I am opening comments on this post because, despite my best Lenten intentions to be joyful, last night found me disheartened and discouraged.
You may blame American Idol.
And you may pity my poor husband, who had to bear the brunt of my disappointment.
It no longer matters that I have a quilting class on Tuesday evenings (starting next week) because I no longer feel that I can watch this program in good conscience—not with my children, anyway. Certainly its TV-PG rating (for dialogue) was well merited last evening.
So much for our family fun night.
I don’t know how many of my readers even watch American Idol. In fact, when I ran a giveaway in which you were asked to pick your favorite contestant, many of you admitted that you weren’t fans. It doesn’t matter. I trust you will be able to advise me in this matter.
Here’s the question: Where do we draw the line in protecting our children from the yuck of this world? It was bad enough when American Idol judge Paula Abdul complained to judge Simon Cowell that he was “trying to take her clothes off.” Even worse than that, though, was the final performance of the evening.
Contestant Alexis Grace sang Michael Jackson’s “Dirty Diana.” (Yuck.)
She wore a micro-mini skirt and unfortunately, she chose to work it.
(Double yuck.)
And finally, the very first words out of judge Kara DioGuardi’s mouth were “You are a nasty girl, Alexis, and I love you for it.” (Yuck yuck and infinite yuck.)
[For the record, I do not care for this new judge Kara. She’s pretty but the things that come out of her mouth are not.]
Throughout this last performance, I was aware of a depressing juxtaposition—that of Alexis’s beautiful little 2-year-old watching her momma from the audience (Seriously, you could see that she was saying, “Mommy!”) and that of my beautiful 8-year-old daughter, watching front-and-center on the floor in front of me.
Watching.
Listening.
Taking it all in.
I am frustrated because, as a family, we enjoy [most of] the music and we love the competitive spirit. (We disagreed about who to vote for and so we voted…four different times.) This is the only televised program we watch as a family, yet now…
…I really wonder if we should be.
Tell me, friend, what do you think? Although I think I already know the answer.
AMDG,
I hung up the hat on AI about two seasons ago. I can see how it would be fun family time – as it was for us – but folks are getting dirty (by the looks/sounds of it). Nope, time to change the channel or switch it off for game board night. Or Wii challenge (and what bothers me is that gamers complain the Wii doesn’t have games like other consoles and predict it won’t last – the games are lame etc. well, they’re family friendly). Ugh.
Mornin’ Margaret…
I feel pretty strongly about the negative influence of the media. We don’t have TV (we have a VCR and DVD player, and we play carefully chosen movies for the kids, but we get no reception out where we are, and we like it that way). We don’t listen to commercial radio or have any newspaper or magazine subscriptions, either.
Yes, kids will eventually learn about all the yuck there is out there. My 9 year-old daughter only learned recently that an ass could be something other than a donkey. But I am hoping that a few good priests who have said from the pulpit, “Throw out your TV!” are correct in their assumption that if you protect a child during its early-through-pre-teen years, you will have already formed its moral sense and given it strength to fight against “the spirit of the World.”
Many disagree, including my own dad who thinks I shelter the kids too much because I have a problem with movies that include foul language. Well, I don’t think it’s a bad thing that my daughter makes the sign of the cross or inwardly says, “Jesus, I love you” when she hears bad language or the Lord’s name abused. She isn’t jaded and that is a good thing in my opinion.
I know that TV can be an instrument of good, but that is so rarely the case. I’d sooner give it up altogether than have to sit watching and holding my breath waiting for something that will embarrass or horrify me for my children’s sake.
All in my own humble opinion…
>>>I know that TV can be an instrument of good, but that is so rarely the case. I’d sooner give it up altogether than have to sit watching and holding my breath waiting for something that will embarrass or horrify me for my children’s sake.
You’ve hit the nail on the head with that one, Nadja. That is exactly how I feel.
