And this is what I think.
I think that some of you are probably rolling your eyes at the duration of my blogging sabbatical. If that’s the case, don’t read this post! Go away right now and come back in a month.
I think that some of you—no, most of you—are very, very kind to have responded to yesterday’s pitiful mewing. Do you know what? Your prayers and encouragement worked. I think that when a person is as down as I was, a little empathy goes a long way. Are you a depressed extrovert? Blog about it! The attention helps.
Seriously, though.
I think that my emotional problems are similar to depression but are more cyclical in nature. I’ve been really depressed before, to the point where I needed medication. Do I now? I don’t know. A couple of people suggested that the mood swings and sadness might be related to ovulation and/or perimenopausal issues. Could it be? I am going on 42, after all.
And being nearly 42, I think that I need to exercise more and eat less. Enough said.
I think that I am not that different from most of you in feeling overwhelmed by my vocation. In fact, many of you said that you could have written my “Um…” post word-for-word. For that reason, I’d like to keep talking about some of these challenges we’re facing. I do like to keep it light and funny most days, as you well know, but I also like to keep it real.
As you also know…
…and speaking of which. I think that I need to talk to someone with a bunch of abbreviated letters behind his/her name. My doctor even recommended a woman back in June when I was struggling. Gee, do you think I should have made the appointment sooner?
(I called her this afternoon, by the way. Hooray! I’m so very proud of me!)
More than anything, I think that I should tell you that I’ve been happy today. The problems are still there but I feel happy! So there you go, then. I’d feel dishonest if I didn’t tell you.
Squinty but still smiling! And that’s the key. Have you heard the expression that a sad saint is one sad saint? It’s true. It is better to be joyful and we should strive as much as possible to be a happy witness of our faith. That said, we also need to hold out a hand when times are hard. Thank you, my friend, for having taken it.
I’d like to close with a conversation that took place not 15 minutes ago. Cate & Felicity were playing with cornstarch & water at the counter while I made supper.
Felicity: “Okay, so I’m the mommy and you’re the kitty. I’m going to be a playful mommy, like ours is.”
At this point I selfishly interrupted. “Oh! Do you mean me?”
“Yes,” Felicity responded. “Because you’re a playful mommy.”
I stood there for several moments, basking, at which point Cate chimed in.
“Yeah, but you can also be cross,” she added.
“Really cross.”
And with a mischievous grin, she kept on playing.
Ad Jesum per Mariam, ‘cause she knows best what to make of all this nonsense,
Margaret, toss me an email, OK? I too have those problems that are “cyclical” in nature. Medication helps. I’d be happy to share in more detail with you.
Keeping you in my prayers.
I'm sort of a lurker in the background most days, but a daily reader. I wanted to let you know I have been right there with you this week. I feel moody & lethagic & overspent. I'm pretty much driving my family crazy & I felt sooo VALIDATED by your post yesterday. It's OK to sometimes feel that way. We mothers have so much on our plates that it is inevitable that sometimes we feel this way. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone! Now I'm going to put on my big girl panties and get back into the business of being the mom. I'm not sure where the quote comes from (I got from a Mary Engelbreit calander) but it's been in my head all week…"Life is just so daily!" I think that pretty much sums it up for me!!
Margaret, so glad you’re feeling better!! 🙂
Oh Margaret!! Can I just say how much I enjoy this blog!! I think you are awesome…and a lot like me (at least…the libido thing anyway). I think you’re great and you’re doing just fine. Sometimes, I feel exactly like you!
Just overwhelmed with life! It seems like one day, it’s passing you by so quickly…and then the next…bored to tears. Sometimes, we get so overwhelmed that we miss all that is before us. Just remember…you are right where God wants you…even with all the confusion. Come on over to my blog and visit. You can always email me…nanc9r@aol.com
You and your blog ALWAYS make me smile. You are in my prayers.
I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve been worried. Praying for you, dear.
PS I feel the same way as you.
I’m so happy you feel better. I worried about you all day today.
I am so thankful that you are feeling a little better. You have been in my thoughts today… and in my prayers at mass this morning. I, too, can relate… the overwhelmed feeling… lacking exercise… overeating…etc… My husband has been away on business since last Tuesday and last night as I was TRYING to get my children to bed I broke down and just cried and cried… I told them I was sorry that I was being so crabby and told them that I just missed “Daddy” and need him to be home again… My children were a tremendous comfort and support and today was a new day. My hubby will be home by Saturday morning – thanks be to God! I do also think that these days are tough since it is the beginning of a new school year. We want to be “perfect” moms and teachers and homemakers, and… which puts so much extra pressure on ourselves. I don’t have a solution but I will remind you of something that I’m sure you already know, and that helps me when I remind myself… Rely on your Heavenly Mother for strength and support. She is always there for us – just waiting for us to turn to her. God Bless you, Margaret! You are a beautiful and inspirational woman.
Dear Margaret,
You are in my prayers. Speak with your Doctor about taking Cod Liver Oil. It has helped me to even out things emotionally speaking. Sally Fallon wrote the book “Nourishing Traditions” Check it out!
Good Bless,
Kate
Well, I a you read lengthy email by now. So I’ll just say how happy I am that you are feeling better today and are seeking a medical opinion to be on the safe side. I saw my therapist today and she says she’s seen a complete turn around from one year ago when I was talking just like you were on the last post.
