Vol. XXIX for Me
(The “What I’m Doing while I Wait” Edition)
What am I doing while I wait? I’m blogging, that’s what! How obvious.
I’m also, obviously, struggling with sarcasm. Okay. How’s this for some humility? I am praying asmuchaspossible for the grace that I need to go epidural-free. Pray for me too, okay? I’ll need it! One source of encouragement is that, for the first time ever, I will be delivering at a hospital that offers the option of a water birth, provided you don’t have any health-related impediments like Hepatitis-C or Group B Strep.
Hey, guess what? I don’t! Granted, testing negative for Hepatitus-C did not come as a big surprise, but I have tested positive for Group B Strep in the past and have needed an IV throughout the labor.
It’s intriguing, the thought of a water birth…and yet…I don’t know.
When push comes to shove, (quite literally), I may not want to be at sea.
My doctor is very supportive of my going natural this time, despite her having joined me on the Caribbean cruise that was George’s birth. She recommended that I prepare a list of prayer intentions and with each contraction, offer it up. I like this idea and better get cracking on that list. Goodness knows I’ve got lots of intentions!
(Feel free to add some to my list.)
(I would be happy to pray for yours too.)
In other news, having finally mailed off my fifth and final iBook review, I received this email confirmation: “The iPad is officially yours!”
I’m sorry, but speaking as the wife of an anti-Apple guy…
It’s so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My favorite (free) apps so far include Flipboard, Kindle, and Netflix. My kids’ favorite apps include (but are not limited) to Marble Math, Stack the States, Presidents vs. Aliens, and Hay Day.
My husband’s favorite app is Pocket Frogs. He plays it (and plays it and plays it and plays it) while snacking on a generous slice of humble pie.
I mustn’t tease him too much, however. To his credit, he tolerates his wife’s watching movies in bed—at 2:00 a.m., no less, during her countless late-night fits of insomnia. Heck, he’ll even watch them with me!
We’ve recently discovered Foyle’s War and find it most enjoyable, the bonus being that, at 90-minutes length, the episodes are meaty enough to put me back to sleep.
(Provided I’m not sipping a French Roast as I watch.)
What else am I doing, besides playing games on my iPad and watching movies? Well, I’m reading Charles Dickens, if that counts for much—A Christmas Carol as well as A Tale of Two Cities.
Impressed? Don’t be. It’s only because my two sons are, too, and also (here’s the real reason) because Desmond from LOST has read all of Dickens’s books.
(I’m fairly fond of Desmond from LOST.)
(It’s a Scottish accent thing, and the way that he calls all the other guys “Brother.”)
What else? There’s no more else. Only waiting and watching and wondering and waiting…and buying the occasional Christmas gift online, if only to distract myself. I’m thinking board games this year, and lots of them. Feel free to share your family’s favorites, and I would love you for it.
You would love a water birth! I've done 2 out of 3 at a place that has them. High bp prevented the last one but they were lovely!
Your comment is encouraging, Lisa! And at this point, encouragement is good. 😛
I know you can do it. And you know you won't regret it. I didn't do a water birth – I did get to the hospital and the baby is born before I can even get the paperwork filled out much less ask for anesthesia birth- but it sounds lovely! A warm bath makes everything better.
Love Scottish accents – love – with the exception of Gerard Butler. Why is that, Margaret? He talks all wrong for a Scot!
I know, right? Whereas Desmond nails the accent.
My kids don't really like board games, but for some reason, they love to play scrabble on the ipad! I do too. I play scrabble and solitaire almost every night to help me unwind. The few board games that they truly have enjoyed are: Apples to Apples (this is good for when other kids come over), Rummikub (my two oldest went through a period where they would play this every day), my oldest son also had a friend who was obsessed with Risk, so he got to enjoy playing that one (long game though and takes a while to set up), connect 4 was another regular hit. my kids also like to play Set. And we did chess for quite a while as well (two kids were in a chess club for a couple of years). I have had a Bible version of Scattegories for a while now and keep meaning to play it with my kids. Maybe that will be an Advent resolution! Prayers for you and your delivery. How exciting!
By Scrabble, do you mean "Words with Friends"? Because I have it installed, just haven't asked any friends yet!
And thank you especially, dear Faith, for the prayers.
I've had four waterbirths (at home) and loved each of them. Now, when I say "love", I mean, I was a screaming banshee come transition, so I can only imagine would have happened if I hadn't been in water 😉
You are in my prayers!
The word "love" is definitely encouraging! The words "screaming banshee?" Um…not so much! 😉
I hear ya, though. I'm not a screamer but I do sort of "lose" it during transition.
