I had a dream the other night. I imagine you did, too.
My dream was most unpleasant, though. I’d had a baby—yay!—then had to give him away to another mom to raise. Sob! Far worse was when I approached the other mom tentatively and asked if I might hold my child for a moment. I looked down at that little face with longing and wanted so much to be nursing him!
And then I accidentally dropped the baby off a building and I woke up.
What do you think? Do I have a little subconscious activity going on there or what?
So yes, there’s some stress in my life right now. Most of it has to with end-of-the-school-year odds & ends and such—the testing, the planning for next term, etc.—and some of it has to do with me. I am a perfectionist, alas, and there are too many areas in my life where I do not give myself any slack at all.
I spoke to my husband in code last night. “Je suis burnt out,” I told him. (It worked; the kids didn’t get it but my husband did.)
He smiled consolingly but didn’t say much. He hears me say this every spring. “Stay the course,” he tells me again and again. “Aim high. Stay the course.”
So I retired to my bedroom and had a good cry. More importantly, I prayed. I am very flighty and very mutable and when the going gets tough I try to run.
“Aim high. Stay the course.”
At that point I heard a name in my head—the name of a friend from church and a fellow homeschooler. I called her up and we talked for half an hour. This did me no end of good. She spoke with tenderness, faith and love, this friend, and she said the same thing as my husband.
“Aim high. Stay the course.”
By the end of the conversation my stress had disappeared and my peace was restored. I knew without doubt that the moment was from God. I am not being called to do it all perfectly and I am certainly not alone. I just need to turn to God and He’ll guide me.
It is easy to aim high when I turn to God. He is here and He is love.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Oh how I understand! Thanks for sharing! I guess I am not alone. Good to know! Blessings, Trish- mom to 8
Moi, aussi, mon amie. Today will be better- just has to, right?!
God bless you for admitting you’re stressed. The end of the school year is tough. Thank God you have a friend you can call. Aren’t friends just a certain kind of joy in life? I feel like friends are a way of God telling us He loves us . . . friends do help us stay the course. BTW, your husband is a keeper!!
A bientot, mon amie!!
Praying for you, dear Kindred Spirit, and offering my crispiness for yours.
Love you!
I’m feeling the same way in my own life. I guess no matter what stage we’re at, this is bound to happen! Thanks for sharing… it helped “lighten my load.”
The same thing has been going around over here, Margaret. My meltdown was last Friday (who says 3 year olds are the only ones who can do that?). Sometimes it is just so hard to keep it all together with the summer and the end of the schooling almost within reach.
For us, it had a happy ending because my husband and the boys and I all sat down and discussed the boys’ part in doing better in our homeschool efforts. And I clearly know my weaknesses too. With firm resolution for the fall, we’ll head into the long summer break just as soon as we get that last Seton book report done. We might all need a reminder of the lessons learned from these tough days come August though!
Hang in there, dear Margaret! Let’s celebrate when this school year is finally behind us!!
Does anyone else feel like Seton could cut out at least one of the book reports for the year??? I only have three kids, but that’s 12 reports I have to check every year, which means I have to read all the books as well (and certainly, there’s no love lost there, because I love to read) . . . but I have my own stack of books to read.
Okay, I don’t have to read the books, but I like to in order to discuss them with the kids. I’ve always done that, even when they were in public schools.
St. Scholastica, pray for us!
Well, my French lessons have already paid off…I understood what you said to your husband! 🙂
I wish for you a strong finish to the year and a fun and relaxing summer.
Yes Margaret, the end of the school year IS stressful. Just think, you only have 5 kids to stress about. I have 28 Kindergarteners to handle. So, maybe in a way you might have it easier than I do. But in other ways you don’t. It all evens out in the end. 12 days and counting!!!!
Lovely post. You are certainly not alone!
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