Subtitled: The Payless Saint
Read Part I here.
“Out to the van, kids,” I directed.
“But–” Joe was confused until he saw my face. “Come on, everybody. Let’s go.”
Now I’ll admit that paying full price for five pairs of kids’ shoes—at Payless, no less—would not have broken our budget. I am sure that part of my reaction stemmed from pride…and anger. I had wondered if I pushed the saleslady a bit—if I said, for example, that I wasn’t going to take the shoes after all—that she would give me the discount after all. She didn’t take my bluff, though. I had to leave and think things through.
I had to go phone my husband.
The kids made their way toward the exit—all of them, that is, except my Angela. I thought she might put up a fuss about our leaving without buying anything, and you know something? She did. Clutching her oversized kitty slippers and her Dora purse, she stared at me defiantly from across the store.
“You need to put those things back, Angela,” I said, and gave her as firm a look as I could muster.
She didn’t move to obey me.
So I left.
As we went to the van I could see her inside the store staring out at us curiously. Granted, she wasn’t budging yet, but she was wondering what we were up to.
“But, Mom!” Jem was concerned. “What about Angela?”
“I’m going back to get her,” I told him. “Just hop in the van and get buckled.”
Turns out, I didn’t need to go into the store to get her. She came charging out after me—Dora purse still in hand—and the saleslady came charging out right behind her.
“You need to leave that here,” the clerk directed.
I almost laughed to see the immediacy with which Angela obeyed her. She handed it over without a word. There was one other woman standing there on the sidewalk—another customer—who evidently had gotten caught up in all the drama. As such, it was a very embarrassing moment. I was ready to lose it—I really was—but I needed to hang onto my composure long enough to scoop up Angela and head back to the van.
The two ladies stood there, watching.
Once inside the van, Angela let loose. She had a tantrum inside her and at that point she released it—screaming and shouting and going stiff as a board when I tried to put her in her car seat. It is so hard to remain detached when she does that. It is so hard to remain calm.
I couldn’t do it; I broke down.
In a fit of extreme parenting, I yelled right back at her. “Why must you always do this?!” I shouted. I gathered up her hair on both sides of her head and held her still so that she’d look at me. “Why? I can’t take it, Angela! This is too hard for me to deal with!”
I suddenly noticed a woman standing outside the driver’s side window.
A social worker.
Or so I thought.
Deeply embarrassed and more than a bit afraid, I made my way to the front of the van and buzzed the window.
“Can I help you?” I asked, not really wanting to.
It was the customer who had been standing on the sidewalk—a fashionably dressed Black woman with beautiful eyes and a kind expression. She was wringing her hands nervously.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I don’t mean to interfere right now…”
“…but I’d like to help you buy those shoes.”
The rush of emotion that I felt at her words led to a flood of tears.
It takes a special sort of humility to be on the receiving end of charity—one that I have not (yet) been called to exercise that often. On the one hand, I did not at all want her to spend her money on us when I knew we could afford those shoes; on the other hand, I knew that this was grace in action.
I tried to smile while I continued to cry. I accepted her kind offer.
I told her that I’d meet her back in the store and I turned to face the children. Again, had I not been weeping I would have laughed—their mouths were gaping as they processed all that had happened.
“You realize what that lady is doing for us, don’t you?” I inquired.
They nodded solemnly.
“Well, I want you to remember her in your prayers. Alright?”
Again they nodded.
I met my benefactress at the cash register, where the sales clerk was looking uncomfortable. Her morning had been most interesting, no doubt! I was still crying and found myself wanting to make excuses for myself and Angela. All I ended up saying was, “She is like that all the time…”
Those two women were probably thinking, “And what about you? Are you like this all the time?”
“How about I pay for 2/3 of the cost and you pay for the rest?” I then murmured to the other customer.
“How about I pay for half?” she responded firmly.
And then she went and got the Dora purse and set it on the counter.
