…a dozen different people at any given moment–wife, mother, daughter, sister, optimist, pessimist, foodie, friend. It can be hard to know which hat to clamp on! It can be hard to find the real “me”.
That said…
I’ve found an approach for the “mom” in me (and goodness knows, I’ve got a lot of her) that seems to be kinda/sorta working out well. I thought I’d share it, since the “blogger” in me likes to be helpful sometimes.
My teens and I are reading Sean Covey. That’s it! That’s my helpful (and free) suggestion for today. I have long been a HUGE fan of Sean’s dad Stephen, and I pray to him often for help in raising my kids. (Stephen Covey died two years ago yesterday. May the dear man rest in peace.) Being me, I have not one but three of Sean Covey’s books floating around–all on loan from the local library–and we read them and talk about them one chapter at a time.
Specifically…
My teen that’s exceedingly fond of computer games? He gets an extra one (or two) for every chapter he reads. These are some long and beefy chapters! I could talk about these ideas for hours, but because he’s a teen (i.e. straining the leash trying to get away from “deep” talks), we go over the major points for ten minutes or so and then the kid is free to go.
And by “go” I mean bolt.
Baby steps, right?! With my teens, and especially my teenaged boys, I must take baby steps and trust the journey.
Oh, and one last thing! There is a wonderful poem at the start of the above book that is titled simply “The Habit Poem.” I prefer to call it “I am“ because of the refrain at the start of each stanza, but what you choose to call it doesn’t matter. Reading it does.
You can find and print a copy here.
I stuck it on my kids’ bathroom mirror. : )
You know I can relate to those teenage boys. And having raised one to the ripe old age of 24, I can see how they will soak in all that you are and do, and one day it will click. Maybe it won't all click at once, but it will, and they will come back to the trough at which they were watered, and drink. I guess what I'm saying is be what you want them to be and they will get it. "I am…" is not only what they do, it's what they live.
Oh how I know it, Barbara. Have you noticed, though, how much easier it is to focus on what's wrong with THEM rather than changing everything that's wrong with US?
I'm speaking hypothetically, of course.
Haven't read that one, but will look into it! I never corner my teens for discussions anymore. I find they're plenty willing to talk, as long as we're doing something else. So, cooking dinner? Milking cows? Weeding gardens? Prime deep-discussion time. They return the favor by cornering me while I'm changing the baby, using the toilet, moving the laundry, typing a blog post…
Oh. My. Gosh! I leave stuff taped to the bathroom mirror all the time for the kids to see.I don't feel so weird about it now. I also bought that book for my teens awhile back but wasn't sure just how to approach the reading of it. Thanks so much for the inspiration. There will be extra video games starting tomorrow. You are such an encouragement! God bless, trish