That’s meant to be a battle cry.
Because…with all the stuff that we got going on? It is a battle, isn’t it? We are constantly choosing and rejecting and deciding. Time online should be RELEVANT.
Which begs the question…
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to keep on blogging?
Because you know what? There are THOUSANDS of blogs.
Anyway, yes, I went on retreat this past weekend. And now I am thinking about my LIFE. Maybe it’s better to be quiet, be silent. Maybe it’s better to just tend to the kids.
I don’t know. I love God. I love you. I love them.
I don’t KNOW.
Postscript: It’s the following morning and I’m going to answer my own question. Of course it’s worth it, so please forgive me the self-indulgence of this post. I’m going to leave it up with the simple explanation that when I get lonely, I shouldn’t blog. I also weaned my baby when I was on retreat, and that has me feeling very sad.
(((hug)))
You think too much.
I *do* think too much, Michelle. We agree on that point!
You beat me to it…I"m quitting soon..or at the very least taking a long break. I have this big post in my head…I like your little post. It is quick and to the point. And what God is saying to you (and me I think) right now. I'm proud of you for taking that step.
Um…wait a minute. While it's okay for me to think about taking a break, it's NOT okay for you. Your blog is one of my favorites, Jamie! You know that, right? And yet, we must listen to His will and try our best to follow…which is why (incidentally) I offered up my Mass for your family yesterday! ♥
Ooooooh, thank you so much Maggie, you are so very sweet. I'll take Mass prayers anytime!
I continue to discern this very issue. I turn to many sources — adoration, spiritual direction, Ignatian Rules for Discernment… In addition there is a simple maxim that takes discernment to a basic level.
The maxim/gem comes from Mother Angelica. She provided one of the simplest models for discernment. Mother Angelica was holding an interview with someone. The question asked went something like this, “How do you know if you are doing God’s work?” Mother Angelica responded, “…Does it give honor and glory to God? Is it for the good of the family? What are the fruits?” These simple, profound, and direct words continue to penetrate me. She went on to explain that we cannot wait for a moment of revelation – we must act in faith. On several occasions she has noted what faith is — “Faith is one foot on the ground, one foot in the air, and a queasy feeling in the stomach.”
Pray, discern, and act in faith!
Trust that you will continue to be in my prayers.
AD JESUM PER MARIAM
The Ignatian Rules for Discernment–yes! And no small coincidence that the retreat I made was based on his Spiritual Exercises.
Thank you, sweet Lena. Your comment helps. ♥
I think balance and moderation is the key. In everything. I think your blog serves a purpose. I would venture to guess maybe it's discerning what to blog about and why. Is it serving God? A friend of mine has a daughter as a novice with the Daughters of St. Paul. They are on FB, Instagram, etc, (not sure if they have a blog? They have a website!), but they have a wonderful example of social media serving God and His will for their life. Now, we are not nuns, we are mothers, but I do believe we can serve the same purpose. I think of Elizabeth Foss and how her blog has helped so many mothers over the years. I think yours does the same. Prayers for you. And melancholics think. Deeply 🙂
It's funny that both you and Lauren (below) mention Elizabeth Foss, because she was one the first writing mommas to bless MY heart. This was in the pre-blogging days after I discovered her book Real Learning at a home school conference–the FIRST home school conference I attended! Her words and philosophy were a huge inspiration.
And then came Danielle Bean and HER beautiful heart and this whole notion of being a blogging momma was born.
And…well…you know the rest of the story from there. ; )
Love to you, dear friend! ♥
Keeping you in my prayers this week, Margaret! Be patient with yourself. Be present to God. He KNOWS! xo
There are many things I stink at, Sarah, and patience is at the top of the list! And it's one thing to be patient with the kids and quite another to be patient with myself. Doubly stinky at that one!!
PS. Thank you thank you for those prayers. ♥
Oh, I know! I should really take my own advice on that one … and I'm trying!! Especially after the retreat, I'm really, really trying! xo
Weaning is always sad for me, too. (((hugs)))
Just my two cents….I rarely comment (mostly because I never have an actual computer and am so ridiculously tech challenged), but I've been following your blog faithfully since 2006 at least. Maybe earlier. I know that because that is when I declined a huge fellowship for grad school and shook up my identity and marriage to the core in doing so. I was pregnant with my 6th child and on a mission to show the world you can have a thriving big family and a fabulous academic career all at once. And maybe you can. All I know is that reading your blog (and Elizabeth Foss') turned my eyes and my heart towards something……better….????? I saw that *I* – not speaking for anyone else – couldn't give my kids what they needed and deserved without being there a lot, lot more. I wanted – maybe needed – domesticity as a vocation, even though I wasn't trained for it, nor really suited for it in any obvious way. So that's what I did. I came home. It was embarrassing and expensive and exhilarating and TOTALLY worth it. I have honestly not looked back since. That is in large part, Margaret, thanks to you. Not even joking. We went on to have two more beautiful kids, and a ninth is due in November – and I am 43! These babies would never have been conceived if not for that radical decision. We had agreed on stopping at six to get going on that career! Moreover, your example of grace and dignity through your losses and longing for "just one more" even in your forties has been my lifeline as I followed just a few steps behind in my own life. You have helped me be brave and centered and prayerful, Margaret. And you have even prayed for me when I asked. I think too much, too, and suffer bouts of extreme self-doubt and melancholy. From you, I have learned to hate myself a little less for this and try to just keep my head up and my wits about me. If you decide one day to quit blogging, I totally get that. And I'm thinking there's something to learn there, too. But I hope you don't. Because the weaning of this next baby will be a doozy, I'm sure, and it helps to know you went there first, and it will all be ok.
Prayers and much love,
Lauren (my real name)
Lauren, you have blessed this momma's heart more than you could possibly know. THANK YOU. ♥
Kind of a novel idea, but you could just blog whenever you felt like it, instead of feeling like you have to, then announcing you're quitting, then coming back the next week (or the next day…) 🙂 We all go through different seasons at different times, and sometimes, we just don't feel like blogging, or don't have time, and that's okay. Don't write when you can't or don't want to, and vice versa. No stress. 🙂
^^^ What she said. And why I think you think too much. It is what it is. You don't owe anybody your writing, unless you are getting paid to do it, which you aren't. No apologies. No drama. Just write if you want to and it doesn't conflict with what you have to do.
Except I wouldn't be ME without the drama and stress. : )
LOL
I am praying that your "sadness" is actually just very deep emotion and a truly sincere gratitude for God and the silence you achieved at your retreat. Moms of young and many are not accustomed to silence, and I think sometimes it's scary because what has been suppressed in the busyness of our simmering lives comes bubbling up to the surface. Feelings we are not accustomed to recognizing. And then you are released from retreat and back into the busyness of life and those feelings and emotions are rather exposed. No?
Not to mention those post-weaning hormones. Give yourself a break, doll. And instead of blogging when you are lonely, call me. We can pretend it's margaritas on the deck. 🙂