Because clearly, I’m a better parent than I think.
I think.
Though were you to seek the opinion of my 7-year-old, the words “good” and “parent” would be nowhere near each other in a sentence.
Well, kid, you’re just going to have to get over it.
And, gulp, so am I.
It is bad enough that I had to drag all five kids out into the sub-zero temperatures for their piano lessons. And in the middle of nap-time (my two-year-old’s and mine) to boot!
Not surprisingly, my toddler and my preschooler both fell asleep on the way over.
Fortunately, I did not.
Given, however, the fact that they were sound asleep and also that our gas tank was on empty, I dropped my two “responsible” young men off at the door of the building with the following clear instructions:
“Stay together! I don’t care who goes first, but I want you to wait in the room while the other one has his lesson.”
And then the little girls and I went to get gasoline.
And candy.
Because it’s like 80 degrees below zero! We’re tired! We’re cold! We’re crabby!
Mom. Needs. Chocolate.
Feeling benevolent, I picked up one small item for all five kids. A surprise for the boys, who were up in the studio pounding away on their pieces for their teacher. And a surprise for Mom, when we went upstairs and found Son #2 not waiting with his brother as I’d told him, but hanging out happily by himself in the reception room.
Oh, how I hate direct disobedience!
I just hate it!
I knew, then, that the punishment had to hurt.
And I knew it would hurt me every bit as much as him.
The candy was doled out to all & sundry, except of course for Son #2 who found a quiet corner between a chair and the wall and pouted. The entire time.
And he pleaded his case. And made excuses.
And Mommy, such the bad guy, remained FIRM.
Like I said, Dr. Guarendi would be proud.
My son eventually got his candy, but not until the following day. I hope he learned a small lesson….a lesson in delayed gratification, certainly, but also in obedience.
“We can pay now or we can pay later.” More wisdom for a parent (and person) like myself who is sometimes tempted to choose popularity over punishment.
Ouch, though! Being in debt with one’s children, however temporarily, takes inner strength and…..chocolate.
*Ed. note: you may wonder if I left the girls in the van while I went to get the candy. I am just anal enough to have tell you: no, ma’am, I did not.
Oh Margaret, You are such a good parent! *smile* I’ve had to that before too and child and I are both the better for it.
Enjoy this little snow we were sprinkled with this morning.
Blessings from my corner of MN,
Theresa
I knew you would not leave them in the car!! It was not even a thought.
You are a wonderful mother and I’m sure you are in good graces with the one who was in trouble now that he has had his candy!
Something similar happened yesterday to me, my son was SO looking forward to dessert (a brownie dessert with a cream cheese filling and cherry pie filling on top) that he said he could taste it just thinking about it! They got out napkins (paper) and their forks while I dished it up on plates. In the process of getting forks, my son decided to spin and spin around and around with fork in hand and me telling him to stop. Well…the fork landed on the corner of his sister’s eye, even poked the skin enough to draw a little blood! So, yes, you guessed it,he lost his dessert! he argued and tried to plead his case, something like she stood up and ran into his fork…he went down stairs and I could hear him whimpering all the way down, broke my heart. But he did get his dessert after indoor soccer last night, now all is happy in his world and mommy’s!
We are happy, kind of, we finally got about an inch of snow this morning but it is still too cold to go outside in this part of MN!
When I was a kid I always thought the old parental saying “this is going to hurt me more than it does you” was baloney. Now I totally understand. Sometimes it really hurtsto be a good parent.
Margaret,
I never even considered the notion that you would leave them in the car…
I’m sure we’re all better parents than we think….thanks for the reminder today!
Great job Margaret – I learned something. And I get to hear Dr. Ray speak on Saturday – yeah!!
Leave the kids in the car? I might be a bit more anal than you, though, because not only do I not leave them in the car alone, but even while I’m pumping the gas right outside the car, I lock all the doors! (My husband thought I was nuts when he found out about that, but that same week, there were two cases of gas station car thefts with kids in the back, while mom was pumping.)
Good for you…and yes, I know how it hurts.
Ouch-a-rama.
I won’t tell you our weather, if you promise not to tell us how it is in Hawaii(?) next month…J/K!
😉
I knew you didn’t leave them in the car, and I also knew you are an excellent mommy. 🙂
You are so funny. I don’t think I have your strength. 1) To get out when it’s that cold 2) To not break down and give the candy just to get the child to BE QUIET and 3) to not eat the candy myself before the next day. #3 is the most likely scenario around here. Yay for good parenting moments!
Margaret, I have been thinking about this post all week. You are such a brave northerner! I have only taken my kids out once this week and ignored the gas light in the van for three days. I finally filled up when I went out alone on errands last night. I sent the girls out to play today, with all this sun, but they were back in less than 10 minutes!