I’ve just come to accept that a few days each month I have [really] bad days, and I have learned, through the help of many including my therapist, husband, mom and friend, as well as through a newfound life of prayer, that I can get through those days in a less stressful way. Doing nFP I basically know when it’s coming, so I prepare those close to me with a subtle warning that “tomorrow I might get a little cranky and overwhelmed,” so that will be “my day off.”
Here’s hoping for the best! And what sweet children you have to notice you in that way – as I think we all do!
If you want us to write more about specifics of a cycle’s effect on our emotional health, just let me know how much you want to read!!!
So glad you are back!! And happy to boot!!!
Love your girls conversation…I love to listen when they are playin the mommy…kind of a mirror image, huh?
Margaret ((HUG))
You are doing a fantastic job!!!
As an old experienced wife, I shall give you some advise. Tell that wonderfull hubby of yours to arrange for a sitter from noon saturday until noon sunday and take your “libido” for recharging to a nice hotel that has a good resturant. do a little window shopping with hubby just to talk. Go to mass at the Cathedral, or another RC church that you have been meaning to drop into. I find saturday evening mass very “relaxing”. and Or spend an hour with Jesus in adoration, TOGETHER! When you return home take the kids and the dog to a park, letem run, scream and play. buy them an icecream and a hotdog for supper and let them see you and hubby hold hands as you all walk in the park. When you wake up on monday morning the laundry, dishes and home schooling will still be there but you will have recharged your commitment to your family and your self 🙂
(yes, medication and counselling helps also, but so does the prescription i have just written)
God Bless
signed
Theresa in Alberta
Kitchen Madonna recommends this book to me so I’m passing it on:
“Before the Change: Taking Charge of Your Perimenopause” by Ann Louise Gittleman.
I’m going to try and get a copy from the library. It’s always worth a shot – and seeing a doctor is good, too. I see mine Tuesday.
Bless you!!
So, you’ve learned that it’s useless to disable comments on a post like that “um” one, right?
I hope so.
Don’t do it again. You’ve been warned.
Hey Margaret,
Checking in late, so I’m reading this story in reverse. I am happy to hear that you are feeling better today. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing your struggles along with your joy. We can support and encourage one another as God has planned. This is the beauty of the Body of Christ.
Ecclesiastes 4:10-12
God Bless my friend,
Jane
Margaret,
Thank you for being so honest, I know how hard it is to dispell the illusion of perfection. I suffer from periodic insomnia, usually the week before my period. I can’t function and there are times when I am so low that I just want to run away, except that I have no energy to do so. My husband keeps telling me to pop some pills, but I recently gave up my daily cig habit and I can’t take the chance that I will become addicted to sleep meds. All this and trying to be the best mom, wife and friend too. Hang in there. We all suffer in our own way.
Glad to hear you are doing better! Some Minnesota sunshine today will also help. Soak up some vit. D!
You know, I could have written that same post! I am a *little* older than you (by two years) and I started noticing the same cyclical problems you talked about at around 42. Sometimes, it’s just having a name to put to something that helps us to feel a little better (as in, no you’re not crazy!) I suffer with monthly bloating, worsening PMS, headaches, anxiety, slight depression (feeling blue) and mood swings. I have never experienced any of that before. I am a happy person normally, but those symptoms could make anyone feel like a bear. You are not alone!!
I noticed when I would bring up these things around other moms that they would say they experienced similar things as well. The worst part is that it is difficult for hubby to understand, we are used to hormone fluctuations (just not on this level!) What I do is I tell everyone when I’m not feeling well and they give me a little space. If you get some good advice that works, would you mind sharing it? I started taking some herbal concoctions but I’m not really sure if it helps. Thanks for bringing this up. Glad you’re feeling better!!
PS about the forgetfulness, I just wrote a post about that, maybe you can relate!!
Margaret, I’m glad you feeling a bit better. Just and idea for cycle problems – I’ve been looking into them for different reasons and I’ve learned a lot lately about the positive effects of natural progesterone cream. It helps level out the cycle for whatever reason it’s messed up, and you can find it at natural food stores. (They even had it at Fred Meyers in their natural food/herbal stuff section.) I just thought I’d toss the idea out there just in case anyone else wants to look into it too…
Peace be with you,
~Jenny
Margaret – I'm am so there – or at least I was a few years ago. I'm 47, but started having the same symptoms as you about 4 years ago. I was feeling not myself for about a year before I sucked it up and went to see the doc. I now take what I call my "happy" pills. I still feel the same cyclical symptoms, but they are much tamer now. I feel stupid for putting it off for so long, I guess I was trying to "tough" it out. I have also read the same book that commentor journey of truth has recommended – it's got lots of good info. There is another one out there called "When Your Hormones Go Haywire" that I found helpful. Good luck with all these changes – I'll be praying for you!
P.S. I love your blog, it's so real & funny. You are fearless!
Margaret, I just now read this one, but coincidentally posted about happiness this a.m. 🙂
I am so very, very happy to read about you feeling happy. 🙂
Glad to see you back and feeling better!
Love that photo too!
Glad to hear that you’re feeling better, although I was hoping for a “silver bullet” solution. 😉