This is so my frustration with these reality based programs. We used to enjoy this one, and we used to watch Amazing Race with our oldest, but then they do things like have a father and son who both have an alternative lifestyle (trying to delicately state that one). It just frustrates me! Can we have one show that isn’t filled with innuendo and directly awful comments!
As far as the Wii goes (Sarah’s comment), I think part of its staying power is that they have so many family friendly games. It’s why we stay with Nintendo products rather than PS, X box, etc…
We don’t watch but, yes, Yuck!, to what you describe. Sadly, most of America does not even bat an eye. The only way to “safely” watch Idol is to record it, preview it, and fast forward through the yuck. Not much spontaneous fun there, but if you must.(If you have DVR you can pause the show for 5 to 10 minutes and then fast forward if necessary through bad parts.)
As for AI’s new judge, it just goes to show that pretty is as pretty does.
Although I think I already know the answer.
Yes, I think you do.
The older girls and I were discussing such things a few days ago, when Delaney confessed to reading a book that made her feel uncomfortable. She cried, even, knowing that something of her childhood had been lost to her forever.
I don’t think we can be too vigilant about protecting our children’s innocence. I don’t think that attitude is naive, either. The world will still sneak in around our best defences.
I am an Idol addict too, I’ll admit it. Luckily our kids were asleep by the last contestant – maybe that’s why she went last, the producers know some kids will already be asleep. (wishful thinking on my part I know).
I was very happy last week when my daughter was commenting on one of the girls – she said that dress is very pretty but much too short. She is only 4, but it still made me happy.
My husband and I really dislike the new judge and have found this season more scandalous – some of the jokes and comments of the judges. But my guess is we’ll continue to watch, at least for a little while.
Hey Margaret – I must confess to have never seeing one episode of AI, no, not one. The whole idea of an “American Idol” being a singer rather than someone like Mother Teresa goes aganist the grain. I am also trying to figure out why my local news cast on Wednesday mornings feel they must relate what happened the previous evening on AI, as if this was newsworthy, go figure. Other than turning the tube off, I have no suggestions. My gosh, I get embarrassed at some commercials.
On another note – I was so glad to see your quilt blocks. Boy are they good for a newbie! The brown and yellow block is gorgeous!!!!! Way to go girl ~~~
Margaret…we don’t watch it, but, I know lot’s of people who do. Now, with that being said…there are movies that we have watched that really are not meant for children but we’ve let them watch anyway. Things like Harry Potter, Pirates of the Carr., and some others. It’s a hard balance really. Except…the shows aren’t the only bad thing going on!! Have you noticed some of the commercials lately???? Gardisil…birth control (with sychronized swimmers, no less!!). I mean, it’s very difficult. My advice (though you didn’t ask for any) is just to slowly, ever so slowly…lessen the time on tv until…poof…you don’t really need it anymore.
Well…that’s my two cents!
Thank goodness for Jedi’s birthday, we missed a lot, until we got home and caught the last 20 minutes. (Jedi was putting together new Star Wars Lego sets) I did NOT like the last gals choice of songs either. The only ones who seem to end up watching is me and my 6 1/2 year old, and yes she takes it all in, we did talk about the yucky song and the yucky clothes, it was actually very very short shorts, I was looking. (which is not better)
Maybe your quilting class is much more of a blessing than you think. I’ve actually liked when we miss the Tuesday night shows and catch the Wednesday night results show, it’s basically a re-cap.
It’s the only prime time show we watch (I watch Lost, usually on the computer later) Idol gets to be too drug out and long and it loses us until the last few contestants, if they are good ones. Maybe we will only watch the re-cap results show, shorter and none of the nasty comments from judges.
I have to be honest here, since you haven’t gotten any Idol fans to comment yet.
Another thing to pray about, if you don’t watch, you don’t get it, how it sucks you in. (“it” is the media, the show itself)
It’s wierd, to even to be discussing it, isn’t it Margaret? We should just shut it off.
I chose to not have TV for about 7 years, before marriage, and during the first 5 years, until 9/11 and then for the sake of “knowing what’s happening” it was brought back in. But not like before. and not that often. But we wait for American Idol to start in January.
