The Blah-Blah-Blog Edition
So I’ve been thinking back wistfully to the days when I used to update daily. Do you perhaps remember that? My eyes would pop open around 5:00 a.m. and I would bound out of bed, thinking, “I get to go write a blog post!”
And off I’d go, quite happily, to brew a cup of coffee and jot down my thoughts.
Not so, these days—not so. Blearily I pry open my eyes —this around 7:15 or so—to the silhouette of my son standing in the doorway. “Mom?” he whispers, soft but insistent. “Will you be ready to take us to school in fifteen minutes?”
And off I go, quite heavily, to brew a cup of coffee and…not much else.
(It’s an 8-mos-pregnant thing, I’m sure. It’s an I’m-46-and-8-mos-pregnant! thing.)
(What was God thinking? I know He knows.)
Well, in any case I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other things to do than worry about my daily updates. Therefore, I am conveniently abridging the past two weeks—giving you the “best of the best”, as it were, or in some cases, “This is worse than I hoped it’d be.”
“Worse” without being truly horrible, you know?
So here goes.
I. Two weeks ago, I didn’t have to worry about all the sweets that I ate.
Not anymore, I’m humbled to say! Not anymore.
Two Thursdays ago, on October 4th, I failed that darned 2-hour Glucose test. By one lousy point! My doctor told me that I had two choices: one, go to a diabetes clinic and learn how to keep my numbers down; or two, pick up a glucose monitoring kit at the pharmacy and monitor my levels at home.
I chose Option Number 2, and such fun it’s been, dear Internet friend! Four times a day, I get to poke my finger….and four times a day, I record the results. My doctor said to do one reading straightaway in the morning. This would be my “fasting level” and should be a number less than 90. The other three tests are taken an hour after eating, and should be a number less than 140.
So far so good! My levels have been low enough that my doctor said I could reduce the testing to twice a day. This is NOT to say that I’m off the hook, however, and I know this because of yesterday. I woke from an afternoon nap and was craving, of all ridiculous things, a wee little bowl of Cap’n Crunch.
(Please don’t judge me.)
So I poured myself a wee little bowl and it was so very delicious that I thought I’d have another wee bowl. BIG mistake. I checked my level an hour later and it was 12 points higher than it should be. My husband was impressed, I know, and is starting to think about his food choices.
(He had two much larger bowls of Cap’n Crunch for breakfast.)
(And aren’t I a little tattletale?)
Lesson learned. I am back to having protein for snacks and am avoiding that Cap’n like the plague.
II. One week ago, I had a spunky/sparky/sassy 7-year-old.
Not anymore! Angela turned 8 on the 11th and she didn’t even ask permission.
Her cake was made by her sister Cate, who very cleverly baked up two different cake mixes—one dark chocolate, one french vanilla—then added orange food coloring to the vanilla batter. Voilà! A very Halloween-y black & orange pumpkin cake.
(I thought about having a generous slice then remembered those pesky glucose strips.)
(So I gave my slice to the little guy in my tummy.)
III. Four days ago, I was not too worried about having this baby. And then I read this post by Calah.
BIG mistake.
First of all, my heart went out to that poor sweetie. My heart went out to her and came back to me, leaden with fear over all that might be. Like Calah, I do not want to have an epidural because, mainly, we don’t have insurance and also we are fond of meals.
(As in, those epidurals are really pricey.)
And yet…and yet…I’d kind of been banking on that epidural because—perhaps selfishly—I figure I’ve been through enough this pregnancy and don’t know that I’ll have the emotional reserves to go through labor naturally.
No insurance + no emotional reserves = getting squished + a rock + a hard place.
This is not where I want to be mentally! Not with only two months to go! So I’m praying more to St. Gerard and am talking to John about getting a doula. I figure that this is a good first start.
Better than a bowl of Cap’n Crunch, even.
Right?! Of course, right.
Margaret, big hugs! Those finger pointers hurt, and you do have to think so much about what you are eating and deny those cravings (which are SOOOO strong during pregnancy!). I had to do insulin both my pregnancies and it was noooo fun.
Cereal is just really bad, too many carbs. My endo said no one, even non-diabetics, should be eating dry cereal because it's so starchy. Good to know. That and fruit juices! So, ice cream is better because it has fat and slower processes the carbs than cake or other baked goods. Chocolate would be the same. I'm just saying — because sometimes you just GOTTA have that treat.
But lots of protein is key…prayers for your long last days of your pregnancy! The bonus and prize is at the end!
OH, poor Maggie!! I'll keep you close in prayer these last few weeks….
Add some protein, if you can, like a cheese stick or something like that…egg mcmuffin(homemade kind) something high in protein and lower in carbs….for breakfast especially.
