A Cautionary Tale
One of my favorite things to do for a postpartum mommy is to take her other kids for the day so she can rest. This is such a fun Christian apostolate and is far preferable to, say, caring for the lepers on Molokai or having one’s fingers chewed off by the natives.
I’m such a wimp that way.
So when a friend from church had a new baby this past August, (yes, I’ve been hanging onto this story that long), I asked her to call me on a day when she really needed some “me” time. “Just you and that beautiful baby,” I told her. “We’d be happy to watch your other two girls while you rest.”
And then I made her promise not to spend the whole day folding laundry.
Unless that really was her thing.
She dropped off Anna and Julia at 10:30 and we all oohed and aahed over the newborn. She thanked me—profusely, to my embarrassment—for what I was doing and asked if I had any questions.
“No, not really,” I replied, as I reluctantly handed back her baby so she could leave. “Oh, wait—I guess I do! Are there any allergies?”
Yes, in fact, there was one. A peanut allergy on the part of Anna.
Yikes.
I winced because peanut allergies scare me. Two of my close friends have peanut allergies in their families and I know that they are serious…as in EpiPens and air passages closing and frantic trips to the ER.
With a smile that wavered every so slightly, I said “Alrighty then. I’ll drop the girls off after supper. ”
And then I barred my children from PB & J’s that day.
“Mom,” my oldest son argued. “I’ll take it in my room and wash my hands when I’m done.” He’s a huge fan of PB & J. The deprivation hit him the hardest.
“No. No way. You touch it and you’re dead, kid.” (There was irony in that statement, of course, but I didn’t care.)
We made it the whole day without a hitch. I did have to call up my friend a couple of times—“Are ice cream cones okay? How about pretzels?”—but for the most part things went really well until…little Anna said she felt itchy. Sure enough, a rash was emerging on the back of her knees and she had puffy red welts under both eyes.
My biggest fear had come to pass. What had I done? What should I do? I phoned my friend yet again.
“You know, it should be okay,” she reassured me. “Give her some Benadryl and call me if things get worse.”
Thankfully they didn’t. Anna’s condition improved within the hour and I was able to keep the girls until the evening as originally planned. Still I wondered: what had I done? I’d been so cautious and couldn’t help but feel badly.
I was still apologizing when I dropped them off. “Don’t worry about it,” her husband said kindly. “It’s hard to say what could have happened.” Then, almost as an afterthought, he said, “You’ve got a Golden Retriever, right? Did Anna maybe touch the dog food?”
“I don’t think so…”
I was thinking hard at that point, and then—in a flash—it came back to me. Ellie giving kisses to Anna as Anna laughed happily. Me giving Ellie her pill that morning—early in the morning, before I knew that Anna & Julia were coming—hidden within a dollop of…
…peanut butter.
Mystery solved. Case closed.
Next time, I’ll use cheese whiz.
(Is that okay? Please tell me that’s okay.)
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
It’s okay! Allergies are soooo hard. We don’t have food allergies, but my oldest is HIGHLY allergic to cats. One night, she came back from Little Flowers, and she was sneezing, and scratching herself, and her asthma started kicking in a bit. I was perplexed because it was winter so I know the outside pollen wasn’t bothering her (she has a high oak allergy…and we’re surrounded by oak…great parents, aren’t we, huh???). For over an hour I’m thinking, “What is bothering this kid? Is she developing a food allergy??? Oh no! What am I going to do?” Then, as I was putting her to bed, and she was telling me about her night, it hit me. I asked her if they house she went to that night had a cat. “Yeah!” she smiled.”They had three!” Nice, huh?! BTW, I hate EpiPens. We have to bring one to every allergy shot visit (once a week) “just in case”. I remember the first time they gave it to me, I wanted to give it back because the thought of having to use it scared the fire out of me.
OH, we have had to deal with some of that too.. Madeleine has a milk allergy – not anaphylactic thank goodness. We are not doing any nuts with her until the age of 2. We do have an epi pen because once I gave her a bite of my cookie at Borders and she immediately got hives on the back of her neck. It is really scary!
It’s o.k.
Peanut allergies are hard ones. I have a peanut/tree nut allergic kid. It’s not as hard on a daily basis as, say, a wheat allergy, but because it’s life-threatening, it’s scary.
My biggest fear is people (usually family members) who just don’t think it is that serious. They bring food with nuts and then say, “He can’t have this.” Not that he gets upset that he can’t have it, but accidental ingestion is the biggest reason people die of food allergies.