Where the kids hear “Bleep”!
When we were younger it was Madonna and “Like a Vigin” wearing her rosaries and not being appropriate in her videos.
“Grease” was much worse than “High School Musical” which is actually very clean and “G” rated.
There’s always something, isn’t there?
I see by the time my comment was done, you got Christine to comment and she is a fan too….
Nope…don’t watch it, nor any commercial-ridden television programming…
We have a TV, but don’t have cable. From bad programming to bad commercials, there seem to be few redeeming qualities in watching. We have access to PBS, an extensive video collection, the library and a Netflix subscription.
Recently, hubby and I have become fascinated by the show LOST. We’ve begun watching it from the beginning, using our Netflix subscription and ABC.com as access points. I’ve been amazed, thus far (we’re only in season 2) by the incredible Catholic content of this crazy adventure. It’s not a show for children, but it has many redeeming qualities. We recently discovered that the executive producer is a devout Catholic…how cool is that? And that the “Catholic flavor” is intentional!
I’m sure there are a few more decent shows out there, but we just don’t make the effort, and during Lent we don’t watch TV, videos or play video games.
We’ve experienced the inevitable criticism that we’re sheltering our children too much, that they need a taste of the “real world,” to which I’d like to say:
The United States Navy doesn’t build a battleship in the middle of the ocean, during a storm. Battleships are built in a dry dock, on sunny days…
Our home is the dry dock for our children…there’s more than enough time for them to experience the “real world.”
Ask my 19 year old…and my 23 year old…any my 27 yr. old.
Bless you, Margaret!! You are really tackling some tough issues this week…I thank you for helping me to remember why it is that we do the things we do…the pressure to cave in is always there…
“It’s weird to even be discussing it, isn’t it?”
That’s the thing, Jamie. Very few of us are able to live a perfect, cloistered life. We are called to be in the world, not of it, and our approach (as in, my husband’s and mine) has always been to discuss the gunk rather than deny it…
…because it won’t be all that long before these kids are going off to college.
I’d like to offer my children limited exposure to some of this secular entertainment. Granted, Gregorian chant elevates the spirit to a much higher level–but we’re not going to hear chant, for example, at my nephew’s wedding dance!
And that’s okay.
BTW, I meant Wii is great for families (like ours, we love it). I didn’t state that very clearly perhaps?
Let me preface this by saying that I was a daycare kid before I started school, a public school kid all during school, a latch key kid from the age of 10 and a Theater major in college. I am well aware of the gunk and have been for a long time. Ok, here’s my opinion:
You are right, we can’t live completely protected from the world, but I am not about to let the world determine when my children should be exposed to the gunk. I know that puts a lot of burden on parents but I think it is important to send a solid message to your children; that some stuff can be tolerated when you are old enough to understand what’s wrong with it and not get sucked into it. Otherwise, while the children are not really old enough to understand or fully comprehend what is wrong with the gunk they are being exposed to it over and over which means that it will become a part of their world, something comfortable and familiar.
I love television like any child of the 80’s does. It is popcorn for the brain when the day is done and sometimes a great way to unwind. I enjoy watching Dancing With The Stars since ballroom dancing used to be a passion of mine, but I watch it online, after the kids are in bed. If there is a dance that contains modest costumes and no sexual innuendo, I might cue it up and let them watch just that dance the next day. I don’t see that happening much this season because:
1. I can’t stand some of the contestants already. The first dancer dedicated her dance to her girlfriends in the women’s penitentiary!
2. I don;t kow any of these people! I only recognized Belinda and the gymnast before the show started and I’m just not that into them.
My kids don’t watch anything running on TV that isn’t on PBSkids or qubo. And they mute the commercials. Some sporting events too but ALWAYS with a grownup ready to not just mute the commercials but flip to a safe channel until the game is back on. Sunday night football commercials can range anywhere from disgusting to horrifying. And movies ALWAYS get previewed unless I have done enough thorough research to convince me otherwise.