That's just me…it's more a panic feeling that sets in, not pain, really. 🙂 I do like the water though and plan on water birth for #5 next spring.
Water births are awesome! I had my first epidural free delivery for my 4th baby in the jacuzzi at the hospital. I wan't supposed to have a water birth (they are not allowed here) but my baby girl came so fast she just flew out underwater. Then you stand up and are all clean. My 5th baby was born in the bed (Boo) but I labored in the jacuzzi which is the only way I can do it without medication. However, I feel like I get more and more panicky and crazy with every labor and an epidural might be just what I need if and when I have another baby! So I guess what I'm saying is just go with the flow – God already knows exactly how this baby will be born, so no use worrying, right?
"Then you stand up and are all clean." That sounds very appealing to me, Colleen. I wasn't sure about having to transfer back to the bed to deliver the placenta, (Sorry, guys!), but I think…all things considered…it may be worth it.
That's what I "think" right now, anyway. Let's see how it goes when I'm NOT thinking. 🙂
Margaret, Margaret, Margaret – you never fail to make me smile. Your 'at sea' comment cracked me up. Preparing a list of prayer intentions sounds so noble, but be sure to show it to the Lord before labor starts. 😉 Natural birth is doable, but thinking at the same time is a whole 'nother matter. 'Jesus, help me' does just fine in a pinch (!) and He'll already know all your needs. He always does.
And spending Advent waiting for a baby is just so perfect (sigh) – you'll do fine.
You're so sweet, Kimberlee. I love your gentle blend of humor, faith & common sense! Thank you.
My sister gave our family 7 Wonders, a strategy game which we all love. For older kids though (our youngest is 12). A game more for most of your family that is fun and you can play with as many as you want is Sequence. And another game our family loves (for up to 6 players) is Spy Alley.
We *have* Sequence, if only I could keep all the little hands off those colorful pieces. I like their imagination; it's the scattering of board games I'm not crazy about.
You'll need a midwife to do a water birth with healtheast unless your doc is certified to do them….and you absolutely can have a water birth with a group b IV in your arm! Been there, done it…….if you don't use a midwife, I highly recommend a doula! There are some good Catholic women out there providing doula services! It will make all the difference in going without an epi! Many prayers for you as you enter into your finally days before birth! You're going to be fabulous I just know it!
I considered a doula, Lisa, but the cost was prohibitive. My doctor told me not to worry, that she would be there and would coach me through it.
LOVE my doctor.
Spent time in a tub in my last birth. Loved it, loved it. But then, I think a bath makes most things better. Did clamber out and give birth on a birthing stool. Liked that too. My personal advice to self-in-labor was always "Do not lay down, do not lay down" . Labor was much more comfortable when I was up. I believe it makes it go quicker too. Just my opinion….
Our new fun game is Farkle. Inexpensive but kinda addictive.
the birthing ball and movements of all sorts helps me in the early stages of labor.
water is a necessity for me. i prefer a birthing pool but a shower is a fine supplement. i have extremely long labors filled with intense back pain. the water is a wonderful reliever but i generally don't like it (for long periods of time)until the very end of labor.
having intentions ready so that you can unite your labor with is a wonderful idea. it helps me. another thing that as helped has been to meditate on the passion of christ. i'm talking going deep. dad and i go through extensive meditations during my last leg of pregnancy. the meditations culminate with a viewing of the passion of christ. i need the visual of real suffering and a reminder of His love. i could not have had my natural, unassisted, 24hrs+ labors with intense back pain without HIM.
please add me to your intentions. pretty much for all the same intentions that you share – job, finances, energy, strength to birth…GOD'S WILL.
Pax Christi,
lena
Adding your name to my list of intentions, Lena.♥
Gosh, if you have the chance to do a water birth–go for it!! You might not have the opportunity again (OK you probably won't, right?) (I'm not kidding or being mean, you know that right?)
Jamie, you rock. I absolutely LOVE you for your bluntness.