Angela was surprised when she saw the purse; she knew she hadn’t earned it. The thing is, neither had I earned this woman’s kindness. Neither did I deserve it. Yet it came to us in a moment of grace—from a beautiful woman with a heart that matched her appearance.
There were two lessons that I took with me that day. The first was the power of love to defuse a tense situation.
And the other was the power of love…period.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Wow. Beautiful. Thank you.
Wow. That’s quite a story — I’ve been waiting for Part II. That was quite a lesson in humility and I’m proud of you, Margaret. I can see myself in your shoes (no pun intended) and I don’t know if I would have been proud of myself.
PS I dreamed about you last night and there was a big hug involved — did you feel it?
I could feel that story way down in my stomach. Your Angela is my Joey and he takes me to places emotionally that I just can’t handle. (That and coffee- bad combo!) And then the angel who showed up to help- wow, is all I can say.
It is so big of you to share this story with us. Thank you! That was really powerful.
Wow. I don’t know if I would have been able to let go of my pride as you did, Margaret. This story is so touching, and well worth the wait!
How awesome.
🙂
HUGS!
We all get fried, and it’s never pretty (it never seems to be “in private” either!) God bless the woman in the store for recognizing that and finding a way to help you through it. I am SURE that sometime you will be in a position to help out some other fried mommy.
OH, that story was so powerful. Again, you are such a great writer! The social worker comment made me laugh through the tears so hard, a moment of relief.
The tears are of course, because I understand. I am amazed too, at your humility. I know I would have refused and just got out of there as quickly as possible, after first covering up my license plates-haha and never returned.
We can all pray for that wonderful woman.
We need to help other women in those situations when they are trying to take care of children and yet are unraveled. We say we are pro-life, yet do we help the lives that come? The mothers who might need help because they, too, are pro-life?
I used to look at women with screaming children in stores and think not so nice things. Then I had “Mary”. I look differently now and try to help, at least give a empathetic smile, somehow let them know they are not alone in this world.
Great story Margaret. You, your children and that wonderful woman all received grace in different ways on that day. What a story for Angela when she grows up!! Can’t you just picture her and her siblings laughing about that one when they are older?
At the first part of this story, I smiled grimly in recognition, then wiped away tears when the rescuing angel appeared. What a wonderful reminder that we all occasionally fight these mothering battles! But the best reminder was the moral of the story ~ that last line, and that’s what brought the tears.
Bless you for your humility, bless the beautiful woman for her charity.
Margaret, this is such a beautiful story. Bless you for your vulnerability and allowing that sweet woman to help you out. God does send help our way when we can’t take it anymore. This story inspired me to help out other moms in need. I can SO relate to parenting your youngest daughter. Our youngest girl is very similar to her. It can be so frustrating! Blessings, Gina
Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I have tears rolling down my face and I felt compelled to post a comment and let you know that for some reason.
Blessings to you and your family.
What a story. Thank you for sharing it. Our youngest (not yet 3) is very like your Angela, and I’m afraid I would have been too proud to let that beautiful woman help. God bless you.
Wow….
Beautiful story, Margaret.
Bless you for sharing such a hard story. I’ll bet this was just what Angela needed.
What an amazing story. Thank you for sharing it.
“Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”
This made me cry for joy into my lunch!!
I am in tears as I read your story. How many of us have been in a similar embarrasing situation? With my fierce pride, I only hope that I would be able to accept the kind offer. But what a chance to be humble. Thank you for sharing this story!
Your story moved me to tears, Margaret. Wow. Many blessings to you, your children, and that beautiful angel!
That was beautiful. At one time or another, I’ve been all three of those women. Probably even one of the kids, come to think of it. Thanks for reminding me where I’ve been and where I’m going.
Beautiful! Thank you!
That was a beautiful story Margaret, and I had been down that road more than a few times with my “difficult” child.
