Disclaimer: This post is for healthy, married women only. If you are in your third trimester, if you are sick, if you are in Phase-Whatever-It-Is-When-You’re-Practicing-NFP-and-Can-Flirt-But-That’s-It…
If you are any of those things or, conversely, if you’re a guy…
Then this post is not for you.
For the rest of you, friends & acquaintances & casual lurkers, please have a listen and give my words some thought. I’m pretty sure that you will have heard this all before, but this is my account and my experience—one woman speaking from her heart.
The gift of self is saving my marriage.
(I could stop there, but I won’t.)
(Because my husband disagreed with that statement, saying, “Well, our marriage was never really at risk. It’s not like I was going to leave you or anything.”)
Okay, then, let me amend my words.
The gift of self is saving us.
The funny thing is, I didn’t think it mattered. I didn’t think…and yet I knew. I knew that I was ignoring him—that my cheerful goodnights were not enough. They aren’t, you know—and we can make all sorts of excuse about how we’re way too this and we’re way too that and doesn’t he know how busy I am?
In the end, NONE of that matters.
What matters is what you’re doing to him—what matters is what you’re doing to you. I speak from experience—a very real and jarring experience—that took place a couple of Fridays ago when we finally discussed the effects of my indifference. The look on his face said it all. The look on his face is what convicted me.
(In some circles it’s called a “light bulb” moment. In others, of course, it’s known as grace.)
What could I give him, poor as I am? What could I give him? I gave him my heart.
Every day I gave him my heart—every day, each and every day.
Because I knew that my husband and I would never have the closeness I want…without my giving him the closeness he needs. (I needed it too, despite my mind and satan telling me otherwise. You do know where those “I’m too busy/too tired/too embarrassed” thoughts come from, don’t you?)
It was like “Save the Date” every day for a week…
…and I’m pretty sure it saved us.
To be cont.