Often the lofty plans we have for our sanctification are not at all what God ordains. We think we know how best to serve Him, and then He tells us, “No, that’s not it.”
And so it has been with my Holy Week. My plans were to attend (with all five children) every service that my church offered. Last night, however, I fudged a bit. I left the two little girls with a neighbor and took only the three oldest to Tenebrae.
Most of you don’t fault me for this, I know, but it is not what I said I was going to do!
I can also tell you right now (because I know right now) that we are not going to make it to the Mass of the Last Supper. I have a doctor’s appointment on one end of town at 1:00 p.m., and I know that I will not have it in me to dash back home—eat a hurried supper—and travel to the other side of town for the 7:30 p.m. liturgy.
I just can’t do it. And I don’t think my 3-, 5-, and 7-year-olds could do it either. Cate was a trouper at last night’s Tenebrae but she was a little squirmy…and halfway through the service, she got chatty. (Have I mentioned she’s my daughter?)
Therefore, instead of assisting at the Holy Thursday Mass, the children and I are going to celebrate with a quiet seder meal at home. We will be using the menu and readings from this website; we will linger; and we will listen. (At least, we will listen with as much attention as the 3-year-old permits!)
Even my goals for Good Friday may need amending. Before leaving on his overnight business trip, my husband informed me that we would need to attend a closing on a loan sometime this Friday. I am pretty sure my chin hit the counter with a resounding thunk.
“But that’s Good Friday!” I protested.
And in his stress, he shrugged.
God’s plans are not always my plans. I know that He is asking me to be a help—not a hindrance—to my husband at this time. (At all times, really.) I know that He is asking me to be content staying on the little path on which He leads me. My ambitions, though, would have me forge ahead! Come on, kids! Keep climbing! What do you mean you’re tired? The view from the summit is great, my friends! Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!
No. That’s not it for us right now. That’s not what would best serve us.
In humility, then, I must accept what the day—and this sacred Triduum—has in store for us. I must be like Peter and let Jesus provide for me as He wills, not in false humility with a protest of “You will never wash my feet!” or with greedy demands (“Not only my feet, but my hands and head as well!”) but instead, with simplicity and thankfulness for all.
Have a blessed, sacred Triduum, everyone. See you on Easter.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Blessings, friend. Enjoy God’s gifts.
Thank you Margaret! We’re blessed to be able to finagle a babysitter for *one* night this week to attend one of Triduum liturgies. God knows I want to be with Him at church so much more this particular week (every year) but I’m mollified and edified with reminders like your post today. I waited so long to be a mom and I need to savor these moments while my kids are so little and so distractable, even at the cost of not being at church but having to resort to my own “liturgy” of being present to the littles this week.
Ah, I understand. A broken van and an expected snowstorm tomorrow seem to be thwarting a lot of our plans this week.
We had to drop tonight’s service also. My husband has a late meeting he must attend, and I am not about to try to take all four boys by myself to a 2 hour Mass. It probaby is jsut as well, as the boys will just need to be still through Good Friday’s service.
I really miss when my husband and I would attend every Triduum liturgy. But this is just a season, right? 🙂
Great post, Margaret. Reminds me of the year I gave up working on the RCIA team, in favor of more time at home with husband and kids. I so wanted to go to Holy Thursday Mass with the candidates that year, but stayed home with Atticus and did a “holy family” meal with the kids. God’s plans are always the best. 🙂
Wonderful post. I surrendered so long ago to doing things in “little” ways like St. Teresa of the little flower. I do little things because that is all I can do. God does not want us mamas stressed – he wants peace. Jaw dropping is always good for our husbands though!
Our week has been similar to yours! But truly, sometimes missing Mass is quite a sacrifice too. Whether at Mass tonight or not, we can keep watch with Our Lord in our hearts and homes as well.
Have a blessed Triduum, Margaret!
Thank you for humbly admitting what we can’t do!! It happens so much doesn’t it? We have big plans for ourselves…but the blessings of our children far out measure anything we would have planned on our own.
This year, amazingly, there is a good Friday service at one of the parishes in our 3 cluster and I am able to go at 7pm, without the kids, otherwise, it has been 4 years since I last left after an hour with a 3 year old and a screaming, arms flapping on the ground 1 1/2 year old, drenched in sweat and pitch red, by myself. My husband has to always work on Good Friday and works late on Tues/Thurs…we do what we can!
Blessings to you, I’m sure the blessings will be far greater to you than if you could have done what you planned for yourself.
I try to take comfort in the fact that God knows what I want – but He also knows what is best. 🙂 In the book of John we get a different look of The Last Supper – it’s there John tells us what Jesus talked about – how He was going away– but he repeatedly says, “Peace, I give you my peace…” In the short time of our journey that we have littles, that Peace is one of the biggest gifts we can receive. Our small ones need to be able to get something out of this holy time of the year – but often that meal at home will have more meaning – or at least offer more “teaching moments” – than attending the service will. Ultimately, the idea is to train our children up, and prayerfully they will be saints one day — it’s best to take one day at a time, as they are given us, and let God lead us moment by moment – even if we think it would be “better” to do things a bit differently. 🙂
Peace be with you all this Holy Thursday,
~Jenny
Thank you.
It’s so hard to remember that our vocation can call us from where we think we need to be to where God wants us.