Adding my less-than-two-cents here, Margaret! I had an epidural in the hospital with baby #1. Everything about it, even w/the epi, was miserable. I couldn't feel anything, had trouble pushing, tore, etc. Baby #2 I switched to a birth center but was VERY worried that I couldn't actually handle a natural birth. A tub of hot water made ALL the difference. I didn't get in until I really was in pain (when the panic was starting to creep in, as one of the ladies said above). Then it was such a relief I made it through transition and got back out just in time to have the baby in bed less than ten minutes later (they weren't certified for water births and I didn't really want to stay there anyway when I started to feel the urge to push). Another great benefit–no tearing, even though it was a much faster delivery and bigger baby. That hot water must have softened things up! Baby #3 was a different birth center where I could stay in the tub if I wanted. Again, I waited to get in the tub until I really knew I needed a "change of pace." I prayed things would go more quickly this time, but it was still a several hour long labor. I got in at about six cm (after laboring about ten hours) and had to get out about 2.5 hours later b/c I was feeling deflated and wanted the midwife to check me. By the time I went to the bathroom and waddled to the bed to lay down (between contractions), I was almost nine cm (I think standing up helped) and ended up just staying on the bed and having the baby in about a half an hour. Again, even bigger baby, but no tearing. So I definitely say go for the tub, but don't feel like you need to have the baby there and I wouldn't rush in–get in there when you really need something to distract you. As far as prayers, I always make a list and end up with just Hail Mary's and "Jesus, I trust in you." Same with music–I bring CDs and then can't listen to anything. I'll be praying so much for you, Margaret! You and this blog have been such a blessing to me!
KC, you are a blessing to ME. Thank you, Sweetie, for your prayers and advice.
We love a game called Chicken Cha Cha Cha. It's a memory game, so it's great for a variety of ages to play together, but it's more interesting than the typical matching game. The older kids really loved a game called Survive: Escape From Atlantis last year. And a good party game (older kids and parents) is Wits and Wagers.
Thanks, bearing!
I've never had a water birth but know a couple of moms that have and they swear by them! I could see how the water would kind of cushion some of the pain (maybe???). As for intentions, I agree with the short aspirations! Easy to breath out with or say while holding your breath. Even easy to yell out if you have to! I tried specific intentions once…God really held me to that and I was quite unprepared for the intensity of that labor. Haven't done specific intentions since then (I know, call me a chicken :). I will pray that you have a peaceful and holy birth! God Bless.
I think…I know…about being afraid of those BIG intentions, and as such would NEVER call you a chicken.
I tried the prayer intentions while in labor! It did prevent any yelling.. Best wishes for a safe, healthy, and quick delivery.
Thank you. 🙂
I wasn't allowed an epidural during my induced labour because I wasn't progressing, so the only pain relief I got was in the tub. And it was amazing, took away all my pain! (Induced labour pain is horrid.) I highly, highly recommend being in water. The only thing I would say is, make sure you are friends with the nurses. My n-duty nurse/midwife was in a fould mood because she was working on her son's birthday, so she didn't prepare my second bath properly or clean it. The water was almost cold and there was debris floating in it. Gag. But otherwise, seriously, you won't regret it.
As for games, I can't recommend Settlers of Catan highly enough. There's also Anti-Monopoly which is alot more fun than the original.
oh goodness, the mistakes in that comment! sorry! *on-duty* nurse, and a *foul* mood. That nurse was so horrid, I am still traumatised and making spelling mistakes thirteen years later, lol! 🙂 Your birth will go swimmingly, I am sure of it, and I pray for your comfort and joy.
That's okay, Sarah–I rather enjoyed the typos. "Fould" mood seems very Old English, don't you think?
I'm definitely leaning toward a water birth at this point. The comments & encouragement were much appreciated.
Couldn't get you out of my head last night so I offered up lots of prayers for the delivery of your little one! I'll keep doing that. 😉
Much much love to you.
Thank you, sweet Sarah. Joining my mother's intentions to yours in beginning the Christmas novena!
Would you mind praying for our family? For the blessing of another babe:) For our homeschooling journey and for good stewardship with finances. Thank you for your prayers for us.
We have been praying for you, your labor and delivery, and for your husband's work situation. God Bless you all!!
You are on the list! I am happy to pray for such beautiful intentions.
My last one was born in the water and was very peaceful. I'm due with #4 any day (my due date is on the 6th), and the waiting has been so hard. The last few days I've become nervous and anxious about labor and delivery, so I know I'm getting close. I'll definitely add your intentions to mine as I pray for a peaceful and healthy delivery. We are planning a homebirth, and I always doubt myself that I can go through it all again. God gives us the strength from somewhere! Prayers!
Joining my intentions to yours, Mallory, in so many ways.
Maybe we'll both deliver on the 6th. Wouldn't that be a lovely feast day?!
Okay, I can't really believe I'm sharing this publicly, but you have that affect on me, Margaret…you know that, right? Anywho…I, too, am an admirer of Desmond. My nickname for him (up till now only jokingly shared with my husband who understands my sense of humor) is Scotty McHotty. Yes, I am that lame.
Oh, and knowing that he has read all of Dickens' books only makes me admire him that much more. 😉
Alright, you've made me laugh out loud. Scotty McHotty? Kelly, I LOVE you for sharing that.