I know it sounds like I am keeping them locked in a closet, but like I said. I’m their mother and I will determine the time line that their introduction to the things of this world follows, thank you very much Mr. Time Warner!
yeah, last night was quite an eye opener…but the one that caught my attention, was the contestant who was defending her “dark” clothing and said “its not like I’m cutting or anything”
Oh my, did you really just say that? Paula was shown doing the zip your lip gesture.
I may have to reconsider watching this show anymore. Yikes.
My hubby and I watch it, but our children are not allowed (minus the occasional song here or there). I would be quite content without t.v. at all, but my hubby likes it much more than I do and I admit that as long as we have it, I do indulge. However, we only watch with tivo. I refuse to allow my kiddos to watch commercials and with any programming, I skip parts that I don’t want them to see.
They also know that they are only allowed to watch programs that have been taped (Clifford, Electric Company, and Star Wars are taping right now). If they do not fast forward commercials, then they don’t get to watch and they know that rule.
I don’t know if this helps you at all, but that’s what we chose to do. And, in my humble, mosest opinion, there are better “family” shows out there to watch together. I’m not sure what they are exactly 😉 but I’m sure there are better than AI.
I have watched American Idol, but I’m not drawn to it. I do watch LOST with my husband.
Our kids haven’t ever been allowed to watch ‘prime time’ TV – I just haven’t felt there’s anything worth while for them to watch. Even the ‘family hours’ between 5-8pm don’t carry shows that I would consider. I have let the kids watch ‘The Suite Life of Zach and Cody’, but only very occaisionaly. There are a few pre-school PBS shows that I like, but you still have to be watchful. Movies are easier because we can review them and there are no commercials – although you still need to watch out for previews!
The word “Idol” in the title of that show makes me uncomfortable.
Perhaps it’s not for everyone, but I can honestly say the best choice we’ve made for our family was to throw out our TV. We did it five years ago.
That said, we do watch some shows on Netflix instant viewer, but they’re not flooded with commercials. And my husband every fall watches his college football games at a local pub. Sometimes we girls join him for a burger and watch the game too!
My daughter and husband watch the show together. I am not comfortable with because of the fashions and semi-suggestive tone. The first and only time my daughter used the word s*xy was right after that show. It was horrifying to me. The commercials are also offensive. I try so hard to shield her from this stuff. She’s sort of lost interest this season, for which I am grateful.
So the better question for me is ‘What do you do when you and your spouse differ on what you think is appropriate television?’ For example! My husband just turned on “Iron Man” to watch with the children. Is that OK? I don’t know. Grrr.
Uh OH—more then one Christine’s out there…I will sign Kissteen because an adorable little sweety called me that.
Jamie…not a fan at our house. We did watch TV though last night and it was “How its Made” on Discovery. I learned about canoes and goat cheese.
Every family is different. I do not get down on families who do watch it, however, if it doesn’t sit right in your heart…well hit that off button.
love and prayers
KISSTEEN
We went through the same thing with Dancing With the Stars a few years back. The kids and I watched one season (I think one of the first), then after that costumes became waaaaay too skimpy and dances too suggestive. I told the boys that we were no longer going to watch it as a family anymore for those reasons and they accepted it. My eldest was exposed to some pornography at a very early age –on a deck of cards that was tucked in a basket of toys at his GRANDPARENTS house-ug!– so he totally understands that once you see, or hear certain things they have done their damage.
Like many other mommas here, I choose how and when my children will be exposed to these types of things to the extent possible, and use unavoidable situations as teaching moments–ie. Posters on Metro trains, half naked stickers on the back of trucks, GARGANTUAN posters in Times Square etc.
I second Jennie C.’s thoughts:
“I don’t think we can be too vigilant about protecting our children’s innocence. I don’t think that attitude is naive, either. The world will still sneak in around our best defenses.”
Last year my husband and I really debated about getting rid of TV, but we never did. Summer came and we ALL wanted to watch The Olympics, and then came fall and my husband’s love for Sunday football. I know that I caved.
