Anthony has reached the six weeks’ mark and my life? Well, it’s chaotic.
I joke to my friends that I’m hanging by a thread domestically, and they laugh and have no idea that you know what? I’m really serious.
I made my bed this morning for the first time in six weeks.
That’s how serious I am.
Yes, we are going through one of those tricky times of transition and it is all I can do to just hang on. I do this by letting go of all the little things (see post below), nervously snacking on crunchy food items, and praying.
I pray hard.
The thing is, my prayer life is just as out of sorts as everything else. I am not getting up as early as I used to and I am pretty much tired all the time. Yes, this is due to my new little Fuss-Face, who sleeps through the night (thank goodness!) most nights, but who squeaks and grunts and…um…fills his pants in his sleep.
He is very noisy.
So I have to go with the flow (of breast milk, hee) and pray when I can. I try to offer up every moment because nothing is certain and everything has changed and so what can I do but cling to God through it all? I’m offering Him everything.
It’s all in the details for us crazy-busy moms.
- It’s going to Son #1’s baseball game (one of his last) when you’d rather stay home.
- It’s praising Son #2’s drawing (one of his best) and not mentioning the fact that he spelled his name wrong.
- It’s letting Daughter #3 move in closer…closer…and even closer as you nurse the baby.
Basically, it’s sharing your space when you want to be alone, which is often because you are so in demand, and it’s praying for the patience and love that you need on a minute-by-minute basis.
It’s going out on a limb for God and your family.
It’s doing this…because you choose to.
AMDG,
Praying for you as you find that "new normal" with your little treasure, Margaret!
I know this is going to be me in a few weeks…wait it's already me without the newborn yet!!
That space thing, it's so true. I do catch myself pulling away sometimes when they want to be closer, and I quickly go back realizing I'm not being very loving when I do that, it's that needing my own personal space that's never there thing!
Last night in the chapel for my holy hour, I read this from The Domestic Church Room by Room, by Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle:
(I circled it and starred it, I thought for me, but maybe it's for you too!)
"At times, the hectic pace and the constant and immediate demands placed on her can cause a mother to feel inadequate or lacking direction in her spiritual life, simply because she feels she has no time to pray. It is when she realizes that Our Lord actually wants to use her attentiveness to her family's needs that she will understand the value and prayerfulness in performing little things with great love. The mother becomes an everyday example to her family as she raises her children in holiness and goes about with a prayerful heart, striving to emulate the Blessed Mother's virtues."
Although, you did say you were praying hard, I still thought the quote fit.
Mothering: an extraordinary vocation in which little saints are raised inside the hidden confines of homelife amid the nitty-gritty, humble work of the mother in the home.
Sorry so long, gosh, I should have a blog,huh? haha!
Great picture of the tree climber on a limb, looks just like my yard and me on the edge nervous, but with a camera!
"It's sharing your space when you want to be alone" …. (((((SIGH))))
I know for myself, I like my life to look perfectly in order … family, house, and spirit. It may be easy to say to yourself that having it all is not always possible and that's okay, but it's the believing part that's difficult. Some of us do have to pray a little harder.
God Bless you Margaret. I hope that you enjoy your summer.
Thank you for being so open and honest…you have spoken my fears as we prepare for our next baby in September. I will be attempting to nurse again with our 4th after not having nursed since I gave up in frustration with a premature first baby and gosh, it makes me nervous. I will be praying for yo as well. Hopefully we will all find a new normal…
I came across your blog through a friend of mine and found it so encouraging. I just wanted to say hello and thank you for the words of honesty and encouragement. I have 6 children (5 here and 1 in Heaven). It is so refreshing to here another Mom acknowledge children lost through miscarriage, here in a world where life isn't valued as it should be.
I am also going through a new normal with a new little one, many family moves and attempting to start homeschooling (yikes). Your words are timely to my heart and balm to my soul! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart and your daily reality.