My son really likes President vs Aliens too. And I love Foyle's War! We've been playing Rummikub a lot at our house lately. And following with the Foyle's War interest, we picked up a game called Touring England http://www.amazon.com/Perisphere-Trylon-Games-toys-RG-1040/dp/B0013XWMXG
last Christmas. We like the card games Set and 5 State Rummy also. And Apples to Apples Jr or regular is fun if you have a crowd. Sending positive thoughts and prayers for a wonderful birth, however it may be. I'd planned a water birth with my first, but things moved faster than expected and the baby was there before the tub! Have a blessed Advent!
Just watched Episode 2 of Season 1 last night! I'm thrilled to have a good (clean) series to watch with my husband. World War II-era murder mysteries? What could be more perfect for those cold & cuddly winter nights?
Since you like Foyle's you might like two murder mystery book series that I like as well. The Charles Todd Ian Rutledge series http://charlestodd.com/books/
and Louise Penny's Inspector Gamache series http://www.louisepenny.com/books.htm
Maybe good for quiet nursing moments in January?
With one of our middle children there was a problem in utero that required we find out gender (it had to do with ovaries so, guess what, she was a girl!) prior to birth. I was sooo disappointed to have to find out because the 'surprise at the end' had always been a big incentive for me to go natural during labor and delivery. But this time with all the medical worries and no big surprise waiting for me I was tired, tired and pretty sure I'd get an epidural even though I'd gone natural every time before. I'd had enough! Bring on the pain relief! Well, despite my previous history of lengthy and drawn out labor this baby decided, along with her Maker, not to give me a chance to get that epidural. She came quick, so quick that it was too late for an epidural by the time we got to the hospital, and neither the doula nor doctor made it in time for delivery. (None of my children after her were so quick.) I think He was kinda laughing at my own plans. My point is, you KNOW He has it all worked out. Don't worry, He will take care of you. He knows your heart and strength and will provide whatever you need. You are in my prayers.
Thank you for your prayers and your perspective. They are both MUCH appreciated.
My 4th boy was a water birth. I remember feeling so much relief when I got in the tub. At first I thought the water was too cold but after being in there for a while it felt fine and I was glad it was not hotter. I remember feeing like a frog with my legs out and bent and just pushing away. It was amazing! The first thing I said after he was born was, "That was easy!" There was no pressure on my hips and I could move any way I wanted with little effort.
I had heard of women saying that they slept through labor and thought they were lying. But I did just that. I had not slept in two days and was exhausted. By the time I got to the birth center and knew I was safe (80 mile drive) I just collapsed on the bed and slept for about an hour and a half. My husband laid down with me and the midwife sat at the side of the bed and wondered if I had really just fallen asleep. I think she was thinking we were in for a long day. I woke up and kind of sat up and felt my water break. Then I got in the tub and was dilated and ready to push. A lot of labor is mental. I felt safe and was ready to trust my midwife and the situation.
Having a doctor or midwife that you trust is so vital.
You can do it! I'll be having our 5th boy in 8 weeks. I need prayers to make it through the next two months.
Lots of Love and prayers for you,
Charlotte in OK.
What a great birth story, Charlotte! I'm adding your intentions to my list, for a peaceful & healthful last two months.
I remember the 1st time I ever commented on your blog….I commented on George's birth story. I said, "You did what you needed to do, when you needed to do it!! Perfect!! What a beautiful birth experience, hand-written by God himself to bring you such a sweet and perfect gift from heaven." I know that you will make the right "game-day decision" when the time comes! I am starting to think of 'labor day' too, as we are expecting our 7th in early February. You will do wonderfully! I love the idea of bringing in a prayer list….I'll start on that, too!
I've been meaning to comment for awhile…our family went to Wahpeton in Oct. to see my Grandma and we went to a 7:30am First Friday Mass at St. John's. There was a man at Mass who looked so familiar to me, but I couldn't put my finger on why I would know him. A few days later when I was checking your blog, it came to me! It might have been your dad!! I think it was, maybe….maybe not, though? Does he ever go to Mass at St. J's? Just curious!
Blessings to you and your family as you prepare this Advent for the coming of our Savior and for the birth of your precious little one!
Sara in Illinois (former South Dakota)
I bet that was my dear Papa, Sarah! Isn't he a sweetie?
I feel a bit reluctant to stick my oar in – but I know having some support and encouragement can really help with the "joyful anticipation" of the birth (I know, we are truly joyfully anticipating AFTER the birth, but you know what I mean…) For what it's worth, I am 40 and just gave birth to beautiful number 5 3 weeks ago, so it's quite fresh in my mind.
