Read this thought-provoking post by Melissa Wiley…
And then read its comments…
And then tell me why you think this is: People don’t (in general) congregate at blogs anymore. They are (most of them) all hanging out at Facebook! I’m feeling the pinch, I’ll tell you that. I post at Facebook for this very reason; I get instant feedback from family and friends.
But there are many of you (who have blogs of your own) that I really and truly sorely miss. We began this journey together. Is it a sign of the times that we’re moving on? A technological inevitability?
Or is it just that we are just TOO busy and like the convenience of clicking “like” ?
Google Reader closing really hurt blogging, imo. And Pinterest. Not so much the site but everyone trying to make everything pinable. It just killed the authenticity. As did sponsorships. There are blogs I used to like that now feel like a Tupperware party. Which, OK! I like Tupperware but I hate the phony sales pitches.
You will note, however, that I didn't include a captioned photo. 😉
Thank you for commenting, dearest Jenn. You get this post, I reckon?
ha, ha! However will I pin this? I do get you. I'm having trouble finding the time to read much less write. It's all worth it because I have a baby in my lap most of the day but I feel like Google Reader had things so streamlined and now it's not.
I love Pinterest! BUT…seriously not every blog post needs to have a captioned photo with the fancy writing that one can sense was purposely made so that it would be "pinable". So, yeah, I agree with Jennifer, the "trying to make everything pinable" is annoying (to me) and I don't think I have ever actually pinned any one of those posts!
(And in all honestly, one or two posts here and there is fine – so I am not entirely anti-pinterest, because again, I do like pinterest. But some bloggers seem to do it for every one of their posts and it has gotten old. And yes the comment about Tupperware, love it!! 🙂
But back to your question at hand. Yes, I think more and more people are moving to Facebook because of the convenience of the "like", and more than anything, commenting on a blog from a smart phone (which I think is a big contributor to the decline in comments) is not very convenient and people gravitate towards what is easiest. However, I continue to blog because it is basically my scrapbook / baby book / record of our life and one day I hope to get into hard copy and have something my daughter can look through. Otherwise, when she asks for her "baby book", I would have to hand my head in shame. 🙂 I also have met so many people through blogging and have stayed very connected with them on the blogs and on Facebook, so to me it doesn't matter where we connect, but I like blogging more I think because it allows for longer posts and frankly less controversy. Facebook seems to be a lot more drama in my experience.
Also, remember my dear Margaret – your blog really was the tipping point that got me into this whole thing and I couldn't be more happy that you did! This question ended up leading me to start my own blog a few months later and tt has been so much fun for me. My life and my family's life has been immeasurably blessed by the relationships I have made through blogging.
http://patentsgirl.blogspot.com/2009/01/calling-all-young-professional-catholic.html
I like Pinterest too, Marie, (esp. your preschool boards!) but I have to keep a close eye on my time over there. Facebook, too, for that matter, is a love/hate relationship because of its potential to be a time-suck.
But that's ME. This is (one of) my big areas for spiritual growth.
And thank you for the reminder about that Young Professional Catholics post!! I had forgotten all about that one and yet, omgosh, you guys (and gals) are so SO important to the Church. ♥
It is so much easier to post a thought or two on Facebook than to think of a whole blog post. And then, I fell out of the habit of blogging. I'm trying to revive at least one of my blogs though – we'll see if I manage to post more than once in a blue moon. I made so many friends through my blog though – and at least most of them are on Facebook so the connection remains.
I don't know, Christine–I see (from Facebook) that you're spending your extra time on re-learning to run and that you're feeling great as a result. Go you! We only have so much free time. That's why these "extras" must always be extra.
The connections we make, though, through blogging & FB? They are a big BIG part of the New Evangelization, I think, and plus it just feels good to have friends reach out. You've been great at that and I thank you! ♥
Aw, thank you, Margaret! I tell you what, that conversation has given me a renewed determination to comment on the blogs I read.
The photo thing does get in my way sometimes. I'm not thinking about Pinterest but it seems all the sharing platforms prioritize images now. Facebook, Feedly, etc–very different platforms with different functions, but there's always that giant image there next to the link–and I'm affected by it as much as anyway. When someone posts a link on FB and there isn't an image, my eye tends to slide right by. I hate that!