I know God blesses us in whatever our daily reality is, but I honestly yearn for a more busy household (not to say that my 2 don't keep me busy) with a little one in my arms and perhaps others invading my space a bit more.
I know we are all in different stages in our motherly lives, so until mine becomes a bit more busy I think I am here to support and encourage those whose hands (and space) are just a little fuller right now. 🙂
So, my prayers and fondest thoughts are being sent your way that this new daily reality of yours will be a time of abundant blessing! {{hugs}}
"Closer and closer…"
I LOVE IT! How true it is!
You are right and that is my resolution for today 🙂 I am going to try to not cringe or tighten my muscles or just get up when my many little ones want to sit near me, closely to me or on me.
I have to remind myself to
"Love 'em up!"
GOd bless you Margaret,
Mary @ Cheerios
Margaret, I am having a similar experience, although mine has more to do with first-trimester exhaustion than new-baby chaos.
I have to take exception to one thing you wrote, the thing you put at the very end as if to sum it all up. "Doing it because you HAVE to?"
Hardly!
Nobody is standing there with a gun to your head MAKING you do the right thing, or MAKING you die to self in the myriad ways that mothers are called to every day.
You are an adult, you have agency, you have free will. You are CHOOSING to align yourself with your vocation at every moment. This is not a have-to. This is a choose-to. Give yourself some credit, and thank God for the grace of that choosing to keep saying Yes to what's asked of you.
Erin, you are absolutely and unequivocally right–so much so, that I went back and changed it.
You have a knack for clarifying my thoughts. I love that about you…and I hate it. 😉
As I could say so often when I read your posts: just what I needed to hear (read)!
Thanks for sharing so candidly. So nice to know we aren't alone in our journey/vocation and our attempts at living it faithfully!
Thanks for sharing. Us smaller-family moms always wonder how bigger-family moms "do it". Apparently, you "do it" the same as us – minute by minute. ((hugs))
Um, I haven't made my bed in 3 months – the day I left to go to the hospital to have Abigail. I keep waiting to find a new normal…
Maybe I have started to find it – i am thinking about blogging again! 🙂
I totally hear you.
However, as the mother of a 17-month-old who has never slept through the night, I am totally coveting that baby who sleeps!
Amen, sister!
I am totally THERE. Even though my sweet babe is now 7 months, she is SO demanding and is still rocking my world in a major way. She does not believe in naps (not good), and just when I thought things were beginning to get a bit better, she decided to go and cut SIX teeth at once. Gotta love 'em!
Thanks for this. It is just what I needed. 🙂
That new baby period is so precious, yet so exhausting. Looking back at those moments, it is somewhat of a blur. Someone gave me great advice. It was this: in 10 to 20 years do you want your children to remember a perfect house? A perfect schedule? Or do you want them to remember the love, the hugs, the feeling of happiness? You are living this out, just remember to live it out guilt free. Then don't be too proud allow any willing people to help you out.
I love the piece from Jamie.
May God continue to bless your beautiful family,
Tami
My Catholic Soul Sister,
You are doing it. You are doing it. Every day right now, I am trying to believe with my whole heart that what's important in God's economy may not look like much to us in this particular culture. And there are certainly moments when it doesn't FEEL like it's worth much. We are being faithful with our jobs, and we are being blessed right and left and it is adding up for us and our husbands and our children.
Tell me how to pray for you and I am on it.
XO,
ML
As my oldest is now 18 and becoming more and more independent every day, I'm realizing that I should be so happy for my popularity with my children. They want to tell me everything and show me everything, all of them and then, my husband too. I used to think, please, give me a break! Now, I'm realizing, wow, I am so popular with these people; they must really like me. I'm always wondering if others like me and do they find me interesting. And now, I realize I am so popular with these people that I call family. Yeah, sometimes popularity stinks, like last night when the 5 year old threw up on the way to bed. No, things don't always go as I would like them to, but I'm learning to pace myself and definitely to pray more about everything and all the time.