A Study in Contrasts
Today we’re taking a look at two sets of contrasts. First, the weather in Minnesota at the end of April:
I’m sorry. That whole global warning thing?
Just. Not. Feeling. It.
I’m reminded of that scene in Frog and Toad Are Friends where Frog rips the April page off Toad’s calendar. “Wake up, Toad!” Frog cries. “It’s May!”
Only it’s God at the calendar and we’re going backwards instead.
Today’s second contrast is also about seasons—seasons of motherhood, though, rather than Armageddon weather.
It’s about “having one’s hands full” when one has lots of kids. As you can see:
My hands are often empty.
(Expressing breast milk so that your daughter can “nurse”? Highly recommended, except I fear I’ve ruined this girl for the religious life.)
It’s a contradiction that people don’t always get: the more kids you have, the more help you have!
And the more help your kids give, the more love they learn.
Love is a very good thing, I find.
The world could use a fair share of it.
Yes, I’m busy, but it’s a good kind of busy. It’s like when I told my dad we were expecting Francis. I was scared to tell Dad we were expecting Francis, because I knew he and Mom were worried about me.
“But aren’t you tired at the end of the day?” he asked.
“Of course I’m tired at the end of the day!” I laughed. “Aren’t you?” He had to admit that his daughter was right and plus he sees the effect of all those babies. (He should; he and his wife had six.) He sees my sisters who, though in their fifties and sixties, are still going strong helping out with their kids’ kids…
…and he sees that the love gets multiplied, not divided.
Okay, stepping down lightly from my pulpit now. I guess all I really wanted to say is this: If you’re on the fence about having more kids…
(Yes, my daughter reads Calvin & Hobbes.)
Take a leap of faith and trust what comes.
Trust me. I speak from experience.
Related (and Highly Recommended) Reading:
It's been a cold, cold spring! Even down here in balmy Kentucky. 🙂 Our grass didn't wake up till nearly a month later than usual, but still, tonight, 36° in the prediction.
And, of course, there's never any such thing as too many babies. That's what I always tell people, anyway. It's hard to deny that one. 🙂
Love. You are so right- who exactly ISN'T tired at the end of the day? And isn't that why we call it the "end of the day" anyway? Because its time to renew for another?
That baby. Yummo.
And- scrubbing floors is highly overrated. Blogging, however, is not. 😉 especially when you do so much good in the world by sharing your perspective, which you most certainly do.
You are so right about all that love. The world would be a much better place with more babies to love. Don't you think there is a direct relationship between increasing numbers of babies aborted and decreasing numbers of happy people? I do!
SIgned,
someone who wishes there was more lovin' to multiply (can you send a baby?)
PS "Global warming" causes weather extremes. — like snow in late April. My environmental-policy-major-son educated me. I'm starting to be a believer. Now if I could just get him to start thinking about sending me some baby lovin'…
I'm down South and am lamenting this eternal Winter, I can't even imagine how you are dealing with it!
As far as the encouragement to have more kids, cheers! As my kids have grown up and the younger ones have been added, even though we'be gone through some very challenging times the love has always multiplied and all of us would say it has been not only worth it but we can't imagine life any other way – we love our big family
You know you are right and we know it. Wish the world did. Maybe one love filled family at a time will make the world so full of that love. I always think with each baby and next one up…if you are the babes, you will miss out on so much if you are the last one in our family. But then, I am reminded that because they are the youngest 6, that by the time they are teens, there will be grandchildren probably and they won't miss out at all.
That snow…so excited about this weekend that I can hardly contain myself.
Agreed. But umm…how do I put this…I am struggling with taking that leap of faith because of a different reason. We have experienced multiple miscarriages (our 4th was just last week) and the last 2 were after the heartbeat – we lost Mary at 11 weeks and this last baby – Baby A (we don't know the gender yet) was 9 weeks. Both had gloriously wonderful ultrasounds early on where we saw that beautiful flicker and then poof – just a couple weeks later, nothing…gone to Heaven and I end up in the hospital for a D&C. I am absolutely scared out of my mind right now (and yes, I know it is because the hormones are crashing and hopefully it will get better), but I just feel like we are destined to miscarry and I hate the thought of getting our hopes up again only to have them dashed. But we would love, love, love to have more children – this side of heaven.
