Okay, so whose idea was it to schedule Mother’s Day in May, when calendars are packed and tensions run high?! How can our families possibly meet our expectations when they’re running off to soccer games and/or coming down off their spring concert highs?
It’s not fair. I say we switch dates with dear old Dad, who gets a nice chill time slot in the month of June and probably doesn’t even care, to boot.
Well.
To the end of having the BEST day possible, I’ve come up with a checklist for you, dearest momma. I get that you might be feeling very harried and are investing all your hopes in a glorious Mother’s Day. If only our families get it right! The perfect distillation of bright bouquets, delicious gourmet and 12 hours (at least) of pampering!
(Spoiler Alert: That’s a lot of pressure for a single day.)
As a mom-of-many for over 20 years, I know from experience to keep my Mother’s Day hopes in check. I know to be very careful to not compare what my husband does—or doesn’t do—to that perfectly perfect husband online, and I hope (please, Jesus) to hold my tongue when I’m not exactly pleased.
In short, on a day that’s meant to be all about me, I have to try to not make it all about me.
Bam! That’s the path to happiness.
Are you ready to see my 5-item list? Here we go:
1. Be very very mindful of the kind of Mother’s Day you want to have. For example, my love language is words of affirmation, so I am huge advocate for my card-receiving rights in the days leading up to special occasions. Kind of a coincidence, don’t you think, that this was my “Word of the Year” for 2018.
In short, you shouldn’t feel guilty or weird about making your desires known, provided you’re not demanding a limo to the spa or some such.
2. Choose joy.
Don’t be passive aggressive, Moms; you have to lead your heart on the path to happiness. You can choose what to do. Pass your cell phone to a stranger in the supermarket, (provided they’re not some creepy creeper) and have them take a picture of you & your kids in front of the floral display. Goof around on Snapchap with your daughters. Post a Mother Day’s group shot on your Instagram account.
Get outside! Go for a walk. Have fun.
3. Seek out the other moms that you encounter, be it at church or the store or in your neighborhood. Honor them with a hug, a how-are-you, a mini-loaf of homemade banana bread.
When it comes to having a topnotch Mother’s Day, I suggest making it less about you and more about them. Take time to honor other mothers and inevitably you’ll feel good because it’s in our nature to serve and it’s when we get all selfish that things go awry! (Note: I really struggle with selfishness on both Mother’s Day and my birthday, but that’s another story for another day.)
Start a Banana Bread Apostolate! Here’s a foolproof recipe that I make all the time.
(Cute little delivery person not included.)
Bam! Banana Bread
Ingredients
½ c. butter
1 c. sugar
2 eggs
3 mashed bananas
2 ½ c. flour
1 tsp. soda
½ tsp. salt
½ c. milk
Cream sugar and butter. Add eggs, milk and bananas, then stir in salt, soda and flour. Bake in 2 greased and floured pans at 350 degrees for 1 hour.
*Chocolate chips and/or pecans are optional but encouraged! I triple this recipe and bake it in the silicone mini-loaf baking pan shown.
4. If, like me, you’ve recently lost your own sweet momma, visit her gravesite if you can. If you can’t pay a visit for whatever reason, (and I can’t because my mom is buried in North Dakota), pour out your love and your longing to Mother Mary and she will assist you with all your needs.
5. Finally, please pretty please, steer clear of too much social media, especially late in the day when your reserves are low and maybe, just maybe, your expectations weren’t met.
Because there’s just no way your husband and kids can compete with the 100’s of families in your friends’ list.
I love you, dear Momma, and hope that you have the best weekend EVER! I will be offering my holy hour on Sunday for you, and should you find yourself in need of encouragement or prayer, you can call or text me anytime @ 612.804.7893.
(Although I may not pick up the first time. ; )
What a lovely thoughtful list. I hope you have a very blessed and happy Mother’s Day. Our plans for the day include picking up our daughter from college. 🙂 I hear you on trying not to let expectations get out of hand. Not only is this weekend Mother’s Day, but the next day is our Anniversary and my birthday is a couple of weeks later. I want to make it all about me…. but that is unrealistic and bound to lead to disappointment. Hugs. 🙂
Okay, actually? In your case, it *should* be all about you. What a fun couple of weeks, Christine!
Mother’s Day is never a problem for me in the way that you mentioned mostly because my family does a great job of making me feel appreciated year round (yes, I know I’m spoiled!) but I still think your idea to evict Mother’s Day from the month of May is genius! Seriously. May is the craziest, busiest month of the year! Everything not essential to that month needs to get booted and moved!
Can we get an Amen? Amen!
Mother’s Day is a hard day for so many reasons, including those you mentioned. I wish it would go away entirely. All I ever ask for is that my kids be nice to each other but they usually bring gifts in lieu of…
This year I told my husband all I want is a gallon of paint. Seriously. I want to repaint the downstairs bath and why not give me the goods on Mother’s Day? Time will tell… (yes, I know there are expectations there but I did ask!)
Oh sweetie, don’t wish Mother’s Day away. Let’s work together to redeem it in every way possible for God’s greater glory! Motherhood is hard but you’re not a wimp; indeed, you’ve inspired *this* momma pretty much endlessly.
I love this Margaret. It is funny how you overhear my conversations all those miles away. 🙂 I just got off the phone with my husband who was asking if he could put off mowing until Sunday afternoon – and do I mind. (mowing takes about 4 hrs.) “I can’t read your mind,” he tells me. Ha! I had better take your advice and ask for the day that I would like. Hope your weekend is wonderful!
Betsy, your comment made me laugh out loud. You must have a few acres if it takes hubby 4 hours to mow! I want to come visit. Is that okay?
Oh my, I love this list, Margaret. It’s so perfect and I’m happy I’m reading it today. I have been disappointed in the past because I just hung up such big ideals for “MY” day. In the end, kids were cranky because they didn’t want to do the mom things I wanted to do (go to the greenhouse for hours to look at pretty flowers for instance), so these last few years (and more babies later) it’s more about less expectations.
I will definitely have to re-read this list later on again today.
Love you, dear friend.
I love you too, sweet Sarah. You are in my heart today and always! I’m so glad I’m on this path with you. 💕
SUPERB advice!
I especially love the idea of a banana bread apostolate! I know this would bring me (and many other mamas) joy.