Would it be very bad of me to ask if anyone could spare an extra $1200 to get the AC fixed in my Town and Country?? I’m sorry, just thought I would ask. It’s 100 degrees here today BTW. It’s either fix the A/C or skip the beach vacation. Beach here I come!
if only there were more people like her!!!! god bless her so much. isn’t it strange that sometimes accepting help is so much more painful than giving it?
i am so glad you did though. it would have been sad if you had done what i am sure was tempting and just say oh, thank you so much for offering, but i have to GO…NOW….. ;-)))). it’s good too, for children to see generosity in others. the dora purse, that will always be a sign to angela, of god’s love for her no matter what. and THAT is humbling indeed. mcm
Oh, Margaret. What an amazing example of our Lord’s boundless grace! I’m in awe. Thank you so much for sharing a difficult yet mind blowingly grace-filled moment with us.
Oh my gosh. You are so humble to share this story, and I’m so glad you did.We ALL have moments like this, but I think that lady was an angel in disguise.
Thank you.
I have one similar to Angela and we don’t often leave a store without a large, loud and violent tantrum. He has special issues that are his “excuse” and it’s so hard to not turn tail and run as fast as you can.
I am so proud of you, and just can’t say “thank you” enough for sharing your mommy moment. You taught your children an incredible lesson about humility, God’s love for us, and angels. Thank you.
Peace.
Beautiful story. As others have said, it looks like God sent you an angel!
What an amazing moment of grace! Thank you for sharing it with us.
Beautiful, amazing story. Thanks for sharing!
Wow can you tell a story! I was right there with you. God bless you Margaret I love your blog because I love hearing your about your honest journey as a Catholic mother.
Incredible! Truly amazing was this woman’s charity, and your response to it. I can relate soooooo well to the anger in the moment – at the situation of the shoes not really being on sale, the frustration of having spent all that time finding them, and then the child who just knows how to press all the right buttons to put me over the edge. I’m impressed you waited until you got in the van to let loose – good self control ;)! Having a difficult child (and we didn’t have one until our 5th) is a humbling experience over and over, even in the privacy of our home. The Scripture passage where Paul says “I do not do the thing I want to do, but I do the thing I don’t want to do……” (very paraphrased….sorry no time to look it up).
But the most striking thing about your post is reminding us as the parents that we often don’t earn the kindness or charity that we are shown by others or our Lord. That can help me to be more merciful to my children who haven’t earned it either.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Teresa
What an amazing story. Humbling and transforming.
What a great story!
Someone once told me that it is an act of mercy to let someone do an act of mercy for you. I often forget that in my pride and desire to be COMPLETELY self-sufficient.
This story is also a good reminder for me of the need to look beyond the surface situation, in order to see and meet the deeper need. Like your angel in the story…looked past the screaming child to see your difficulty.
“It takes a special sort of humility to be on the receiving end of charity—one that I have not (yet) been called to exercise that often.” Amen sister. For those of us who have been blessed financially and have been able to afford household help, clothing, education, vacations and such, your words rang true to me. Thank you for sharing with us a beautiful story. You should have this published.
Wow – this story brought me to tears… being the mother of two little boys with “special needs” – shopping and nightmare go hand in hand. With autism embarrassing tantrums are par for the course – and not just when the children are little – it’s hard to explain a child’s behavior when they’re almost as big as you are… (We just don’t go shopping as a family anymore.) I know if I was ever blessed with an understanding and helpful stranger I would definitely burst into tears – I’ve never met anyone even remotely like that though (I seem to attract adults who are condescending and judgmental right of the bat). You have been greatly blessed, and just reading your story was a huge blessing for me! It’s wonderful to know that someone like that exists…
Peace,
~Jenny
Beautiful. What an angel that woman is.
Margaret thanks for sharing! You are such an awesome writer! I was in tears. Thanks for being so honest. It is so hard to accept help from others. Good for you for knowing that even though you did not need the financial help, you let her do a good deed for Christ. Also, the best part was what you said to your children about praying for her. I will pray for her too.
yet another raw life story. thank you for sharing it.
I love your story! What a wonderful picture you have painted about God’s love for us. His grace is truely sufficent, but He goes above and beyond and buys the Dora purse for us too!
Thank you for sharing-
Emily