I know you have had multiple miscarriages, how did you get over the fear and want to try again?
To make matters worse (at least in my opinion) our priest suggested that we could practice NFP to avoid perpetually – knowing that there was a high risk we would miscarry. Both my DH and I don't think that is the answer, and that would seem to be giving into fear. (And no we won't do contraception, anything like that either.) But other people have added insult to injury by asking us why we even want to try for another and that we should just be thankful that we have the one we have (and we are so very thankful and cherish every moment with her).
And just in case anyone is curious, I am not really looking for medical advice – we know all about PPVI, I have a wonderful Napro doctor here in the Twin Cities, I have carried to term once and she is the best little girl this side of heaven, I have had more progesterone shots than I can count – my husband is quite good at giving them to me!, but I have a complicated medical history – cancer survivor, etc. that we *think* is making this more difficult than most.) I say *think* because just when we figure out something – low progesterone for the 1st 2 miscarriages, we correct that – go onto have our miracle baby and then even with the progesterone corrected we are back to having miscarriages again.
Sorry for the long comment, but if you or anyone else have any advice about dealing with the fear after recurrent miscarriages, I am really interested. Thank you and God Bless!
And my DH loves Calvin & Hobbes!
The short answer, Joy, is that I didn't get over the fear. Ever. And my heart goes out to you because I don't know why we lost four in between Angela and George, and I don't know why we were given a second chance with George & Francis.
I will be taking your intentions to Mass this afternoon. If you'd like to go for coffee sometime, please let me know!
Oh, I would love to go for coffee sometime. Thank you for your prayers, I really appreciate them. I will be in touch. Can you bring Francis along as well? Pretty please? 🙂
Oh you are so very right Margaret!
Yes snow yesterday…. but on the positive the sun is shining today (or at least it was), much of the snow has melted and I heard 78 by Tuesday. At least that's what Paul D said in the Strib today. =)
And babies ~ just watched a friend of mines twin baby girls and 4 year old. Could have snuggled them all.day.long!
Your baby boy is just precious. I have seen so much love from the older kids to my Ava. Especially the oldest daughter.
snow..ick.
Oh I just loved this entry! What a precious family! I wondered if you have any counsel for a family where they are just not on the same page as to have more children. In my case, I would love, love, love many more children, but my husband feels that the number that we currently have is about his limit. I know many families where the husband and wife are not on the same page and it is so difficult. Any advice is welcome!
Those pictures of the big kids with the baby – so precious! Makes me a little more comfortable with the fact that even though I may have 20 or more years of fertility left, in a few years my oldest might actually be more of a help than a hindrance! With kids who are 3.5, 2, 5 months and 5 months, there's not a *lot* of empty-handed time here yet 🙂
I love your pictures. The love amongst your children is evident. If they are like mine, I am sure they have their moments but the bottom line is LOVE. There is 12 years from top to bottom for mine and my daughter was a huge help when they were little (all growed up now :-() and she still is the go-between with parents. The younger ones will go to her and ask "what do you think Mom will say?". She counsels them and then will give me a heads up or will ask after a few days if they did come to chat with parents.
You are right — housework is over-rated especially if there is blogging to do or babies to cuddle with.
Margaret, you know what our situation was before we had this latest little peanut (literally..peanut). Autism, multiple csections, another child with a speech delay, already had five…I was so, SO terrified of having another. Remember? And then, in the middle of charting…there she was. I cried, but then I remembered losing the one in between David and Sonja. That was grief beyond words. So, I pulled up my boot straps, and through God's grace, had my 6th, and last, section. Too much to go into, but I look back now and think…wow…if I had stayed closed off, she wouldn't be here. And she has dimples. None of the others do. And she smiles. At two weeks. All the time. My therapist called her "the miracle". And her middle name is Frances. 😉 Good post, love.
AND, totally love the fact you give bottles. I do too…because I need my hands. The 12 year old has it somewhat down…need to teach the 10 year old. Dribbling and so forth and all that milk wasted!