Peace
Blessings to you and your Family Margaret. We never know what God’s plan is for us, do we? Enjoy the sader at home. I am still pondering whether I have the energy to attend services tonight. Easter preparations are in full swing here. Of course I have my trusty Magnificat in case I don’t make it. I love that book!!!
Thank you for sharing your struggles, my dear.
A different perspective on your situation came to mind: Think of how refreshed and able to soak in the Easter joy you will be, as compared to those of us who are on day 5 of liturgies/kids up late/etc.
Have a blessed Triduum at home, and we’ll see you on Sunday.
So obviously, I’m not the only one with “updated” plans for this week. I, too, had lofty goals of attending everything, but now the parents are in town helping us to fix up our house to sell it and we’re up to our eyeballs in new fixtures and drywall and anything else the hardware store sells. I like what akarels said about being fresh for Easter Mass, though. I’ll have to keep reminding myself about that.
I try to share my Masses and Holy Communions with those who cannot be there in person so I will take you and your family and any other busy Moms and families with me tonight and tomorrow. lois in Indy
Thank you SO much for posting this today. My husband is on call for a week starting tonight at midnight, and I’m praying just to be able to make it through Easter Mass alone if it comes down to it. I was especially happy to see how you said your 3, 5, and 7 year old might not make it…that’s my kids, except throw in an additional 15 month old in, and I don’t think I can hack it on my own through the Good Friday service (which I will definatly be alone for as DH works late while he’s on call). I didn’t plan well this year for Easter. I have been either pregnant, moving, post partum, or coming down from having a baby hospitalized twice when Easter came around. This year it sort of snuck up on me. I have a beautiful velvet purple cloth draped over our television, as a reminder to keep it quiet as much as possible (although I am using “emergency videos” down the basement in the downstairs VCR). That’s about all I can do, and quietly sit with Him in my heart until Easter. God Bless you!
Wait, wait, wait. We’re supposed to abandon that, too? Sigh. God didn’t give us these sweet blessings (all of them) without knowing we couldn’t make it to________ (fill in the blank). Blessings to all of you, today and all of this wonderful season. Must go—Bunka is stuffing neatly quartered grapes in his diaper.
Margaret, you don’t know how relieved I feel after reading this post. Supermom, though you are, the thought of making it to every service this week back and forth, up and down the freeways for days on end makes me tired just thinking about it. I don’t know about your crew, but mine behave MUCH better for morning Mass than they have for any evening service. Maybe it would be character building for children, but I think that for ME the resulting stress would undo the grace from every good thing I hmight have done this lent!
Margaret,
Thanks for being so honest. I don’t remember going to the whole enchalada until I was in high school and college. At that point, my parents could do it for us, and I am so grateful that they did it. But up until that point, my mom did what she could. And usually, that was Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Happy Easter!
Sweet Margaret-
I am a cradle Catholic and have never heard of a seder meal. What is it?
Your blog is always a highlight of my day-what a light you are!!
BTW, we didn’t make it to church today, either. We were there in our hearts, though.
Happy Easter.
Oh, Margaret, thank you for this post. It is so hard to admit that we can’t do it all, sometimes. I have kids similar in age to your youngest. 2,4 & 5. We usually have duties at Mass, so it is divide and conquer here. I go alone Thursday, hubby Friday and all go on Sunday. I REALLY miss going on Saturday night, but it truely just does not work for us right now. I have a special connection with the Holy Saturday Liturgy, as that is the day 11 years ago, that I entered the Church.
Blessings go out to all the catechumens who will be joining our Church family tomorrow night!
I hope you aren’t getting dumped on with snow this weekend. I’ve had to cancel my travel plans to see MN relatives on Sunday because of the weather.
Have a wonderful Easter!
My husband was at work until very late yesterday and will be again very late today and tomorrow….all of our services are in the evening as well, so if I attended, I would be on my own with the kids. We did it last year, and it was very stressful. I opted out this time. Evening services are no good with my gang. Each service starts at 7 and mine are usually in bed at 8! All this to say, I don’t blame you at all…lol.
You have the right attitude, Margaret! 🙂
Today, I had all five kids bundled in the van, preparing to brave yet another Wisconsin snow storm (8-10 inches predicted for our area today). As we were ready to pull out, the UPS truck pulled up on the driveway right behind our garage door. And that’s where he got stuck.
Twenty-minutes-and-two-snow-chains later, the UPS man got himself out of the jam, only to hop out of his truck and ask me where I was trying to go in this weather. When I told him we were going to church, he said he wouldn’t advise it, given the roads. (I hadn’t been out since early morning and wasn’t too aware of how much the streets had deteriorated.) As he was telling me this, my cell phone rang. It was hubby calling from the road to say that there was no parking anywhere near the church due to the snow emergency. He’d been driving around for twenty minutes looking for parking for his little Saturn. It was only going to be harder for my full-size passenger van.
So, looking at the twenty-minutes lost to the stuck UPS truck, the extra time it was going to take on the bad roads, and the lack of nearby parking for a mom who’d like not to tote five young kids multiple blocks to church through blinding snow and sleet, we knew we’d be an hour late, and we called it a day. We headed inside and prayed the Stations of the Cross on our own, read the Good Friday readings, and sang the Stabat Mater together. I’m sure God understands. You can only do so much.
Oh Margaret! Did you enjoy your Christian seder? We’ve been doing that ritual as a family for 8 years now. Check out my website for pictures of our celebration.
Hope you had a blessed Easter Sunday!