Hey, at least you are not a type 1 diabetic, having to test 8-10 times per day! All kidding aside, I do feel sorry for you gestational people, because it's thrown at you towards the end, with only a couple months left….it's hard, but so worth it for that baby. A baby born used to high sugars just doesn't do good.
You can do it!!!!
Sending love and hugs
Margaret,
I don't know what your previous deliveries were like, but you know your own experiences.
I've only been blessed with 2 children and my labors and deliveries were like night and day. With my first, I ended up with some Pitocin because things were moving slowly, but I had started labor on my own. I finally had an epidural, not because I asked for it but because my OB thought that perhaps the baby would come down better if I was able to relax more. In the end I had an emergency C-section because he went into distress — the umbilical cord was blocking him from coming down. In the end, he was safe and healthy, and I recovered from surgery. But I do wish I'd had more nurse explanations about post-delivery (being a first time mom and all). Our son slept a LOT that first day and I didn't know I was supposed to wake him to nurse — I think he had a harder time clearing the meds. I don't regret it at all — we did what we needed to so he would be healthy! (And he's now 14 and taller than I am.) But it was overwhelming.
My second was completely the opposite. I had a natural VBAC. The advice to take one contraction at a time was so important for me mentally and physically in getting through it — that and walking as long as I could early in labor, then a long time in a hot shower pointed at my back later. The difference for me following delivery was amazing — I was alert, could get up and walk, the baby was alert and awake more.
Calah had a really hard time of it in so many ways. Like you, I pray for her. But — as hard as this is — try not to dwell on it or take that fear into your heart.
I'm sure each of your deliveries have been different in some ways. But barring something drastically different with the baby's position, there's no reason to think your experience would be anything like Calah's.
Praying for you and baby. St. Girard, St. Anne, and our Blessed Mother to watch over you and keep you safe throughout labor and delivery.
(Sorry this is long. I remember how easy it was for me to obsess over every birth story I read.)
On a more practical note, have you looked into whether or not your family can be added to a family plan for low income since your husband lost his job? It's worth the protection for you all (we've done it). Also speak to the hospital ahead of time about self-paying (if you can't get coverage) and see if there's any plan there for helping low-income families. Take whatever assistance you can to protect yourself, your baby, and the whole family. The economy is in a mess and many people are out of work.
Now natural childbirth is not so bad. It's no treat, unless you're one of those women who is all empowered or whatever. But it's doable. Get yourself a good Bradley birth, use your brain, and get yourself through with your husband's help.
Also, this being your 7th baby, your body has a sense of what it needs to do! Just go with it, trust it, and keep the dang needles (nay, catheters!) out of your spine. They're not that great anyway.
And furthermore, for sure you'll have lots of graces flowing your way from all of us praying for you. Be hopeful! You know who sends discouragement!!! Defeat him!
Hi Minnesota Mom,
I had gestational diabetes for my 5th kiddo, and I was only 44….you are a rock-star as far as I am concerned!
Please take a few minutes to look up "pain-free birth" and read some of the ideas. I'll second the idea of Bradley, and if you really like the person you have chosen to be your doula, that is great! I had one amazing doula (4th) and a lame one (5th)-< I actually felt like it was MORE work to have the extra person….total waste of 500 dollars IMO>..
I also checked out "Hypnobirthing" from the library–free, and it has a guided meditation in it on CD. Some of the ideas are just amazing (like calling contractions *surges* and saying "not pain, but pressure" and likening the changes to a flower opening) A few of the extra ideas are a bit new-agey for me, but I took what helped and I would do it again….
Your body is now like a "well-oiled machine" and knows JUST what to do!
You can do it! God bless you all!
Sincerely,
Donna l.
Having a natural childbirth means forgoing things like Pitocin! I understand that sometimes it's necessary, but then the epidurals are a natural progression from there. I had 3 babies at home and 3 in the hospital. I had pitocin with the last 2 hospital births, and the interesting thing is that those labors were completely different from each other. With #5, I begged the midwife to give me the smallest amount possible (because I was justifiably afraid of it), and it worked. She said it was a ridiculously low dose that she'd never used before (knowing she could raise it gradually) and she never needed to raise it. It did exactly what was needed without making me lose control, though I could still tell the difference. With #6 a different midwife ignored my request and past history and gave me a normal dose which they raised every 15 minutes without regard to how well (or badly) I was handling the pain. I finally yelled at the nurse to stop when she came in to turn it up again! I hid in the bathroom for a long time after that which should not be necessary—unless that's where you want to be!
Sorry for the long comment, but pitocin can be scary stuff and without insurance you should start by avoiding *that* at all costs. If you can't afford a doula, even a very good friend with lots of experience would be a help. Some husbands are awesome, some just don't get it. I'd want a doula. 😉
Stay away from the sugar and keep us posted. You know we'll all be praying for you!