I do watch AI (with my husband). We TIVO it and watch it later (after the kids go to bed). It used to be a family show for us, but in the last 2 years, our weekdays seem filled with daily swim team afterschool and the dinner/homework craziness. We’ve come to the point where TV at night during the school week is off limits. There is just too much to do and TV is a distraction.
I’m always curious if as parents we find ourselves having different opinions about TV and what is okay to watch. I know in my case, I tend to be way more conservative than my husband. While we agree on so much, he can be much more lax in letting our girls see more than they should.
I’ve never watched the show. But just the things I’ve heard about it make me say no way, not my kids, not ever.
We’ve gone to no TV at our house. It was a bit of an adjustment at first but now we don’t even miss it.
Margaret, I completely agree with you, and was going to add a 3rd comment saying it, but you said it so much better! (and here I am again doing it anyway!) Hey you’ve deprived me of comments too! 🙂
I think it actually brings up great topics for discussion, and I’m right there to talk about it with them. I think it kind of shows how contrasting their lives are (Hollywood) and how far from reality they really are, and I think we see that when we watch!
Jennifer,
My husband and I are mostly on the same page when it comes to what we allow and what we don’t but on those rare occasions when we are not, the battle goes to the one who has the strongest feelings about the subject. In other words, if you were to talk to your husband about how you feel when he shows the kids these things and how you feel when you hear your daughter use the word s*xy, would he really be able to come back and tell you that he feels just as strongly that there is good derived from these shows? Or is it a case of it not being convenient to wait until a time when the children aren’t around? Especially out of respect for the other spouse’s feelings, I would think that the one who is inconvenienced would realize that they don’t have as much invested in the disagreement.
This a such a tough one, isn’t it?
I have raised my kids (ages 19, 9, 6) screen-free, for the most part.
My eldest lives at home and has a tv (the only one in the house) in his bedroom.
Last winter I and my then 5 year old were very ill. All winter. We needed something and, oddly enough, it was Dancing with the Stars which caught my eye. We all loved it. I would tape it and then fast forward through the ads and the occasional icky bits. We watched two seasons that way.
But now everything is digital, and our vcr won’t talk to the converter box, so we watched it live the other night, and even though I muted the ads and the kids turned their backs …
The problem was that one of the contestants — and here I am finally getting to the point! — is a, um, adult magazine model. And that was explicitly stated. It went over my kids’ heads, but still … But still.
It’s very frustrating.
So I don’t really have any answers, but I empathize!
My almost 12 yr old dd watches AI, pretty faithfully. I'll tune in to watch the finals with her. I allow her to watch it because she and her friends talk about it the next day at school and in her world, it's important. I look at it as "water cooler talk". When I worked on Wall Street we always chit chatted about the shows on tv that we watched. It was a social thing.
I have a more lenient approach to the world than some of you here. My children attend public school and are exposed to people of different faiths (mostly Jewish, Indian and Japanese). That's our reality here. I can limit (and do) their exposure to shows & movies that I don't approve of, and music that I don't care for. I'm frank with my kids if we see something together that I don't approve of, I let them know.
I would never give up tv because "Coming Home" by Marcus Grodi changed my life. I also don't think I could live without HGTV.
Jennifer
I happened on five minutes of last night’s show that my fourteen year old was watching.The whole thing seemed like an exercise in lust and concupiscence. My daughter was visibly uncomfortable watching in my presence – a good indicator that it is not good wholesome family entertainment.
Hey Margaret! I am an american idol fan. I enjoy the show but i agree with you that it is way too much for little people.. I think we may just need to face it that there is not much on TV that is good shows for the whole family. Unless we have watched it ourselves first. Some of your kids may be ‘old’ enough to see the wrong vs. right but maybe not. That is my opinnion, if you want to make it a family show and your kids really want to watch it too, why not tape it? you can FF through those awful commercials and FF through the nasty comments or songs. Just an idea! God bless, Mary
oh, BTW- who do you think will get booted off tonight? I think Lil Rounds AND Megan Corkrey… who do you think???