That said, everyone is SO different in labour, so Impertinent Advice Point Number 1 is: remember you are you, it's not a competition and there are truly no medals. You do what you need to do. I wasn't allowed a water birth because, apparently, having my 5th child made me really "high risk" in my local hospital. But baths are a great substitute prior to delivery stage, both for relief and encouraging progression when you get out.
Impertinent Advice Point Number 2: just deal with one contraction at a time and remember that progress isn't always (or even usually) neat and linear on a graph. I can get frantic when told I'm only x cm, after y hours… only to make really rapid progress to ready to push all of a sudden… so remember, one contraction at a time. (Also, if you're really losing it, you are more than likely nearly there!)
Impertinent Advice Point Number 3: offering is good… great … but so is asking for the intercession of a few familiar saints (especially reluctant to go here as I'm not even a "proper" Catholic, but this was HUGE for me this time, really helped – until I was out of my mind, but luckily that didn't last too long this time – phew!)
Last Impertinent Advice Point: if using Entonox/ gas and air, try not to let it wear off completely between contractions once they start intensifying big time, you just can't get enough of the stuff before they peak. If you can (i.e. your health care providers let you) keep a few gentle puffs going in between so you don't have too far to go when the next one hits…
Anyway, sorry to be epic. You will be in my prayers… and you'll do great.
Editing to add: it is clear that the last bit doesn't amount to "medical advice", yes? You need to check with your health care providers about how to use Entonox in labour.
I will be praying for you-although I am an epi girl, I admire those who don't use one, and will definitely pray for you! LOVE our iPad. I had a phone conference for work this morning, and 3 year old daughter was in the middle of a diatribe of her own as I entered the call. Our VP was SO good about Alex, and was impressed when he heard me say, "yes, Alex, you can use the iPad." LOVE the technology! 🙂
My number 5 was born in the water and I can't recommend it enough! Her birth was so peaceful and I felt like the whole experience was in my hands as opposed to those of the doctor / attendant. Number 6 is on the way and I am planning my second water birth. I'll be praying that, whatever happens, your birth is peaceful and safe!
Thank you for adding our intentions to yours! Please pray for baby Dominic Pio Gundrum, who just had major surgery to remove an encephalocele and reconstruct his face.
I'll be praying for you as you await the birth of your little one. I'm a longtime reader, very infrequent commenter, but I've kept you in my prayers through the years, and am so happy for you and your family to receive the gift of this new baby boy! 🙂
We've been praying for baby Dominic daily, Robin, but I've added his name to my hospital list. What a little honey he is.
Hi Minnesota Mom,
I had our 5th a short time ago when I was 44 years old {high-risk due to advanced maternal age—thanks Doc!}and he was my first baby in a hospital that allowed for water labor…I was ridiculously concerned about being in water for pushing….silly, but there it is.
I was GB for my last pregnancy, too, and my big happy thought was that I wouldn't have to test and poke my poor little fingers anymore! Yeah! So, after a bit of time at the hospital, and walking for labor, I was put on pitocin, and the warm water was very soothing and allowed me to have a no-pain medicine birth…it isn't a contest, as many have said, but it is better for *baby* to have an unmedicated birth…if possible…
Could you please add our intentions? Please pray for the purity of our children's souls, and for their future spouses, if that is what God has in mind.
Thank you, and we'll add you and your family to our prayers for Mommies-to-be!
God bless you as you wait in wonder,
Donna L.
"GB" should have read: GD–for Gestational Diabetes–sheesh, that's what I get for typing before coffee, and with no glasses on!
God bless you and your *growing* family!
Donna L.
Have added your intentions, Donna!
Thank you, and please know we have added you, and your family to our rosary prayers!
Hang in there—you're in the *home stretch* !
God bless you all!
Donna L.
Hi Margaret! I love that you are having a Dec baby. I loved, loved, loved being pregnant last Advent and I can't believe our little Christmas miracle is going to be 1 on 12/26. Would you mind adding our desire to have another baby to cherish and hold this side of heaven to your list? We are still reeling from our 3rd miscarriage a few months ago – another little girl we named Mary. Just today, my husband was saying as he was putting Mary's headstone ready for storage (we just got it and we are going to wait to put it on the grave until spring) – "I really hope we can give Elizabeth at least one sibling here on Earth". I just said – "me too, me too". We both come from bigger families – well, I am one of four and he is one of seven. So, we would like a big family with all our hearts, but it just doesn't seem to be God's will at this point. Sorry for rambling. I will be praying for you and the baby!!!
My heart goes out to you, Mrs. B, and I am adding your family's intentions to my list. ♥