I hit bottom on Holy Thursday and yet, today, I’m feeling joyful.
Do you need me to go into all my obsessive-addictive failures? Probably not, because I’m sure you all have your own transgressions, unless—unless—you’re one of those perfectly penitential people I so admire.
I am not perfectly penitential. In fact, I pretty much stink at Lent.
I stink at Lent because I am one of the most sensual people I know. I use food and drink to deal with stress and even if I’m not stressed, I still overeat. I would do well in King Henry’s court! (provided I was a Lord or a Lady & not a court jester) And then, in addition to my pleasure-seeking personality, I also struggle with depression & anxiety and must take a 20-mg Happy Pill to keep me balanced.
All that said…
I am happy to report that for the first time ever, I’ve had a good Lent despite my weakness! I hope the same for you, dear friend, because our God loves us so much that He died for us and we don’t have to be perfect to merit this love. For all these years, I’ve gotten it backwards, thinking, “My Lent is never good enough,” although if it were good enough—at least, according to my own distorted perception—then I would be struggling with pride and self-satisfaction.
He’s keeping me weak for a reason, you see.
I need Him. I need Him. God, how I need Him.
* * *
In other happy (and light-hearted) news, we got a new refrigerator!
Ain’t she a beaut? I’ve only just started to fill her up, but I’m thinking I just might leave the shelves empty.
My future obsessive self will thank me. 😉