On Falling Off the Whole Foods Wagon
“You look different,” the chiropractor told me on Monday, and I was pretty sure I knew what he meant.
“I’ve gained some weight,” I said, sliding onto the adjustment table. “Is that it?”
“That could be it.” His hands moved nimbly, pressing on my lower back. “I was going to ask if you were pregnant.”
Now granted, I don’t know why he thought I was pregnant. He’s a very holistic kind of guy and may have seen something more than just the extra weight. I do know that I’d had a horrible weekend, food-wise—heck, I’ve had a horrible month—and it’s been affecting the way I carry myself.
I’m slouching more, both literally and figuratively.
I look in the mirror and think, “You suck.”
(This is what’s known as an unhealthy script.)
(It’s a “feeling helpless and hopeless” kind of thing.)
Now I know I don’t suck but the way I’ve been feeling does. I have had ZERO will power when it comes to food, and that’s why I started another Whole30 on Monday. I need to re-boot; recharge; readjust my thinking. I need to stop (yet again) eating so much junk, and the best way (for me) is to have strict parameters.
It’s embarrassing, really, how quickly I fell off the good-habit wagon. I went from drinking 64-ounces of water a day to sneaking honey mustard pretzels in the van, all in the span of a mere two months.
Clearly my food issues need more time to resolve.
Clearly my cravings are all still there.
For this reason, and many others, I cannot get enough of this book by Lysa TerKeurst. It’s been out since 2010 but I’ve only recently discovered its wisdom.
“It is good for God’s people to be put in a place of longing so they feel a slight desperation. Only then can we be empty long enough and open enough to discover the holiness we were made for. When we are stuffed full of other things and never allow ourselves to be in a place of longing, we don’t recognize the deeper spiritual battle going on. Satan wants to keep us distracted by chasing one temporary filling after another. God wants us to step back and let the emptying process have its way until we start desiring a holier approach to life. The gap between our frail discipline and God’s available strength is bridged with nothing but a simple choice on our part to pursue this holiness.”
Or how about this one:
“We like to identify our shortcomings, form them into a club, and mentally beat the tar out of ourselves. Over and over and over again. We label ourselves and soon lose our real identity to the beaten and bruised fragility we call ‘me.’ We compare, we assume, we assess, we measure, and most times walk away shaking our head at how woefully short our ‘me’ falls when compared to everyone else. How dangerous it is to hold up the intimate knowledge of our imperfections against the outside packaging of others.”
She says it well and in so many ways. It is NOT just about the weight!
If it were, those lost pounds would have stayed off.
If it were, I wouldn’t be saying I suck.
wow…I would have punch that chiropractor in the …back! ha
That was just rude to say to anyone. just saying
You are healthy! Losing weight is a battle. Having kids and all this food around is hard for me too…I totally get it. Every time I go and pick up the kids I bring them a treat…and one for me! Well…it is not getting worn off. We do not wear off calories like kids do.
anyways..no advice from me. just that I wanted to really say…that guy was really out of line to say that. You look great to me! I say your video!
…saw your video..saw saw saw!!!
Christine, I just love you to pieces. You are cute cute cute!
I get the "giving kids lots of treats" thing. Baking is one of my love languages! In that book, though, she talks about having an unhealthy psychological dependence on food–say, on the good feelings that come from being safe, cozy and a family–to the point where we turn to the food TOO MUCH.
Right now, I'm trying to find a balance.
Great to begin again but don't beat yourself up too much. I started Lightweigh recently. Each session is 12 weeks and they recommend doing numerous sessions simply because we need to keep moving forward to build that habit!
The only diet that works is the one that begins in the soul. This book looks like the perfect read. I love what she has to say. Don't fret too much, it's so very common to slide back after doing well at an eating regime. That's why those special 30 day diets are seldom successful. Small changes leading to new habits, and a better relationship with yourself, is the only plan that can offer real long-term success.
As for that chirpractor, surely everyone in the civilised world knows they don't say such things to women unless they are specifically told by the woman herself that, yes, she is pregnant.
Amen to pretty much everything you said!
Thank you, Margaret, for your recap of coming off your first Whole30 and your reasons for starting a new one. I laughed out loud when you wrote how "quickly" you went back to old habits – over the course of two months! It usually only takes me 2 DAYS!!! I'd say you did pretty well!
I always think you look beautiful and at a healthy weight, but, as you say, it is not all about the weight.
I hope you feel great doing the next Whole 30!
Thanks for keeping us posted and be kind to yourself!!! That negative self talk drives me right to the sugar!
Laura
At least you don't look like Maude. (go see my latest post)
(((((hugs))))) Big ones.
Oh man, honey mustard pretzels are wickedly good, even gluten-free ones. I try to count out the number of pretzels the bag says is a serving so I limit my intake.
Yesterday I handed over my van stash to my daughter, who promptly gobbled them up in my presence. The smell was almost just as good. ; )
Could he have been saying that you have a glow about you?? I saw that video and you looked great! That being said, I hope you feel better soon if you are not feeling well. That is so much more important than scale numbers or rude chiropractors. Prayers for you my friend on the next 30.
Feeling better is a HUGE part of it, Betsy. I'm only on Day 4 of going gluten-free and already I'm feeling much less "puffy."
(otherwise known as "is she pregnant?" ; )
I absolutely know what you are talking about. I look 5 months pregnant if I get any gluten at all in my system. Maybe a recipe to bake for your family that you could all enjoy? I could give you recipes but they all have sugar. 🙂
not sure what Whole 30 is, but I have been eating clean for a while now and the secret for me is flooding my body with whole foods, especially fruits and vegetables. I too have done it all, and the best program that I found is the same one Mom4Life talks about above because it fills me spiritually. I do find, however, if I eat gluten (I'm celiac) or sugar I have terrible mood swings and achy joints. So, I stick to praying and fasting, eating clean and drinking a lot of water. This momma of 6 boys is very happy with the way I feel and the way I look!
How is the 2nd Whole30 going? I was feeling pretty good and then I made these cranberry peanut butter bars … and no one liked them but me 🙂 Laura