I hate Lent.
And I love Lent.
I hate it for the heavy guilt that bears down on me every season.
And I love it for everything else.
I am incredibly weak. Every Ash Wednesday I know what my sacrifice should be: I should forgo my beloved joe.
And for 40 days I fail.
Come Holy Week, then, and I feel relieved: an end to the guilt is imminent!
But then I feel like I haven’t earned Easter.
(And I hate that feeling.)
I know people who go about their Lenten penance as matter-of-factly as they pick up a carton of milk at the grocer’s. It’s what they need to do, so they do it.
For Minnesota Me, though, it’s always this Great Big Thing.
A great big sacrifice! Can I do it?
Is it a sign, perhaps, of my personality?
Or a sign that I’m pathetically addicted?
I don’t know.
I heard a homily where the priest said, “Do not choose a sacrifice that’s too difficult.”
In my case, that’d be my coffee.
Brewed strong, please.
Cream. No sugar.
Okay, I think, I’ll switch to tea.
Okay, I’ll leave the cream out.
Okay, I’ll stop at just one cup.
Okay, I’ll just stop trying.
Perhaps the real sacrifice is facing my weakness.
Perhaps there’s another penance that would do.
When I look at this photo, though, I want to be better.
And I want to give my Lord my best.
Oh Margaret — my sentiments exactly! (Although – I definitely want the sugar in my DD…) I have been hemming and hawwing all week about what to give up! The picture says it all — but I’m still so weak!
Great post, Margaret. I run through some of the same struggles – as do many I suppose. One possible way to work through things is to take it one week at a time (some people take Sundays off of their Lenten sacrifice anyway) and go ahead and have that cup of coffee each Sunday.
My favorite quote keeps running through my head about this sort of thing (and many other things): Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” (St. Francis of Assisi) It is so encouraging to me and I’ve seen it come to fruition on occasion!
The satirical view of penance as a weakness distances you from the reality of sacrifice, for the bigger sin is to feel the absence of the Lord. For I am not sure comparing the Lords sacrifice to doing without coffee is
appropriate.
Your talk of sacrifices is TOTALLY appropriate, if it is good enough for St Therese, it is good enough for us in our small ways. Can we try to do better? Sure we can, but “try” is the key word.
I have the same struggles only with Diet Coke. One thing I try to do often for the poor souls is give it up for only one day. Or not get any when I am shopping. (my prize for shopping) Maybe something like this would work for you, give it up on a certain day. I am sure you do other things and offer them up as I am sure you also do extra things, like the Stations, Divine Mercy, etc. Small things.
I tend to want to give up lots of things and yes am faced with what I actually gave up. Most years I give up TV. (I did live without it totally for about 7 years) But I make “acceptions” like, yes, American Idol, I am a fan, we really enjoy that show and it is on every lenten season! But, then I will not watch any at any other time. (I do not watch it all the time, but I do after 9pm when I sit to nurse the baby, it’s my ritual, I sit down with my big blanket, water or tea and get her ready and grab the remote:))
Now is the perfect time to tell you Margaret, I have pretty much decided to give up reading blogs. This will be my biggest sacrifice this year. A year ago, I was not even reading them, now I spend an hour (at least) per day reading and leaving comments. (I TRY to only leave comments on your site, but sometimes I just cannot resist) There are such wonderful Catholic mothers out there, and I feel like they are all my friends. But the reality is if I stop reading, they will still go on, and not even miss me, which is humbling, I guess, as a blog reader. I have noticed reading less with my children, playing less with them and feeling like they are bugging me if I am trying to read these wonderful women’s lives. That is not good.
Please Margaret, email me if anything comes up between Sundays to Sundays,I will read on Sundays. if you need a prayer request or anything. I love you and will miss you daily, but you will be in my prayers.
I did read somewhere once, that what we sacrifice during lent, we should probably give up during the year also. Maybe this Sunday thing will stay even after lent, maybe not. I have tried to cut back already. until Easter then…
God Bless you!
God Bless you!
This is not starting until Wednesday though. 🙂
Great post. I think this is something that most people struggle with. Also a quick reflection on something you said.
“But then I feel like I haven’t earned Easter.”
As with God’s love, we don’t earn God’s love, nor do we earn Easter. God gave us His Son to save us, not that we may be condemned, but that we may be saved.(John 3:16,17 paraphrased)
The greatest blessing of Lent is that we can realize through penance how great His love is.
I forgot to mention my favorite day of the year, Divine Mercy Sunday!! Do all required of this wonderful Feast day and according to St Faustina, it is as if being re-baptised, the graces are that abundant!! We will be made new.
Margaret. What a great post, as usual : ) That picture says it all. I know all about coffee addiction. I can RELATE! I’ll have to tell you about it sometime. I hope you have a very blessed Lent.
Jamie: I notice you’re getting all your comments in before Lent! 😉
I am teasing, of course, and want you to know you will be missed dearly. Having said that, I think you are doing a great thing and know God will bless your generous, beautiful heart.
And ladies, in case you hadn’t noticed up ’til now, I am one of those poor tortured souls who thinks she has to “earn” God’s love. Theologically I know the “truth,” but tell that to my heart. I am far too “feelings oriented” for my own good.
Chidren without voices: I did not mean for this post to be satirical at ALL. It is truly that hard for me to give up my coffee, and I truly feel pathetic that it should be hard.
Bottom Line: there is NO sacrifice that would compare to Our Lord’s, as Amanda said.
Margaret,
And ladies, in case you hadn’t noticed up ’til now, I am one of those poor tortured souls who thinks she has to “earn” God’s love. Theologically I know the “truth,” but tell that to my heart. I am far too “feelings oriented” for my own good.
Perhaps this is what you should be working on this Lent. Examine yourself (have you ever tried the Examen?); reflect on God’s gifts to you and on your sins. Consider all the little ways in which he has shown you his love every day, and then know in your heart that you have repaid his abundant gifts with ingratitude and pettiness, with evil. When we really accept this about ourselves, we can stop putting our energy into pretending to be good enough or trying to do it all on our own. All that energy is then freed up for actually loving God and committing to his will.
The penance I would suggest (ok, so maybe I shouldn’t be going around prescribing penances, but it’s just a suggestion). Drink one cup of coffee every day as a reminder to yourself that you are weak and can do nothing without God. Then, fortified by remembering that he loves you despite your weakness, give up any more coffees during the day for love of him. (And, of course, offer up your suffering for some cause of your choice, or even of His choice.)
Margaret, dear friend, I experience these struggles too. May God give us the grace we need this lent to persevere in our sacrifices, and to get back up when we fall.
Margaret,
I ditto what Kristen said. Let’s all keep trying to make those little sacrifices, and pray for each other this Lent!
Lovely sentiments, great post…thanks for the food for thought. 🙂
In a nutshell, I think you wrote what we all struggle with during Lent.