Hmm…I wonder what inspired the title of this post?
Perhaps I should have called it “Bed Hogs.”
I took this photo in the middle of the night. My husband was in Indiana and had no idea I’d snuck the boys into our bed, which, strictly speaking, is against house rules.
So don’t tell him, okay? Because, like, I’m sure he didn’t notice it when I posted this picture on Facebook and, what’s more, tagged him specifically.
Okay, so he knows. It’s what I did to cope.
We moms have all sorts of coping mechanisms, don’t we? Most of mine involve Facebook and the (over) consumption of highly caffeinated beverages.
I’ve also discovered the joys of Instagram, a new (to me!) photographic platform that gives me one more excuse (!) to take pix of the kids.
Not that they even notice my taking their picture any more.
The good news? After taking that picture I put the cell phone away. I breathed in the gorgeous fall afternoon (we have precious few gorgeous fall afternoons) and then hoisted my bum off the quilt for a walk. George followed along on his cute little scooter, and Francis kick-kick-kicked his soccer ball.
That kid LOVES his soccer ball. Any ball, for that matter. Oh no! More sports!
My heart breaks just a bit to hear this. It’s not fair! The girl absolutely loves furry animals. “I’m so sorry, honey,” I tell my daughter often. “But in heaven, you’ll be allergy-free. You’ll have battalions of bunnies! You’ll have dogs! You’ll have dust mites!”
(Actually, he didn’t name it. He just snapped the picture from the plane.)
Our time on this earth is all about stolen moments. We can make the most of what we’re given, or we can spend our time fretting about what we don’t have. (And you know I know full well about fretting!) Recently, though, I received the sweetest email from a reader who just sent her oldest off to college. Her words so touched my heart that I asked to share some of them…
…and most thankfully, she said yes. : )
He was the first, and you know how it is with those firsts. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I did firmly resolve to embrace his senior year, all of it. It was a year of lasts, you know, last time for this, last time for that, but it was good. We lived life to the full, and embraced each moment. Then, suddenly, my mother died. On a November morning, she died of a heart attack, and just like that, she was gone.
I know you’re losing your dear mother. I lost a grandmother to Alzheimer’s, and it’s such a sad loss. It takes so long, and you lose so much. I lost my mom in an instant. No matter how it comes, loss is hard. Embrace each day!
But, with your oldest, I just want to encourage you to live each day to the full! Try hard not to live in May, planning graduation and all that. Don’t live in the leaving, live in the now when he’s right there, with you. Hug him every day. Love him while he’s there, and cherish each moment.
It can be hard not to live in the future. It can be even harder not live in the past. My goal–and I have to recommit to this hourly–is to be as present and cheerful and thankful as possible. Yes, I’ll screw up and will fret, yell and nag. Yes, I will sometimes play the “guilt card”, like when I wanted to post my son’s cloud photos but Joe was too busy to send me them.
“But I made you French toast,” I told him pointedly. “You said you’d text me those photos if I made you French toast.”
“Why is this so important?” he asked, as I begged and pleaded for the 86th time.
“Because,” I admitted, more than a bit embarrassed, “I want to put them on my blog and talk about their metaphorical significance.”
He stared at me and then said, “Huh?”
“You know,” I said. “A picture you took? From the plane? And you ‘flying off’ to college next year?”
“You’re such a mom,” he told me, grinning.
That’s right; I am.
It’s what God made me.
Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. Especially the part that your reader wrote and how much you two have in common and what a blessing this world is to be able to connect. To bless each other.
I wanted to comment on your last post, but I'm not there and felt it wouldn't have mattered…but please know you are in my prayers. I'm also taking notes. (I have a few years…just a few)
Aww, love this. . . " to be as present and cheerful and thankful as possible." You know what, I am going to write that line on my refrigerator today. I really needed this reminder. Thanks.
"Don't live in the leaving…" Oh my! That was powerful. Thank you for sharing that!
I'm in my late 20s, was homeschooled in a Catholic family K-12, and was the first kid to leave for college (a day's worth of driving from home). I know it was very emotional for both myself and my parents when I left, but I honestly don't think those emotions were very useful. We were all so worried and scared about what it would be like, if I would be successful in college/away from home, how we would manage the transition, that we didn't see what was really happening: we were changing from a family of kids + parents to one of adults + parents. We didn't establish solid patterns of communication (I think in an effort to help me "fly," my parents' attitude was basically "call if you need us, don't call if you don't") and to be honest, my relationship with my family isn't as close as I would like it to be right now. Maybe this is mostly my fault, I'm not sure…but I do know that growing up, I heard a LOT about the importance of family, but the vision of family life was always that of one home of parents and children. I think instead of focusing on what will be ending when your oldest goes to college, it would be helpful to try to imagine what this new version of your family should look like, and figure out how you can try to make that happen.
I hope that is helpful!
You just dont know what it is like until you go through it. It was harder then I thought. But, like I said before, every person is so different. I always loved having my kids at home. Just love'em and save up money for the care packages. Cookies and treats cost a zillion dollars to mail!