Jenn, I wonder if I will EVER stop mourning Google Reader. But once I got Feedly customized to my satisfaction, I have to say it fills the gReader gap pretty well. I love how easy it is to save posts to Evernote. But you really have to tinker with the settings to get it just right. I have some folders set to thumbnails and some to whole posts, etc.
To me the funniest side effect of FB on blogging is the way people will click through from FB to read a post on your blog–and then go BACK to FB to comment. I think FB comments feel less intimidating to people.
That's funny to me, too, Lissa! (The clicking over to the post, but then commenting on FB.) I try to make my comment box easy — no moderation on new comments, only on posts older than two weeks. That keeps spam to a minimum, and keeps commenting easy.
I remember a post I wrote two or three years ago about Facebook being like a swingset in everyone's backyard, and that I was missing the days when we all used to congregate at the park called The Blogosphere. 🙂
I have clicked through a FB link to a post and come back to comment on FB and that is primarily because the conversation tends to be better on FB where there are no anonymous posters and usually no trolls. I don’t have time for other people’s rants and nonsense so to the extent I have something to say, it is more appealing to say it where I am not as likely to see the conversation spiral into hate-filled stupidity.
That's funny, Lissa, because I thought about including a nice big pic with this post, and thought, "Bah! I can get by without one."
I do like me a nice big pix (or two) (or three) (or eight) but that's me. My photos have become a part of my story-telling, and I love love to include them, but then there are writers like you whose words drive the story. Omgoodness, the pictures you paint with your beautiful words! This is not to say that I don't love your photos, especially the ones of your little blonde pixies. And that bubble? PERFECT accompaniment to your "Facebugged" post.
Anyway. It's been a great discussion so far and one that anthropologically (I love you, Sarah E! ) will make a difference, I think.
Oh Google Reader, how I lament thy passing!
I don't think there's any particular platform which is to blame for the diminishment of the blogging/commenting community (except maybe the smartphone. I don't have one so I hadn't considered that.) I think it is a complicated issue. I could perhaps write a whole book on the subject of blogging anthropology! It fascinates me. So I have no simple answers for you, mainly because when I started writing down what I think are the answers it turned into a monumental screed. I'm fairly sure you don't want that!
Which can go partly towards a point I would make : on Facebook and Twitter, one's brief notes don't really matter much. They're more private on FB and disappear quickly in the Twitter feed. But this comment has taken me at least ten minutes to compose. I've even been diverted to writing an email in the middle of composing it! Partly because that's what I wanted to say was complex, but also partly because I'm aware of how public this comment is. I want to get it right.
Then again, I have an anonymous "like" button on my blog, but few people use it. I have a friend who says the same thing about hers. So I don't think its about people being lazy or preferring what's easy. Instead, I think … oops, okay, the screed is starting again. I'll stop!
I personally believe it's good manners to comment on posts one has read, even if it's just a quick note to say thanks. But even with that attitude, I still find it hard myself. There are lots of factors that come in to play around not being able to comment every time. I always keep in mind what a certain someone told me, years ago – that they read blogs while nursing their baby, and it was almost impossible to type a comment with a sleeping child in their arms. I loved that 🙂
🙂
That armful-of-nursing-baby IS a beautiful image, isn't it? There are dozens of reasons why people don't comment–lack of time & convenience being a the top of the list–but I do think, as you've said, that it's good etiquette to leave one now & then.
Actually, it goes beyond good etiquette. A kind comment can make a person's day because all of sudden, we're not writing for ourselves. We've made a connection. We feel God's love in action.
Love you, my dear! ♥
Three issues for me – time, iPsd and Feedly. Time both to blog and to comment. I am cramming this comment into five minutes before I have to go out. Then I almost always read blogs on the iPad which I find is not comment friendly, If I go back to correct a typo the comment seizes up until I close and reopen the keyboard (so apologies for any typos I don't have time to sort!). Actuallly getting the comments to post seems less reliable on the iPad too. And finally Feedly, which I am happy with as a reader, but I only see comments if I click through to the website. It is the easiest way to read, but i miss the full blogging experience of reading comment threads, seeing the blog layout and the other "stuff" – links and so on – but then it comes back to time again.
I was thinking about this some more and realized another reason I stopped blogging quite so much is that my kids got older. When they were little I could write about the cute things they did, but they are teens now, and online, and don't really want me over-sharing.
