As a mother, I am more than a little prone to doting on my children when they’re sick. Somehow, in my mind, their having contracted a virus means they’ve earned a reward for all their courage.
Why is this? My daughter picks up a germ from some doorknob and suddenly she’s a hero?
Don’t ask me. I just live and mother here.
This week, then, we’ve had a rather nasty eye infection making the rounds among the children. We call it the “Gloopy Eye” syndrome and Cate was the first to get it.
The drill went this way:
- Evaluate the ailment.
- Decide if it merits a trip to the pediatrician and subsequent $20.00 co-pay. (You see how it’s not just my daughter who is required to be brave.)
- Get a babysitter for the siblings, who are casting sympathetic glances at their sister whose eye is…well, I won’t go there.
- Play hangman with your daughter while you wait in the doctor’s office. You have time for four full games.
- Nod as the doctor tells you what you already know—“Your daughter has an eye infection.” Thank him and hold out your hand for the prescription.
- Go to WalMart. (Naturally.) Wait, wait and wait on their one pharmacist. Use your time wisely by picking up other essentials such as toilet paper, mulch, a diet Coke and (you knew this was coming) a cheap plastic treat for your daughter. For whatever reason, nothing makes these kids happier than a cheap plastic treat. I think it’s the cheap plastic packaging.
- Go home. Administer the first round of drops to your daughter. Tell Daughter #2 that she shouldn’t be playing with her older sister because of that contagious gloopy eye thing & all.
- Listen to Daughter #2 cry bitterly because she cannot play with her sister and that cheap plastic treat.
- Cave.
- Note Daughter #2’s gloopy eye at breakfast the following morning.
- Return to the top of this list and work your way down again.
You will be happy to know that the drops have worked wonders and my kids should be back to their normal state of non-contagion (Is that a word?) by tomorrow.
They’re troopers, too, these kids of mine! As I was about to give Felicity her first set of drops, she stopped me.
“Will my eye bleed?” she demanded.
“No,” I reassured her.
“Good,” she said, as she turned her head to me and waited.
Forewarned is forearmed, you know, and if that doesn’t work…
…try WalMart.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
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