You knocked yourself out making it safe for her — and I don’t think anyone ever died from having dog saliva on their skin — even with a little peanut butter on it. Skin is pretty tough stuff.
My brother and his fiancee (now wife) were visiting. My brother had my second daughter on his lap. Not long after she started to get those huge welts on her legs. It turns out he used to carry peanuts in the side pocket of his camera case where he was storing his phone. He felt as badly as you’re feeling. It’s really okay.
You are sooo sweet for taking the other children. What a blessing you are.
PS I hate the epi-pens too. All 3 girls have peanut allergies.
This happens all the time to us. But I didn’t know about dog food – are there peanuts in there? That could solve a mystery for us. Thanks for posting this.
Ahh, I had to chuckle a bit about the dog and the peanut butter pill. Don’t we all panic when we take care of kids with allergies (epi-pen kids)? I’m a registered backup daycare provider and went through training on how to administer the epi-pen. It’s not so bad. It’s feeling bad for the person/child who’s suffering. Plus, after using the pen they still need an abulance. Fun stuff. I hope to never have to give it.
I would have done the same as you: no peanut butter anywhere. I had to do that for a Tiger Cub Den (as the leader) one year.
I never even heard of peanut allergies until I was an assistant teacher at a Montesorri school, that little boy had the epipen and all. It was so scary. (that was 13 years ago) Now, it seems there are allergies everywhere. I am SO thankful we are so healthy. What a hard thing to live with.
Having Type 1 Diabetes, as a child, I remember aunts coming and saying things like what Barbara said “Oh, sorry, you can’t have this” I hated that as a kid. You were so very nice to those girls, I’m sure they will remember that day for a long time!!
It’s OK. You certainly went above and beyond implementing a safe environment.
I have serious (EpiPen) tree-nut allergies, and during a visit to Costco, my children tried a sample of a food product that had been prepared on a surface that may have once held tree nuts. The woman who doled out the samples told the kids to make sure they didn’t kiss me until they had gotten a chance to brush their teeth and then wash their hands to cut down on any chance of an allergic reaction.
On another note, a local family had a child who had a serious allergy to peanuts, and parents at the boy’s elementary school were told no more peanut butter sandwiches for lunch at school. Apparently, a few days after the meeting, the family found a bag of peanuts in their driveway. After that, the school implemented a peanut-butter table at the opposite end of the lunchroom for chidlren who had to eat the food.
You sound exactly like me! My nephew has some serious allergies too. When we watch him, have a party for him, or anything, I make a ton of calls to my sister to find out about this and that, and I try to serve the food that will be ok.
I am EXTRA cautious because one of his first bad attacks was at MY house – I gave him a bib to use which I thought was cleaned well. Well, as it turned out, not so much – he had a huge attack of hives all over his little neck, poor thing. I was so embarrassed and upset that I caused such a reaction. It was actually good for my family to see it, because we all could see how serious it was, and we learned to be more careful.
You sound like you did a great job! Good detective work.
Apparently, a few days after the meeting, the family found a bag of peanuts in their driveway. After that, the school implemented a peanut-butter table at the opposite end of the lunchroom for chidlren who had to eat the food.
Oh, that’s just creepy.
I’ll admit that banning peanut butter from an elementary school is a little extreme (my soon-to-be-aunt works in a Canadian day care center and they’re nut-free), but putting a bag of peanuts in the family’s driveway is just not cricket.
I hope whoever did it never has to deal with a life-threatening allergy to something as ubiquitous as peanuts.
Hi Margaret
That is a lovely thing to do for a new mum. I hope she fed and slept the day away with her baby until you returned her girls. Recharging the batteries and taking a load off is so important for mums with young babies.
Thankfully, we do not have any allergies in our family. I count our blessings.
Cheers – Joolz
Allergies, allergies! This reminds of the bagel party I had in my class last Easter. As I was buttering and cream cheesing the bagels, I suddenly started breaking out in hives, and feeling woozy. A few months before I had started a gluten free diet. I never thought “just” touching them would do that to me. This was a big eye opener. This year I have a peanut allergy in my class. We are extra careful about birthday parties. We only give her cupcakes that are Mom approved. Usually the parents are kind enough to let us know what brand of cake mix and icing they use, or send in the ingredient label of the treat they are sending in. Most times her Mom sends in a “safe” snack just to be sure.