It was with some regret that our family also decided to switch off American Idol. It’s so sad that so many of the female contestants think they have to be so…….immodest….to be popular. It’s become one more show in a long list of what you’d think would be innocent tv (Dancing with the Stars, and Deal or No Deal for example)that we no longer watch because of immodesty.
There is definitely a “yuck” factor about much on TV. We have TIVO and use that to monitor/FF shows, especially through the commercials. We don’t watch AI, but as a family do watch “The Biggest Loser” and “Good Eats”. My husband is a big foodie!
My children will watch some cartoon shows like “Avatar”.
We don’t like the Disney channel. Too many shows where the parents are treated like idiots.
I have seen my son turn the channel to protect his younger sister from immodest clothing/talk(Can we say “The George Lopez Show”!)
I stopped watching AI about two seasons ago, but then again I was never a big fan. I only watched it because my son was a fan, and he has no interest in it anymore. In fact the only channels I ever watch are Hallmark, Veria (a wellness channel) and the Food Network. Call me a weirdo, but that’s the truth.
Hi!
I think it’s a positive thing that so many here are willing to reevaluate TV choices on a regular basis. I think it’s much better than our culture’s default mode, which is to let children watch whatever’s on TV. I wrote about this here:
http://tinyurl.com/b82m2v
The thing about shows like American Idol is that they really are aimed at adult audiences. We don’t watch the show, but there are other programs my husband and I watch that we’ve told our children, from the time they were very small, are “grown-up TV.” When they got old enough to ask what that meant, I explained that sometimes the shows tackle adult themes or subject matter. Adults can be critical of these themes, can appreciate what does coincide with our faith while rejecting what does not, and can distance themselves from the material; children tend to view passively, uncritically, and are much more impacted by moments of immodesty or language than adults (who, sadly, have already encountered these things) will be.
Moreover, as adults we take the moral responsibility for what we view; while it can be easy to get “caught up” in a program, we are less likely than children to be motivated by the kind of curiosity that won’t let us turn something off. As adults we know if a show has crossed too many boundaries or if there isn’t enough redeeming material to make it worth continuing to watch, and we can tune out and walk away much more easily than children can.
I respect those who think that these shows provide material for family discussion, but if your children are not in the world (we homeschool, for instance) and do not usually encounter these disturbing elements of language, immodest fashion, casual violence etc. then there is no real benefit, in my opinion, to be gained by exposing them to these things on TV for the purposes of discussion.
Is this sheltering? Yes, to a certain extent. But I think children under 12 or so ought to be sheltered from these things. Between the ages of 12 and 16 children will begin acquiring some of that “worldly” knowledge, and I think they’re in a much better position to be able to navigate its dangers if they *haven’t* been exposed to too much of it before then.
As for the specific question about children watching “Iron Man,” I have to ask: isn’t anybody out there bothered by the totally egregious and meaningless but fairly graphic sex scene that takes place early on in this film? I know more kids (mostly boys) whose parents have let them see this one, and while the comic-book violence might not be a problem for boys of a certain age, the sex scene most decidedly is!
Not an Idol fan, but something tells me that the new judge was brought in to assure viewers – balance out the number of male and female judges.
I always thought that the early rounds were too humiliating to some of the contestants and I just couldn’t watch.
I agree that the “yuck factor” is getting higher and higher.
I am a TV junkie, always have been, and it’s something I am really trying hard to figure out. I have a very hard time with quiet, so TV is noise, but most of the time, what’s going in my ears. Sounds like a post to me. 🙂
My hubby is looking into a freeware program called boxie that turns your computer into your own TV station, so you can pick and choose your programs. No, or very few, commercials and you pick your programming. Since I have a very tech-savy hubby and we have random extra computers around, we are thinking of completely canceling cable and just using that.
Anywho, I am trying to figure this out. I love AI and lots of other shows, but I think God is trying to get more of my time.