Right off the bat I need to say I'm not on FB. I had an account for less than a year and I had to get away from it. It was all so…I don't know — impersonal, shallow, unfriendly? I'm not sure I am adequately describing how I felt. Sort of like walking past someone's house at night and looking in the windows. Blogging is like stopping in for a visit, even if it's just a daylight walk past the house and saying high to you on your front porch, but more like coming in for a cup of coffee.
I recently found out my niece had given birth to her twin girls when my son texted me — he had seen the photos on FB before even my mother had received a call that her great granddaughters were born. My mom doesn't even have a computer, so if she hadn't texted (she does that!) my sister-in-law, I'm not sure when she would have found out. That's just a slap in the face, albeit unintentional.
This past weekend, I was at a family reunion and I found out that my cousin had become a grandma for the first time, but more than ten days after the baby was born, and which I would probably not have heard for months or years if we had not been at a reunion (boy, isn't that an old-fashioned thing!) because I'm not on FB. People, and we all have each other's email addresses so it's really not too difficult, can't even manage a group email to send news. Nope, if you're not on FB you just don't matter.
Doug and I were commenting (not lamenting, just commenting) to each other (IRL not on any technological device) that we are dinosaurs because we refuse to use FB. We are officially out of the loop. But, we just don't mind very much.
My oldest son, who is now working in the real world in IT left FB three years ago because it was so manipulated. He could see it then and despises it's "fakeness." I decided if my twenty something kid could ignore it, I certainly could. People know they are being used by FB but don't mind, or need affirmation so much that they are willing to pay the price (and the price is YOU if you use it), then there is nothing I can do about that. If people will read your blog and then go back to FB to comment, it's because they need other people — all your friends, not just those who would scroll to the bottom of the combox to see what's there — to see their comment.
I guess I'm just old-fashioned. I don't usually read other people's comments on other blogs, not because I don't care, but reading other comments left for you feels like reading your mail. And I think that's part of what bothered me at FB. I felt like I was invading your privacy all the time. I leave a comment for YOU. I don't really mind if others see them, obviously because it's out here for anyone to read, but I wrote it for you, not for anyone else. I am not seeking affirmation in my comment. When I comment on a blog post it's usually because I want you to know I stopped by and I want to spend some time with you. It's not exactly a gift, but it is a pat on the back of sorts. You are my friend and I want you to know that I think enough of you to stop and give you a little virtual hug. No "like" button on FB will ever do that.
Sorry I wrote a post in your combox. 😉
PS I know many people lament the loss of google reader, but I actually think that had a great deal to do with the decline in comments. Many people just read blogs in the reader and didn't bother clicking over — once again, a glance in a lit window from the night.
I think by using readers we accumulate too many blog friends and no longer have time to stop and chat. Fewer, deeper friendships is the way I have always been and always will be. I never did want to be popular. 🙂
I get the facebook thing…but IT IS SO TRUE about the youngsters…I am an oldster…and that they communicate with family this way. My cousin got engaged…found out on facebook. I like it only because I have relatives all over the US and I get to see pictures of my cousins babies. I like the pictures!!
I'm going to reply to this because I REALLY need to but I've been trying for almost 30 minutes to get it right. Unfortunately commenting on blogs with a smartphone is extremely difficult because of editing issues. You have to pop in and out and look cannot adjust the screen or the whole thing freezes up. That all being said I think it is extremely insulting to say that those of us that comment on FB and not directly on blogs are just wanting others to see what we are saying. I have been on FB since 2007 and LOVE it. I went to school in OH, lived in MN and now live in FL. I can stay in touch with whomever I please. I repect your right to not be on FB but please do not assume you know why I choose to be on FB or my intentions.
Sorry Margaret, but I had to defend those of us who choose to be on FB for any reason.
I'm commenting on Barbara's comment, because I read my friends comments on other people's blogs. (like this one) because it becomes kind of a conversation then, but I don't really read other people's usually! I think that this needs to be brought up, that as with all things, balance is the key. Really, Facebook is what we make of it. It can be a tremendous tool to bring people together, to pray, to encourage, to love. Or it can be exactly the opposite. It can be political and darn right nasty, if we let it.
If it is managed in the right way, it can be good. I love it for seeing my cousins and their kiddos, for the exact things you mentioned Barbara, for new babies and good news. I like that it has brought us closer, I feel that as an adult, that even though my cousins are all across the country, I can still be close to them. I love that I can show my faith, because it is my Facebook. It is part of me and what I share. I love that I don't have to hide my kids names because the people on there all know us personally, only people I let know us personally.
