poos on the table. And no one but the patient is phased by it at all. 🙂
With my last one, poo was a different issue. I insisted up until the head was coming out that I really just needed to poo…she was very nearly born in a toilet. (sigh) Poor child.