Okay, I just read her ordeal and it sounds pretty scary. DON'T read stuff like that any more. You don't need it!
I think the epidural caused all of that. She also was in the middle of "transition" when she wanted to give up and not even try. It's just one of the stages. It's totally normal to feel lost, scared and weak!
I prayed for my children's purity with each wave (I was on pitocin, too) and it was hard, with almost no time to breathe. But, it was a short time, and my little one was totally worth it!
Oh Margaret, praying for you!
Yeah, those test strips can be such a pain. I had to do that with my fifth pregnancy. I was able to keep my levels down by just controlling my diet, but I still had a 9 lbs 1 oz baby. Which really was not that bad considering the one before was 10 lbs 5 oz.
Did you ever see my confession of "dirty eating" when I ate Cap'n Crunch Berries for dinner in my first trimester? Believe me, I understand you. 🙂
I, too, have concerns this pregnancy that are greatly weighing me down. I've been praying for you and your wee one already every night during family prayers, but I will be sure to offer up some of my own fears for your intentions and peace of mind. God bless you, Margaret.
Margaret, I will be praying extra hard for you and your family over the next few weeks! After my transplant I had to go on insulin/bg testing, and it was not fun. Fortunately that just ended today (yay!) but I can very much relate to buying the test strips (which insurance wouldn't cover for me, grrr) and all the crap that goes with it.
Keep on keeping on, and know that people are praying HARD for you!
I'm a doula in Houston. If you don't know a doula in your area I can help get you some recommendations. They are so worth it! And often, if money is tight, you can find someone in training to do it free or reduced. =o)
This baby will be really really good after all you're going through!!
Oh. So maybe you shouldn't read my birth story…not that I have finished writing it. I have recovered from natural childbirth, but for a while there swore that I would never do that again.
Cheesecake. I've had GD w/ nos. 2, 5, and 6, and all three times at least one nurse told me cheesecake will do the least damage to your blood sugar levels. :o)
Excellent advice, Wendy. Off to purchase 4 blocks of cream cheese… 🙂
I might know a doula in your area. I'll email you. Keep your chin up!
I should have added that I was amazed that I was able to do the VBAC naturally. I was never a fanatic about avoiding meds, just decided to try to do without if I could. Then there was an amazing feeling that this is what my body could do. Yes it hurt, but it was manageable (one at a time) and feeling clear headed afterward was worth it to me.
People asked me afterward "Why" I didn't ask for meds. I don't know that I had a reason (I'd had them all the first time by necessity). But I wish I'd had the opportunity to try it again another time!
Hi Margaret,
I was so worried about delivery with my last baby (number 4). Really major anxiety. But at adoration one day I had the overwhelming sense that Divine Mercy would get me through. I bought a Divine Mercy chaplet cd and played it in the hospital room and it brought such amazing peace. (If you want the cd, I'll send it to you) It was by far the best birth experience I ever had. There were other things that helped me too (like the birth ball!) but I credit trusting in our Lord's Divine Mercy the most. No need to worry – He's got you.
God bless you!
Doula yes, yes, and yes. I had my 1st epidural after 5 natural births with midwives. This time around, I wanted to stay with Dr A at AALFA. (I wanted to bask in his prolifeiness you know, after losing 4 pregnancies before this and having all of those others tell me it was because I was too old) it was so horrid. I didn't even see Dr Prolife until I was ready to push. And that's the easy part. It's getting to that stage that kills you. So, anyway, I went for an epidural. Really really bad choice. The epi doc "wet tapped" me. Worst decision of my life. Enough said.
Do you know that st joes has a birthing tub suite their midwives use?
I've never used a doula, but I can only imagine its the next best thing to a midwife and 100% better than the alternative! I'm totally dedicated to AAlfa, but they need to add a midwife or a doula! You work on that over the next month, will ya?!
As for the sugar? It's like crack, right? Or at least I think it must be because I really don't know that first hand. The only way to combat it for me is to eat something every 2hrs. Not big meals, just like 2oz protein and some veggies or a cheese stick and nuts or such.
Best wishes to you!!!!
You've given me plenty to think about, everyone, and I thank you for taking the time to comment!
If I lived in MN I'd be your doula for free! I've driven to do births for friends but TX-MN is a bit too far 😛
You should be able to find a doula for an affordable cost, maybe free or who will barter.
I opted for an epidural with my last baby, #10, after spending 3 weeks in the hospital before his birth. My emotional, spiritual and physical reserves were tapped. I had no stamina after weeks and weeks of bedrest. even WITH insurance I felt guilty for our portion of the fee after our last baby at the same hospital with same doc was unmedicated and actually pretty nice but I just could't/didn't want to do it this time.