Does that make sense?
I think things are changing, for the quickest way to communicate. And right now, that seems to be Facebook. I will still have a special place in my heart for blogs and the deepness they bring, the close friends I have made because of it. Truly a blessing. That is what I take with me.
Mimi, you have every right to disagree, but the only reason you give for commenting on FB rather blogs is mobile device trouble. Is that the only reason? Because it's hard to believe that everyone who comments on FB rather than on the direct blog post is doing it because of mobile devices. Blog platforms other than blogger (I think blogger is the most cumbersome for comments) are much easier to use on mobile devices.
Barbara, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Like yourself, I don't really care the "oversharing" that people do, ("This is a picture of my lunch!") but don't we all do that on our blogs sometimes? We do it because we crave connections. We NEED them because it's how we humans were made.
That sounds stuffy. Here's a real example of why I love Facebook: my family has been praying for a wonderful young father from our parish that is having surgery this morning. There is a baseball-sized tumor on his kidney, poor man! We wouldn't have known to pray if I hadn't seen his post on FB, and omgoodness, the hospital pix with his two little boys!
That's Facebook's greatest strength, I believe: its platform (millions strong) can get the word out like NOTHIN'. I know that if ever I really, really need prayers–need them fast, and need them strong–I can ask on Facebook and people will jump to the task. That's powerful. That's the Church Militant in action.
It seems like many things have changed. I miss Google Reader too; it was so convenient. I definitely have a "love/hate" relationship with Facebook and find that if I'm on it too much, I get depressed. I would rather visit blogs like yours. I don't seem to have as much time to blog either, especially as my kids enter their teens and I'm no longer homeschooling.
By the way, dittoing the lament on the loss of Google Reader, but thanking Lissa (she always finds the best stuff) for Feedly. I do use Feedly a lot, and it works pretty well.
And my blog posts are never the pretty, pinnable stuff…I'm old school and probably always will be! 🙂
I can only use my ipad due to disabilities and it is very difficult to post comments at most blogs due to the awkward interface. (I don't do FB)
I love your blog. You are a real mom with a real marriage and real kids and your humility and honesty is inspiring. Please continue.
One big thing that would make commenting on blogs a whole lot more appealing and easier for me would be to get an email or pop up or something to tell me when someone else commented or replied to me. Facebook does that. Most blogs (and that probably includes my own for my readers but I’m just not very webdesign savvy) don’t give me that option and I will try to check back but without an easy way to keep that contact of the conversation going it can get frustrating checking back to see if anyone said anything after my comment and I end up having to leave pages open on my computer just for such a purpose. FB it is all in one place and lets me know when someone has said something. Melanie’s Wine Dark Sea used to do that for me – email me when someone commented after me, but even hers doesn’t work for me like that anymore. I don’t know if there is a way I could make blogs doing that but I even the ones I have it usually requires confirming through an email that I want to get emails on a post which is just an annoying extra step.
I don't have facebook and I am not going to get it. When someone stops blogging I lose them. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU! I will be better at feed back. Sorry! -trish
Trish, you have been awesome about feedback over the years. Don't worry! I love blogging too much (the stories, the family archives, the connections with people in…I don't know…faraway places like Maine) to stop completely. : )
FB will die eventually when somebody figures out how to make money without violating their users. It will happen. First young people will use it and then their parents, etc. FB has a place. Yes, there is some inanity, and I have gotten a little ticked at status changes (2 people changing their married status to "it's complicated." wth?) But there are so many people who would never blog. Starting a blog is a much bigger deal than opening a FB account. Then you have to have a pretty blog, and change the background based on the seasons. It's not as easy as uploading a photo. It takes creativity and energy. Reading and commenting takes time and energy. Yes, it does develop deeper relationships, but I've been trying to write a coherent comment here for 2 hours and I've been fighting chores and a tot who thinks the computer belongs to him. FB is easy in/easy out. Hit the Like button so people know you touched base, but you aren't committed to typing something profound. However, as much as I think FB is a great way to follow along with people you seldom would see, I know that I would never ever have made some friends through that medium. Blogs give you a chance to lurk and figure out if you like someone before introducing yourself. Still, though, I have blog readers who did not blog and it felt very one-sided until I friended them on FB. I could get to know them better. OK. Time for George to watch a video.
