Oh boy. I don’t—do not—even know where to begin.
Should I start with the reason that I haven’t been blogging? There are two reasons, actually—one good and one bad—and involve my meeting with a brand new spiritual director (she’s wonderful!) and my computer going kerplunk yet again.
(I am typing this post on my husband’s laptop. He’s wonderful, too, for letting me borrow completely and unabashedly take over on it.)
Or should I start with my decision to cut way back on my drinking? It was after this post (perhaps not surprisingly) prompted a concerned reader and friend to send me a link to this online quiz. Wouldn’t you know?! I had several habits that were very unhealthy.
I don’t know. There’s so much that I could write about, but since it’s a blog, what would benefit you?
How about a gratuitous picture of my two little men?
In one week, the rest of the family will be gone at camp—my husband and Jem for two weeks at Philmont, and the big kids at a camp through their schoool—and it will be just me and them. You can bet that I’ll be blogging more then. I’ll need all the support I can get.
(This is not to say that they aren’t super cute. God makes them cute because they’re so darn demanding. )
Should I talk about running? I’m falling in love with running!
(That jogging stroller cost me 10 bucks at a yard sale.)
(It was a sign from God! “Get your butt moving,” He said.)
Should I talk about what I’m {not} eating and drinking these days? Besides, you know, the booze and stuff?
(Here’s a not-so-subtle hint. I’m on Day 3 and desperately miss my Doritos.)
I don’t know! You tell me! ‘Cause it gets hard when I haven’t been blogging that much. When I do, I want to talk for hours.
Maybe you should just come for tea.
Oh, Maggie. I love your honesty. I love when you blog about real things. These are the same real things that afflict us all. We see ourselves in you. Sending love and hoping you write and tell us more. There are still a handful of us (and probably only that) that read blogs, and we are here, caring, loving and praying.
((((hugs))))
And I also love the way you write "Philmont" like we are all supposed to know what the heck that is….
I pretend I do and it's really cool to know.
Love the cute pics of your cute littles. Adorable. Keep them that way forever. I know I'm trying to keep my littles just the way they are FOREVER. It's not working.
AND I must say you look amazing. You might not think it, but YOU DO.
Love to you.
Whoops! I ran out of time to do any more links!
Philmont is an enormous ranch owned by the Boy Scouts in New Mexico. John with Joe three years ago: http://patentsgirl.blogspot.com/2011/07/reunited.html
Oh, and if it's just you and the littles, come on up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We'll have plenty of coffee and chocolate!!
You don't even have to ask twice–we're coming!
That sounded like you would not be welcome with the big kids, that's not what I meant, you'd all be welcome!!
I knew what you meant. ; )
Should we do the gardens? LOVE those gardens.
Wait, if your 5 and almost 2 year old keep you more busy when you're alone with them… does that mean it gets easier when you have older kids? 'Cause all I have is a 5 and 1.5 year old, and they keep me so busy all day. I sometimes dread what it might be like with teenagers in the house down the road AND little kids under foot…
Oh Abby, you have no IDEA how much easier it gets! Too many people make the mistake of being "done" when the kids are still really little. My teens and pre-teens are AWESOME helpers and oh my goodness, they could not love the new babies more.
I second what Margaret said about more kids, and getting bigger. I love, love my teenager and pre-teens. Honestly, they make life so much easier. And fun. My 13 year old is in an art camp this week, and I literally feel like a new mom with my younger ones lol
We are reading The Ascent right now in our Carmelite formation. And you know, as much as I love St. John of the Cross, sometimes I'm thinking to myself, "Can we speak English? I know you're saying something profound that I need to hear, but I have no idea what you're saying". Anyway, we had a wonderful, adorable Brother come to visit out little community last month. He's been a Brother forever…and he was so down to earth, funny, and wise. So when we got the part in the Ascent on "appetites" and "creatures", I said, "Okay, what exactly does that mean?" He said, "When you see those words, think 'wants'. And they are 'wants' that are disordered. You like to drink? Okay, that's not a bad thing. Wine is good. God wants us to enjoy what He's given us. But, do you WANT it, as in more than God? Because if it doesn't lead to God, your enjoyment of it, and it comes before God, and deters you on the road to God (ie, the Ascent, the top of the mountain = union with God…anything along the way that keeps you from ascending is a disordered want/appetite/creature), you need to leave it." Because I'm a deep thinker, I anaylze everything from a spiritual perspective (hence my being a Secular Carmelite), all these things you are struggling with, I see as appetites. Unless they are leading you to God, they need to go. The things IN AND OF THEMSELVES ARE NOT BAD. It's the DESIRE for them, which replaces your true and only desire for God, that is causing this distress in your heart. I think it's quiet beautiful, actually. I have to wonder if He isn't closer to you than He has been before, and this is His way and wooing you closer to Him. Except He can't get closer to you unless you have nothing keeping your heart full.
>>>He can't get closer to you unless you have nothing keeping your heart full.
That's a big part of it, Jen–such a beautiful sentiment! He has to come first. I NEED Him to come first.
This reminds me of Elizabeth Scalia's book Strange Gods, which has been so helpful to my spiritual growth this year. I find myself continuously asking myself the question now, "Am I preferring this in some way to God? Am I putting this thing before Him?" If the question is no, I can enjoy the thing in moderation and then let it go when it is appropriate. If the answer is yes, then the thing needs to go. It has been a wonderfully clarifying exercise for me.
Since you're looking for things to write about – I would be interested to know what is going on with you right now – externally, internally or both – that has precipitated a drinking issue at this particular stage of your life. Caroline
I would be happy to write a post about that, Caroline. Thank you for asking!
I love you, and would love for you to blog about whatever you want, whenever your want. 🙂 I'll be here to read it. As for your struggles, at 47, I am well aware that every single one of us has something. If you think you don't, you just don't know what it is yet. 🙂 My #1 is depression, but I've got a long list. Blessings!
I love you too, Sheila. Thank you. <3
Hi Margaret, I am so happy that you found a new spiritual director. That would be such a blessing. I can lament with you about loosing the big kids. My oldest three are at church camp this week (only during the day however) and my two little guys were lost today without them. Oh and say, my everyday diet is about like yours because of mine and my baby's allegies/intolerences (except I eat sugar but we can't do nuts). One thing that helps me get through is to keep something really tasty in the fridge that I CAN have for snacks – I do vegi's sautéed with bacon or avocado or such. You can do it!!! 🙂
Sanguis Christi, inebria me! Rejoicing with gladness that the good Lord is leading you to a peaceful and healthy place. May the blood of Christ inebriate your soul. Continued prayers assured.
It's so good to read from you and hear about the road to happiness and health your are journeying on. Good for you! I'm knee deep in the toddler tornadoes and an almost constant state of unsettled. In my home and in my heart. It's a season and I understand that for sure. It's just a little tougher right now because there are so many demands of me (you totally get that I know) and drudging through a spiritual desert currently.
I'll read whatever you write about, you know I will. 🙂