Don't make decisions based on $$. do what is right for you and your little man. Money will work itself out in time.
Just have to say that I have had good experience with epidurals. I had three natural births, then two with pitocin that I opted for the epidural, even though I swore I never would. I was so much more rested after the deliveries with the epidurals. So I can see the good and bad of both, but don't be afraid of it because of someone else's bad experience – mine were both very good. Prayers for your peace of mind!!
Prayers for you and baby and family and work and everything. Lois in Indy
Praying for you Margaret. You seem like such a strong woman. If you have had natural labors before you can do it again. Yes, it is difficult, but women have been doing it for thousands of years. YOU CAN DO IT! For me I wasn't just concerned about pain or no pain. Stamina or no stamina. Or what might happen to ME. I didn't want to fill my baby up with medication. Babies do get side effects from epidurals. I don't think people know about that. I had epidurals for my first two births and the pain being gone was a great thing…yes…but it also changes things for bonding. When you have a baby naturally you release oxytocin. The same hormone that is released during orgasm. Funny I know! But, that hormone is the LOVE hormone and it creates a bond between Mother and child. It's just the way God made our bodies. Go with it. I know that when I had my last 3 babies I offered up all of those waves of pain for different deceased family members, the baby, and other family. It really helped get me through it. Offer it up for yourself too. I take any chance I can to get out of purgatory. LOL. God will give you the strength. So cheaper, healthy for Mom, healthy for baby, Love bond-You can do it Margaret! We are all praying for you!
Read this too.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/136961-epidural-side-effects-baby/
Oh, dear! That probably was not the best thing to read while 8 months pregnant. Just for a different perspective, I had all of my babies naturally, not because I was just so Mrs. Natural, but because there are no hospitals in Japan that offer epidurals, and none at all in my area. I was induced with two of them – the first, after 26 hours of unproductive labor, and the last, which was scheduled. I honestly did not think that the induced ones were worse than the other two. The midwives here are very carefully to go slowly, and the labors were not more painful, though they were longer than the other two, of course.
I will be praying for you, Margaret!
Wish you were using the monitor I have and I would send you my extra test strips…
And wish I lived there and I would be your doula for free!
You are so inspiring. I thought was getting old and rickety with my pregnancy at 31. You rock.
Im with Kerry….my daughter is a type 1 and we have wonderful insurance that covers the strips. They are so overpriced. Any how I would share them as well if we used the same type. I pray that your labor is easy as I am a chicken and only have my babies with the epidural. I usually start begging for one at 3 cint. 🙂
I will also keep you guys in my prayers in general. You guys are such a wonderful Catholic family and are such a wonderful example for the rest of us.
Katie
Poor you — I completely relate to the anxiety.
I can really second the hypnotherapy idea. I used a cd called Antenatal Hypnotherapy before number 5 and I can honestly say that labour was (almost) enjoyable. I felt totally in control. Mind you, it did only take 2 hours and only 1 push!!
Everything will be fine!
Elizabeth H.
Margaret, I rarely comment, but just thought I'd throw this out there, fwiw. Have you by any chance been trying to follow a low carb diet during this pregnancy? Even imperfectly? (Carb cravings always hit me severely when pregnant…)
This may have nothing to do with your situation, but I found out during my last pregnancy (at a mere 41) that low carb diets can really mess with your glucose tolerance test. I had always been hypoglycemic for my previous 7 pregnancies, but failed the one-hour on my eighth. I completely freaked out at first, and was terrified to do the three-hour because the one-hour had always made me sick.
Anyway, I wondered if being mostly paleo for a little over a year had anything to do with why my body suddenly couldn't handle large amounts of sugar anymore. Googled it, and found that lots of women had the same problem. Some recommended (careful) carb-loading several days prior to the 3hr test. I tried it, and it worked like a charm, making sure to test my blood glucose several times a day leading up to the test just to see how my body reacted. Well, each day my numbers improved some, and I passed the test with awesome numbers. My doctor was mystified. What had happened was my body had seriously down-regulated insulin production, even though I gave in to pregnancy cravings quite a bit. But it easily stepped up production when I began eating "normal" amounts of carbs regularly.
Not saying you should necessarily try this if low carb might be a factor for you. I don't know quite what I'd do differently if I'm lucky enough for a next time. But it was a comfort to me to know I didn't really have gestational diabetes, and I could fix it with a more traditional type diet while pregnant. My doctor was very happy, and my baby was normal size and healthy. I didn't have to stick myself anymore, and I felt a lot better. I still made sure to eat lots of healthy protein, to avoid further bood sugar disruption, as I had done in previous pregnancies. Might be totally irrelevant here, but I wish someone had told me about this before I tried to stay low carb during pregnancy.