I am a fan of American Idol and Dancing with the Stars…and a huge fan of my DVR. I usually watch after the kids are in bed. I agree that the judges comments on AI are often not family friendly and many of the songs are not either.
The closest we come to a family tv show is watching Food Network Challenge cake decorating challenges.
Red Cardigan: It was my husband who put on Iron Man. I have never seen it and knew nothing about the scene you mentioned. Again (and this is off topic) but that’s where the trouble with TV lies here. My husband is just more thoughtless about the little eyes in the room. I just used that as an example on how much we differ on what is appropriate viewing. And I most certainly will be asking him about said scene when he returns. Fortunately my children drifted out of the room when he put it on.
But (am boy am I getting even more off topic!) I have to also be very respectful in the way that I disagree with him on this and try to hold my tongue more often than not.
Charlotte, thanks for responding. Your comments were helpful.
For us, DVR has been a wonderful tool to control TV viewing. In our house, TV is/was never just “on.” Except for treats or sick days (like this week), the kids don’t watch TV during the school week at all. Friday night is almost always Family Movie night and we all watch something together (from one of our own DVDs or something we’ve requested through Netflix).
Even when our kids do watch TV, it is almost always something we have recorded on the DVR. This way, they don’t have to pick from whatever happens to be on at that time, and instead they can watch something they really like and that we are OK with them watching. We’re moving out of the PBS kids for the most part, but they have some cartoons they watch (superheroes for ds) and they both like science and mystery shows. My son is also getting older and interested in some of the history documentaries. But this works out well for us — the time they do spend on TV is already “OK” with us and they know to skip commercials. We don’t want too many TV shows as a family (more DVDs), but we also like Good Eats and some of the other Food Network shows.
As Red Cardigan said, the kids know that the other shows on the DVR are grown-up shows and we watch them after the kids are in bed. This way, we don’t have to worry about the “yuck” surprises.
I’m so glad we can talk about this. My kids know that lots of other people watch things that we don’t choose to or want them to watch. We have been accused of being too protective (even by family members), but honestly our kids are usually happier with their choices here!
Well, we have been AI fans for several years. We skip the early rounds because I find them degrading. My husband and I have enjoyed watching the talent develop through the last stages. This year, it really seems different. We’ve been turning off the commercials for the past few years, but now I think we’ll have to abandon watching altogether. Too bad. There isn’t much to watch these days. Thank goodness for netflix and the like. And, Margaret, I felt the same way you did watching that sweet little girl in the audience… it was a bit disturbing.
Jennifer: just to clarify, I didn’t think you knew about that scene since you asked whether the movie was appropriate for children. It just seems to be one of those films that gets talked about as a “family favorite” type of thing. There have been other movies marketed toward families and family viewing that are shockingly inappropriate for young viewers, too–it’s weird how this happens.
My husband and I watched “Iron Man” after we’d heard that some young friends had seen it, and had asked our kids if they planned to watch it. Don’t get me wrong, for an adult this isn’t a terrible film, and isn’t a bad representation of the comic-book genre (and you can always fast-forward that one scene), but I can’t imagine my girls seeing it at this point in their lives (and the oldest is 13).
I understand the need to be sensitive to a husband’s opinion, too–they’re the head of the household, and sometimes our natural impulse is to be *too* restrictive which can create all sorts of “forbidden fruit” moments, too. It can be tricky to find a good balance.
Well, I agree about all that is said here in regards to TV’s “evil”. We limit our TV exposure as well. Even more now after an incident on Wheel of Fortune. Yes, that’s right, Wheel of Fortune. That’s a family show, right? Well, the bonus round contestant turned out to be gay and ended up winning the round and his friend came onto stage, he announced him as his fiance and proceeded to kiss him on the lips! Oh my! Fortunatley, my husband was quick and clicked before the lips locked. My 8 yo asked why he called him his fiance and we had to delicately explain. My kids have always known that the word “gay” meant happy, like in the good ol’ days. Why did our world have to change the meaning of such a sweet word. Anyway, here I babble. This is my two cents worth. Thanks to all for sharing their input and to Margaret for opening it up for discussion.
