A couple of months ago, I got an email from a journalist who works for Minnesota Parent magazine. They were doing an issue on “Back to School” and wanted to include homeschoolers.
This issue is currently “on the stands”. Which stands? you’re wondering. I couldn’t tell you. I found my copy in the lobby at our pediatrician’s office.
And then I grabbed another three for the grandparents.
“Back to School when School is Home” is the name of the article and there are even photos of all my little Minnesota Momlets. The article includes the perspective of several different homeschooling families and is not a bad little piece, though I admit I worried a bit about the way it ended.
The journalist closed with a quote from me: “For us, it’s a lifestyle to be together all day long. Going back to school does not mean losing the kids.” Did I really say that, I asked myself, because it seems…I don’t know…a little negative. As in, people who don’t homeschool are losing their kids every September. I hope my words don’t come off that way, because the fact is…
I’m losing my oldest son to a school—a private school just up the road, with friends & lockers & sports & other teachers. That’s right. In three weeks’ time he’ll go out that door and be gone from 8:00 to 3:00.
My right hand man! My helper!
Maybe I did make that crack about losing the kids, because it’s not a question of how Joe will do. It’s a question of how *I* will.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
I'm guessing you meant that for those of us with kids in school, back to school means losing a big block of time with them each day. When you homeschool, you get to keep that 8 hour chunk of time together, even if much of it is spent schooling.
Will be praying for you as #1 son goes off this fall. When is his first day of school?
My first of two posts yesterday allude to losing your kids. My oldest went back to public school last year . . . the younger two went back this year . . . and yesterday was very quiet and lonely . . . I went to Target (the store is new here on O'ahu) . . . we are new here and I do not know but one other person (and she's at work). Without the kids … it takes time to get used to that silence and inactivity and to find other ways to fill the time, yeah? I have never been the kind of mom to say, "When will vacation end so I can have the house to myself?!:?" I love my kids . . . and never want them to feel like I resent them. 🙂
I'll be thinking of you and praying for you often as you make this transition, which will surely feel strange at least at first.
If you can do it without compromising your oldest's privacy, tell us all how it goes — even if only at the level of logistics. I'm sure there are plenty of homeschoolers who wonder if school-for-one-or-more-kids is in their future, and what it would be like to introduce that constraint into the family's schedule.
How neat!
Good luck to you on that transition … hopefully it will be a great one.
I understood what you were saying. I always mourned that first day back, when the house was quiet again. But, now I go back to school every Septmember. Geeze, I can't win, can I ?
I'll be thinking of you on that first day, Margaret. We've made the decision to send my dd to ps next year (2010) (she's very excited). I'm already sad! Hopefully, ds will be home a few more years.
I saw your family in the article. I never pick up that magazine but I saw the title of the homeschool article on the front. I thought it was very nicely done! Kuddos!
I hope you're right about the not losing your kids, Margaret. My two oldest (6th and 7th graders) will be starting school this year at our parish middle school. I just filled out my 'Declaration of Intent to Homeschool' with only one name listed. It is a little scary!
When my oldest son started kindergarten it was very important to us that he attend the Catholic school in our parish. (Great amazing school.) I was somewhat narrow in my choices back then….I didn't even consider homeschooling. If I had to do it over again I would HS. I never could have anticipated how much I would miss him or how much I would feel like I was missing out on by not being part of his daily school experiences. So yes, still, after four years it feels like I am "losing them." Is it to late to start homeschooling? I am asking myself this more and more. Kelly in TX
I know you didn't mean what you said about "losing" your children to school, but as someone who sends her children to school (gladly, for they love it too!), it has the effect of making me feel like less of a mom, wondering if I'm the only person out there who thinks too much togetherness leads to too much bickering and too much involvement in petty parts of my childrens' lives. Why is it considered "taboo" to discuss a mother's need for some down time without the children in tow? I do miss my children when they are gone all day long. By 3:30 I am happy to see them again and hear about their day. I'm also happy that they have a little life of their own.
In my experience, discussing a mom's need for downtime is less taboo than discussing homeschooling!
I don't HS but I certainly miss my kids while they're at school. Sure I need downtime, but 7-3:30p is too long to be away from my 6yo. For better or worse, I'm abdicating almost all of my authority during that time. No part of my child's life is petty; if they're bickering with each other or other kids, they need to be corrected, and while a teacher certainly does this, it's me who holds the highest behavior standard for my children.
If I HSed, I'd certainly set aside money for childcare to get regular kid-free time. But too much togetherness just isn't a problem for me — esp. with all the extracurricular activities competing with family time– and that does not make me a better mom, it's just what we've sort of grown into as a family. Sure, there are cons to that, and there's tons of positives to going to school. But there are pros to being together most days, too. Anyway, you shouldn't feel like a lesser mom for sending your kids to school. I definitely think it's the best option for most families.