The road to hell may well be paved with good intentions. In my case, however, it will also be lined with innumerable little hurts and grievances that I simply refused to relinquish.
Case in point? That stupid dragon cake. I joked about how I didn’t forgive my husband for not taking a picture of it when in truth, that was the truth. I was just that petty and little and ridiculous to have convinced myself that for him to not have taken a proper photograph after I had politely requested him to do so (and after all that hard work!) was to insult me, plain and simple. It was to not love me, really, as I am truly meant to be loved.
Oh please.
Anyway, I am sure that you would never be guilty of such unreasonable behavior.
The next morning found me feeling miserable, of course. As I sat there alone in my bedroom praying for the consolation and the strength to just get over myself, I picked up my bedside companion and opened it at random.
These were the words I read:
A quid pro quo or tit for tat approach to life drains the joy out of giving and is a seed bed for anger and festering resentments. Conversely, we experience the joy of giving when we give freely. Perhaps “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7) because the person who gives freely of himself or herself is cheerful. And God wants nothing more than for us to enter into His joy (p. 182).
Thank you, God, for sending me an author who understands! That was all that this 41-year-old needed to grow up.
By the way, I really like this book for its commentary by the author. Not quite satisfied with the snippet above, I went back a page to see the source of his reflections. Tell me you do that, too!
Here it is:
Pauline’s feelings were once hurt because she rendered a service to one of the nuns and did not receive thanks. Therese responded, “I assure you, I too experience the feelings you are speaking about. However, I don’t allow myself to be trapped by it, for I expect no reward at all on earth. I do everything for God, and in this way I can lose nothing” (p. 181).
Amen. Perhaps I can redo that road I’m on…even yet.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
thank you for this, Margaret. Also, keeping you in my prayers as you journey along this road of healing and for your little ones in Heaven to be close to their siblings on earth throughout their days.
Carpe Diem…Seize the Day! You are totally human and I like that about you and your blog.
Oh, I know I would have hung onto that one for sure. What is the book?
I am feeling like that right now, tit for tat with my hubby, lots to pray about tonight!
If you click on the words “my bedside companion” you’ll see the book, Jamie. It’s The Story of a Soul, the “study” edition.
Goodness knows I’m learning from it!
Wow, I needed that reminder. That is such wonderful, selfless advice.
Oh boy, did I ever need to read that today! Yet another reason why I LOVE St. Therese. She is my buddy for sure.
Even so, you crack me up. I love it when we have little moments of perfect clarity (and from the Saints, no less).
God bless you.
I second Christine’s comment. You are so real and honest. I, too, love that about you.
We’ll just keep reading your blog and see a photo of next year’s dragon cake!
St. Therese gets me every time. Her words never cease to grab me just where I need to be grabbed!
I think we all have things like that. (Well, I know I do, and I’m so hoping I’m not the only one!) I think the most important thing is to realize when we’ve held onto something we shouldn’t have and to let it go…I suppose it’s too much to hope that someday I might not hold onto it to begin with? 🙂
Yes, yes, yes!
ANd you must read I Believe in Love. It has a nugget at every turn to keep me humble and grateful for His passion!
Therese is my hero.
Thank you for sharing the particular quote as I tend to get that way as well!
Here’s the link to the book that Stacey recommends. It looks to be a good one!
Reminds of Christ in the Gospel: “I have come to serve, not to be served”. This is also on my mind because my spiritual director told me that I should keep it as my motto, to help keep me on track. Ouch!
I recently wrote about this very same subject. I am a giver, by nature. I think most women/moms are. Yet, I’m also someone who too often expects kudos for all my giving or in the very least for people (especially my hard-working hubby) to reciprocate.
But as I wrote on my post, this “I scratch your back, then you scratch mine” isn’t the right approach at all. Jesus never kept score. (I hope he still doesn’t. Otherwise, the scoreboard is looking grim. It’s maybe 1 point for Kate and a gazillion for the Big Guy). I shouldn’t either. When I choose to do something nice for a friend or anyone, I shouldn’t look for something in return. I can take this a step further and recognize that it’s the giving that’s important, not the tax write-off or the pat on the back for our generosity that matters. It’s human nature for us to want others to be aware of the kind deeds (or magnificent cakes we create:) ) we do or the money we give to those who are less fortunate.
However, I believe what God really wants out of us is to give out of love, not obligation, not because we want to be recognized, not even because we want to earn a spot in heaven. Yes, this life is all about looking heavenward, but I still say that the easiest path to holiness is to do things out of love, not fear or duty or wanting anything in exchange for our acts other than God’s friendship.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder, Margaret. Oh, and don’t you love all those little “coincidences” in life. God gives me wake-up calls all the time when I seemingly randomly pick up a spiritual book to read or when a friend sends me some thoughts for the day. It’s always amazing how often these words are just what I need to hear.
At any rate, sorry for the lengthy comment! I’ve just started stopping by your blog and it’s wonderful and inspiring. God bless you!