Martha in SD
*sigh*
Bob’s been working super-long hours and extra-hard, and this is the show we watch together (though last year I saw enough to make it be a “not while 4yo is awake” program), and we too love it. Well, we love it except for the things you’re pointing out. I haven’t seen this episode, but something I noticed in the last few weeks, and that made me sad, was what the judges called the “dirtying up” of of Alexis Grace. I would like her more — and be more likely to purchase her music, which is what they’re after, after all, selling music — if she was NOT “dirty.” She and I have some things in common (except the singing talent!), and I LIKED her.
It makes me sad about American Idol. I stopped watching the auditions two years ago, and Bob told me (and proved to me) that they weren’t being so icky in what they were airing (i.e. making fun of people).
But you’re right. I wonder if this will be our last Idol season. I wonder, in fact, if I’ll make it through the season.
*sigh*
I ***so*** enjoy it! (well, except for those things that prick my conscience, a list that is, unfortunately, growing)
While I may occasionally tune in, I am not a regular watcher.
I have never found it to be "family" entertainment. But I don't let my kids watch any night time television because a) you never know what will pop on that screen b) they are only 5 & 6 and c) the commercials are usually worse!!
I don't think I would be happy with letting my kids of any age (except teens) watch AI. And I am a TV watcher, and we are all about balance when it comes to living in the world and not of the world. We are probably way more of a secular-influenced (and okay with that) home than most of your readers.
That's my 2 cents.
I am not a mother, at least not yet. What keeps echoing in my head, however, is the story of the frog in the water and the heat being slowly turned up, and the frog hardly noticing until it’s too late.
If it were me, I would probably take the opportunity to hop out of the water for a time – perhaps a few weeks? preferably replacing it with more intense prayer than usual – and then, when I thought that my reactions had returned to normal, try sticking a toe back in. If the water’s as hot as I thought it was, there would be my answer; if not, then perhaps try again.
I like that, as others have observed, you are willing to re-evaluate whether the water’s really OK.
Oh, and:
we used to watch Amazing Race with our oldest, but then they do things like have a father and son who both have an alternative lifestyle
Yeah…my husband loves The Amazing Race, and I enjoy it too, so we watch it together. I know the team you mean, and while they seem like nice enough guys, it seems like every episode they have to integrate their…(*cough*) commonly shared alternative lifestyle (*cough*) into their interview snippets. I’m sure part of it is selective editing on the part of the show, but it does get a little grating after a while.
You saw it.
You pointed out the questionable behaviors.
You enjoyed most of it.
I think the show is not at a point where it can be considered morally objectionable, but there are moments when I think the producers forget (or don’t care) who watches. Elementary school children love the show.
I hope all the parents are chatting through it like I”m sure you are.
Frankly, I record it and don’t start watching until 1/2 hour after it starts so I can fast forward through whatever bores or embarasses me.
This may be too much of a sidenote, but compared to the shocking content of other shows my middle school students are allowed to watch, this could be considered nothing. (But I know it really is.)
A priest said once in a homily that if the audience who watched t.v. shows from 20, 15 or even 10 years ago were to be suddenly placed in the world today and could see what was on television now that there would be an outrage.
We unplugged almost 5 years ago. I wish we had unplugged sooner.
We have no cable reception but we do have a Netflix subscription, utilize the library and have a vast home video/dvd collection.
It is important to protect our children’s minds and souls until they are age appropriate to be exposed to certain things of this world.
That being said, when we unplugged, it was hard. Our family loves watching NFL football. My older girls and I had our favorite shows that we watched together. We waited until the end of the season to disconnect the cable. That made is a little easier. Now we watch shows on DVD minus the commercials.
Can’t help you on this one. We have been TV free for 6 years and counting. One of the happiest days of my life was the day we disconnected. We play cards (bridge – gin) and take walks and have an awedsome library. We use the cable money to buy children’s books each month. Life is way better.
Leanne