I am wondering if I might interest you in a post or two about my conversion. It’s quite a story—not a tall tale, unfortunately, but it is a long one—and the reason I am thinking about is this:
Today is the feast of my much-loved adopted patron, Queen Margaret of Scotland, and as I meditate on her amazing life I find myself longing to be better.
I want to be more holy.
I want to be more zealous.
And I want to be more at peace with my place in the world and with my contributions to it.
Yes, I know. That’s no small order! The saints persevered, however, in reaching the goals of their longing. Why can’t we?
I was 23 years old when I reverted to the Catholic Church. I was what the priest who heard my general confession referred to as a “big fish”, a young woman so enmeshed in her sinful lifestyle that she couldn’t even pray. “Why should I pray,” I thought at the time and in my misery. “That’d be hypocritical.”
Do you know how in telling his conversion story, Father Corapi says that he committed every sin except murder? Well, that was me.
And I was like that for perhaps a decade.
“I have sinned, Lord, I have sinned:
Well I know my wickedness.
Yet I make this prayer to you:
Lord, forgive me, heal and bless.”(Hymn from today’s Magnificat meditation)
When I consider the sins of my past, I wonder how—or if—they could have been prevented. “Oh happy fault,” exalts St. Augustine, “To have gained for us such a Redeemer.” He’s right, the great Augustine. (Is this why I find myself so drawn to his Confessions?)
I know that I would not be the Christian mother that I am today were it not for my absolute horror of the sins I once committed. I know that I have a unique perspective and that God has brought much good out of the badness in my life.
And yet…and yet…ultimately I also know that much is expected from those who have much received. It’s this thought, perhaps, that scares me the most.
To be continued…
Thank you for sharing this. I look forward to futher posts about your conversion.
Thank you for this Margaret. I am drawn to the stories of those whose lives were once very different. I think it gives me hope.
*I would love any reading suggestions if you have any. The hubby (mostly him) and I are participating in our Church’s RCIA program. It has been quite wonderful!
I love hearing conversion stories. And you have such a beautiful way of sharing your stories…Can’t wait to hear more.
I can’t wait to hear the rest. I am a convert as well, and came back into the church around age 23 as well. “Behold I make all things new…”
I love reading your blog! You are my role model!
Margaret, I am so looking forward to hearing your story.
Margaret, your words really struck a chord with me. I too, fell away from the church and truly, it took meeting and falling in love with my husband to bring me back into the true grace of being Catholic. Thanks for sharing a bit of your past and look forward to reading more on your conversion.
Margaret, you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing this story–I’ll be waiting for more.
Thanks for this post. It struck a chord with me… You are such a blessing.
–mommy to 5
Oh, Margaret … so much here I can identify with, though I am a convert rather than a revert. With so much serious sin in my past, I, too, am horrified by it … and yet, I know that He uses all things to make us new, including our pasts.
I look forward to hearing more ….
Conversion stories are great! Share whatever you are comfortable sharing, and in your own time.
God is very good indeed!
Mrs. B
Margaret, you have truly struck a chord with me. My past is something I tend to gloss over (I can partition things like the best of them). Thank you for your post. Really. I too am a revert.