Jen has started an interesting discussion about on-line communities, in which she compares the internet to the village water well, one where
“it’s not necessarily a good place to try to form deep friendships, but [where] it is a place we can quickly, casually throw out the question ‘You ever have days like this?’ in the midst of our daily work; a place where we can just listen to what’s going on with other people we ‘know’ when we’re feeling too tired to make conversation ourselves; a way we can feel like we have a pulse on what’s going on in a larger community throughout each day.”
I would have to say that I agree with her. I have far more like-minded friends (and I do call them friends) in the blogosphere than I have in my own neighborhood. Far more. There are many like-minded women at my parish (and a handful of true friends) and I thank God for that. However, we do not have as many opportunities to get together—to be social and to share ideas—as I would like and as the extrovert in me craves.
We are all just way too busy.
That is why when I am having a particularly bumpy moment in my stay-at-home mommy’s life, I am more prone to blog about it than I am inclined to phone a friend. It is not that I don’t like to chat, but admittedly it is not convenient for me (or considerate to my children) to spend a lot of time on the phone. In fact, I usually don’t even answer the telephone during school hours, because I know that the “important” people will leave a message and I will get back to them during a break.
By and large these days, my method of reaching out and of staying in touch is to crank out a post while the children are still sleeping (or in this case, watching “Clifford” on PBS Kids), and know (hope, really) that there will be a friend or two who will say “Hi” in return.
Take yesterday as an example. Your feedback, your kindness and most of all, your prayers were what I needed to see me through. Thank you for that. Our day was so much better than the previous one, and I think that’s in part why we have those bad dreams and angry moments and (admit it) total meltdowns. It’s the proverbial wake-up call—or in this case, the wake-up post and the wisdom of your comments—that for me is the impetus to be better and to try harder and to love my children with all I’ve got.
And don’t think they don’t sense that. My girls were surprised and delighted when I hauled all of my suitcases out of the closet and told them to “pick a boat” and “take a journey.” (My bed was the ocean, though the girls would soon be thumping and bumping their way down to the sitting room. Sigh. I will never have a super-tidy, company-only sitting room…and I’ve made my peace with that!)
The biggest sign for me that we were having a good day was when I asked my 8-year-old son if he had hugged me yet that day. “No,” he replied, with a twinkle in his eye, “and I don’t intend to!”
He then laughed at my mock surprise and gave me a bear hug.
You have to know my son to see the sweetness in his words. He does not joke unless he is doing well—very well—and at that moment, all was right with him.
And all was right with me, as well.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Isn’t it funny how a little attitude adjustment…Mommy attitude, that is…makes the day better for everyone? There’s an old saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” and it is so true. Glad things are looking up today, dear Margaret!
With love…
One good day for a fresh start!! Great post! I say the same thing to my son, “Have you gotten a mommy hug today?” I’m still going to do that one even when they are teens!
Children are blessings to us on even the worst of days. I am so happy you are feeling better about things. I hope you feel the love your kids have for you, in abundance, today.
I also hope it isn’t snowing there, like it is today. *sigh*
Blessings to you, Margaret.
Great post Margaret. I don’t often comment, but I read daily. On the few days that you don’t post I am disappointed, this is my outside communication. I have a daycare, so talking on the phone is hard. You have no idea how loud my house is as I “talk” to you over the computer. Well, maybe you can relate, but you don’t have to deal with it.
How wonderful to hear! Or, read. 🙂 That’s what we are here for, and I know I look to my friends of the heart to help me on my not so good, even horrible days. I always get the email, the comment, and the love I need to steer me back in the right direction in this vocation of love. You rock!
What she said. What you said. Glad the normal brightness of day glared out the nightmare.
What a great mom you are!
I’m so thankful for online “communities” – I really don’t know many like-minded women in “real life” at all – and the few I do know are much too busy to “visit” with regularly. The blogosphere is my connection to the encouragement we all need to live the lives we choose…
I’m so glad things are brighter in the light of day!
Peace,
~Jenny
I tell my children in my best Italian mama voice “wutsa matta – ya sick? Come here an-give me a hug!” Love love love those babies!
I love my new blog family and I love reading them. You gals are blessings.
I just now saw your post from yesterday — I’m so sorry you had a tough day. I can totally relate. My three-year-old hasn’t been napping well, which means I’ve had less down time than usual, and it’s really taking its toll on me. I hit a major low point this week, and felt much like you felt when you wrote your 3am post.
Our day was so much better than the previous one, and I think that’s in part why we have those bad dreams and angry moments and (admit it) total meltdowns. It’s the proverbial wake-up call—or in this case, the wake-up post and the wisdom of your comments—that for me is the impetus to be better and to try harder and to love my children with all I’ve got.
Yes! I felt the same way. After having my own little mental meltdown earlier this week, I found it to be a good wakeup call and actually feel re-invigorated to get back in the saddle and give it my best!
Thanks for your thoughts.
I love the feedback of people on their own time, no pressure. I would have to disagree with the part about “not necessarily a good place to try to form…” because I have gained some DEEP friendships out of this blogging thing. It’s kind of like having a journal…with benefits! The benefit of finding some really wonderful people to be friends with. Or, maybe modern-day pen-pals? I don’t care, I LOVE it!