Well, Margaret, we seem to have found the topic that gets people to comment on blogs! 🙂
Ha! Yes indeed.
I like blogs better than FB so I comment on them more than I interact on FB. But. I'm usually reading on my iPod so I don't comment as much because I hate typing on this thing! Though I love the thing in general. 🙂
And you really should keep blogging because we all love it so, and we would miss it!
I like FB for keeping family and friends on my radar and reading their witty one-liners, but read blogs if I really want to know someone better. Ditto though about mobile devices – I read blogs on Google reader so if I really want to comment I will wait until I am on the computer. Mostly though, I'd really like to taper off the screens and spend more time with people face-to-face whenever possible. I suppose I will keep blogging, but it takes so much time. My margins are not wide enough to blog regularly and I have no interest in monetizing so it hardly seems worth it. But I have at least five posts in my head I would like to get out this month!
Hi Margaret,
My name is Cheryl and I used to have two blogs called My Thoughtful Spot and My Simple Spot. I can tell you why I don't congregate at blogs anymore. I needed to let it go in order to do what I am supposed to be doing. I have happy memories of those days too. I remember the yahoo groups when I was first learning about homeschooling, then the forums where I enjoyed the fellowship of other like-minded women, and spent way too much money trying all kinds of recommended curriculum and accumulating loads of books. I started blogging in 2006, when I had four children. I loved it. When baby #5 arrived I started longing for less "stuff" and a simpler life. I did facebook for a year and let it go. I figure the people that are so important to me I can contact IRL and they can do the same for me. I do miss a lot of what goes on there in a group of my real life friends and they have to text me sometimes, but the time saved is worth it. As I simplified my possessions and tried to increase my prayer life I considered letting go of the blogs. I felt like I was not really in the present moment when I was writing blog posts in the shower, etc. I got rid of My Thoughtful Spot, but still hung onto My Simple Spot thinking I could stay in touch with people there. And we could talk about simplicity. After my first Miles Christi retreat in 2011 I got rid of My Simple Spot. The Internet was and still is my main inordinate attachment. I let the blogging and reading blogs and commenting on them go. I still struggle with it of course. Occasionally I try to remember what blogs I used to read and I go see what people are up to. I now have six kids. Just writing this comment has been frustrating to me as I've been "interrupted" so many times. (Not by the teenagers who are still asleep.) So I somehow found the Read Aloud Revival and Sarah's blog. I've been enjoying her podcasts. (Which BTW I like more than blogs now because I can listen to them while I'm cleaning.) And I signed up for her newsletter Flourish. Then this month I saw you! And I remembered enjoying reading your blog in the past. You're a great writer. And very funny. So I went to your blog and saw that you just came back from a Miles Christi retreat. I'm so happy for you! So now I'm commenting on blogs again. Just for today anyway. I may be odd, but here is one perspective. This is one reason why you aren't getting as many comments anymore. I did move on. For the most part I am more peaceful. I still turn to the Internet when I want to escape my reality and put off doing the tasks at hand. I am definitely not saying this is what everyone does. It's my problem. Many people are doing God's will out here on the Internet. And I appreciate them being out here and available to me. And sometimes I come out here because I am supposed to. And this is all that matters. That we are doing God's will. I wish you well.
What a beautiful, heartfelt comment–truly a plateful of food for thought.
And I remembered you right away, Cheryl! That's the thing about this online world–we share our lives (however briefly) and become an indelible part of one another's time on this earth.
I wish you well, too! And I love you in Him. ♥
Margaret, well I finally joined Facebook a bit ago. Truly I missed out on so much without it that I wished I would have joined earlier. It is helping me be more connected with family, albeit on the surface. However, there is not any of the deeper conversation going on (at least amongst my friends) that would happen on a blog.
Reading your blog I get a feeling of being at the kitchen chatting a bit {ha, ha sometimes you are the one doing most of the talking. However, I am an introvert so that may be par for the course. :)} I guess I don't understand the idea of commenting on Facebook and not on the blog unless it is so that one's other "friends" can see and join in the conversation which they would not be doing if it was on someone's blog. Although I do not blog – the blogs I read defiantly hold a place in my heart. I have learned so much from you that I feel quite blessed to have a peak into your life and get to know you.
Ditto Sarah Mc K. Keep blogging! Cheri