You might think, by that title, that I’m talking about my 90-year-old parents, and you would be right.
But only in part.
It’s true that my parents have lived their lives–their very long and rewarding lives. The years were full up and now they’re thankful…but tired.
Were you to ask them about death, they’d reply: “We’re ready.”
And this makes sad, but I understand.
It is especially hard on my beloved papa, whose mind is just as keen as always but whose body (in his words) is giving out.
Think about it. Wouldn’t it be hard to not feel trapped? This is why praying for the elderly’s so important, that they not give in to feelings of despair.
All that said..
We had a hootenanny of a time at my dad’s 90th birthday party. We met in the vestibule of my hometown church, where the parishioners had gathered for the Palm Sunday procession.
We sang Happy Birthday to my father–a.k.a. Deacon George–and he was so very sweet and pleased to hear it.
After Mass and a reception at Pizza Ranch, we went back to my mom and dad’s. We laughed and drank wine–lots and lots of wine–and we shared a ton of stories old and new. Angela couldn’t get enough of the stories, especially the ones involving my sister Renee. “It’s true!” I told Angela, recounting one of our most-told tales. “She called all of the neighbor kids into the house to play, then poofed our faces with flour and stuck hot sauce on our tongues.
“We loved it. We held our burning tongues and said ‘Thith ith so great!’ “
“Is Auntie Nae the one that you say I’m like?” Angela asked, her blue eyes shining with excitement and joy.
“Yes,” I told her. “You both are stinkers.”
Angela…my sister Renee…they honor my parents with their lives
because they’re like my parents; they live life to the full. Back in the day, my parents
went and went. They never stopped going and giving and living, and I see this quality in my daughter and my sister.
Now listen. I don’t want to get all deep on you here, but too bad.
I’m going to do it.
I can’t not do it.
My takeaway thought from this latest trip home is simple: Live, Love, Laugh, Forgive. It’s perhaps a simple thought, but it’s not always easy in the execution, especially that “forgiving” bit. I’ve seen families torn apart by unforgiveness!
I look at my parents and see the life I want to live. I want to go and go and live and forgive. I want to carry the
torch that they ignited, and when I’m 90 (or 80, or 50), I want to be surrounded by the people I love.
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| Photo Credit: My Niece Aimee |
The hot sauce is optional.
The love and laughter are not.
What a legacy you've been given!
Beautiful post. I lost the most important woman in my life on 2/28/15 at the age of 96. She lived, loved, laughed, and forgave to the fullest. I wish the generation between her and i would live the same way. Set the good example for your kids. God bless you and your beautiful (and extended) family.
Reception at Pizza Ranch! Is there any better party?! Not in this house! Happy birthday to a beautiful and — clearly — deeply loved man.
Oh, Tears…so very beautiful. So fun seeing Yvonne in this, since I "know" her and all now!
OH, your whole family seems like family to me now. We've been friends a long long time. Like almost 9 years!
I'm taking away "praying for the elderly" part. Love that part.
Beautiful – that is my take away too and I see it so much in my husband's parents. Love, live, give – they embody it. I adore family get togethers like the one you describe, the best!
Your parents are absolutely adorable! And what an example they've been to your family. Happy Birthday to your dad!
You are a very fortunate woman to have had two loving parents for so long. What an incredible gift God has given you. Enjoy! And laugh — I was just telling someone today that I think we need children to laugh. I can't tell you the last time I laughed. Really. I think we need young children to help us see joy. God has blessed you!
We need to get together and LAUGH, dear friend. I'll bring the wine; you bring the antipasta.
Beautiful Margaret. I love especially the picture of Felicity with your Dad. I so wish that I had taken more pictures of the kids with my Dad. Oh and yes, forgiveness – often without that a person would not have the joy, love and laughter. That the good Lord my parents forgive as well. 🙂
*thank* the good Lord.
I love the pictures of Felicity and your Dad as well. Precious.
That was the first thing I did when I got home, Christine–stuck them on the couch for this photo! : )
Forgiveness is hard. I tell my children all the time, "There's nothing you can do to make me stop loving you." I tell them especially when they are the most unlovable.
My older children now, they look at me thoughtfully, and they ask, "What if I ?"
And I look right back and say, "I hope you won't, I don't want that for you, but there's nothing you can do to make me stop loving you."
It's a kind of pre-forgiveness. And I think they must find great comfort in knowing that they can never make a mistake that's too big for our love.
I've had similar conversations, sometimes very awkward in nature, because I've told them that if ever they screw up in…you know…a premarital way, I will LOVE my new grandbaby like nobody's business.
Like I said, a little awkward, but necessary, too, in this culture.
You've been on my mind and, if you don't mind, please pardon me if I make a suggestion. Start mentally preparing for their move into the next world. That sounds harsh and hard. Pray the Divine Mercy chaplet for them every day. Jesus promises to meet them at their death as the Merciful Savior and not the Just Judge and that, my friend, gives more comfort that you can know right now. When we said goodbye to grandma, I had the time to mentally prepare and let go of anything because we knew she was slipping out of this world and into the next soon. It was a beautiful death because we knew. And while they still are in decent health, pray. I know you do. I know you are a powerful prayer warrior. Just wanted to give you my perspective. My feelings were not this peaceful when my grandpa died 8 years before her. I was too busy. Too stressed. The grief was overwhelming, maybe magnified by all the stress. I'm stressed now, too, but the difference was unbelievable. I will offer Divine Mercy chaplets for them, too, because they are WONDERFUL people.
What a dear, sweet friend you are. Thank you for this. ♥