Do you love your husband?
Then love your husband.
Love your husband the way he needs to be loved.
I was at Walmart this morning picking up 4 40-lb bags of water softener salt. (Totally romantic, right?! True love means doing the heavy lifting yourself sometimes.) There were heart-covered vases, heart-bearing teddy bears, and enormous heart-shaped boxes of candy. My personal “favorite” was the box of candy that was emblazoned with a cartoon bikini-ed torso. I wondered, was that for the guy to give to his girl? Or vice-verse?
I thought about Pilate’s “What is truth?” only I changed the words to “What is love?”
Because frankly, at Walmart, it seems a bit tawdry.
I can tell you what my husband thinks love is, and the odds are good your husband agrees.
In other words, how’s your sex life?
I’ll guarantee you, it’s not what the stores would have you think it should be. It’s not a “tit for tat” (slight pun intended); it’s not a “he gives me this; I’ll give him that.”
Marital intimacy is more–much more–that just one day in February.
I’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve had highs and lows and even lower lows; we’ve had laughter, joy, and eleven kids total. Can I speak to you honestly? From the heart and from my experience? The more I give myself to him in the way that he truly needs it…and we’re talking at least bi-weekly, maybe more…
(periods of abstinence being an exception, of course…)
The happier I am, and the better off we are. Ultimately both of our needs get met because as a man, he’s built up. As a result, he goes to bat for me in the ways that I need as a wife and a mom.
I love that he goes to bat for me because being a mom is not at all easy.
Just be careful, is what I’m saying, about turning “love” into a heart-shaped emotion. Love is so much more than that!
Love is self-giving and love is life-giving.
Love is first an act of the will…and after that comes flowers and chocolate.♥
BEAUTIFUL!!!!! So very, very true! I have also been married 21 years (8 children here on earth, 2 in Heaven) and I’m so glad you are speaking these truths which younger wives absolutely need to hear!
Something that has helped me is to adopt St. Ignatius of Loyola’s famous line: “Teach me to GIVE and NOT count the cost.” It is only when we GIVE that we are truly open to receive.
Lovely, thank you Margaret
Thanks for this. Great reminder!! I once read-maybe on this very blog-men need the physical, and women need the emotional. If we wait for them to connect with us emotionally before we give to them physically, we’ll all be empty! If we give to them physically, they’ll give to us emotionally, and we’ll all be full! This rings true in our marriage OFTEN!! Intimacy doesn’t fix things, but lack of intamicy does create unneeded barriers!
Love that man of yours! Thanks for your wisdom and encouragement!!
Very beautiful, although my husband and I have spent the last couple days debating whether bi-weekly means twice a week, or every other… maybe we should reread the rest of it 😉