There’s a stoplight by my house—on the edge of the highway, on the way to my son’s school—at which I spend an inordinate amount of time just waiting.
Five minutes here, five minutes there…
I figure the total’s up to a good week’s worth of waiting by now.
Pulling to a stop, my foot resting heavy on the break, I look around for something to occupy my time. Usually I grab my phone—a Droid—and check email, Twitter, blog comments, whatever—anything to satisfy the racing demands of my mind.
And I’m not proud to admit this.
Tell me you don’t multitask at stoplights and you will have my admiration! Myself, I am guilty—almost always guilty—of living my life with a false sense of urgency. What’s next? What’s next? What’s next? my mind chirrups. It is a most annoying chorus.
So today we were reading a Dr. Seuss book called Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
Well, I thought that the pep talk Seuss gives in this book would suit him.
(Little did I know that it would suit me, too.)
You can get so confused
That you’ll start in to race
Down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
And grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
Headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
Or a bus to come, or a plane to go
Or the mail to come, or the rain to go
Or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
Or waiting around for a Yes or No
Or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone just waiting.
Huh.
That all certainly sounds familiar.
I could have added any one of a number of things—the things for which I’m waiting. Like…waiting for my coffee to brew, waiting for the house to be clean, waiting for my weight to drop, waiting for my husband to change, waiting for my son’s handwriting to improve, waiting for my daughter’s soccer practice to be over, waiting for the email that will cheer me up, waiting for the rain to stop…
And today I’m thinking, STOP.
Just stop.
I need to stop waiting around for…what? I don’t know. And I need to stop my mind from racing. (This isn’t easy for a hyper-caffeinated mom, as you know. I’m working on that habit, too.)
The very first change I’m making is this: I will try (how I’ll try!) to stop checking my email at all the stoplights. It’s one of my big bad habits, though—enormous, even—and this will take some time.
Lots of time.
Five minute’s worth of time…at a time.
Five minutes of praying, listening, being.
Updated the Following Morning to Add: I’ve said this in the com-box but I’ll say it again here: I know that this is a dangerous habit. I am freely admitting that I want to change! Because it is a habit, though, and an addictive one at that, it will be very hard for me to stop. However, (and this is a fairly pathetic however, I’ll admit), note that I didn’t say I read my email as I’m driving but rather, at the stoplights.
It’s when I’m driving that I type my response.
I’m kidding! I certainly don’t do that and, in fact, am always incredibly bothered when I see people texting as they drive. A double standard? It’s okay to quickly scan one’s email at the stoplight but it’s not okay to do so while driving ? Probably, but I am full of double standards and that is why I blogged about it. I am not happy with the way that I am.
What do you do while you’re waiting at stoplights? Do you stare straight ahead with your eyes on the road, or are you a multi-tasker like me?
say a couple of prayers that there is no "accident waiting to happen" at that intersection! 😉
Hi Margaret,
If you lived in NY you would get 2 points on your license and a $350 fine for using that cell phone waiting for that light to change. Don't do it!! It is an accident waiting to happen!
Love and prayers (that you don't have an accident),
Joan
Ladies, I KNOW! But thank you for loving me enough to reprimand me. 🙂
You shouldn't be using your phone at all while driving. One of my pet peeves, because I see a lot of those "accidents waiting to happen" driving along erratically with heads cocked to one side. I don't want to be a victim of somebody else's distraction! Driving is the most dangerous thing you'll probably do today. Pay it the respect it deserves.
When I drive, I am either listening to Catholic radio, a Catholic talk on cd, the Rosary on cd (the Mary Foundation has a wonderful Rosary cd,) or I listen and sing along with a Catholic music cd or to Michael Buble`! ;o)
And then again, there are times, especially when I am alone, that I turn off everything and revel in the silence! I've heard often enough, as I'm sure you have too, that we need the silence to listen to God. (side note- LOVE Adoration!)
One caution with the Rosary while driving- for me, I have gotten too into my prayers and have ended up driving past my intended destination!
In Christ,
Stacy (in MI)
Since I live in a glass house, I won't through stones, but I will say that that is a gorgeous place to sit for 5 minutes!!!!
um..Sad to say I am addicted to TalkRadio..the Fox News…yapping about this and that.
I will change it to Catholic Radio also. Maybe to some tunes.
I used to do the same thing until we moved to a city where if the phone is even in your hand you get a large fine. I broke my habit by putting my phone in my purse and putting my purse out of my reach in the van. Sometimes it rings and I have that moment of anxiety that I'm missing a call, but then I think, perhaps instead I'm saving a life. I tried turning off the ringer to avoid even the knowledge that my phone was there, but would always forget to turn it back on. Get that phone out of your reach, it really works.
I wait an inordinate amount of time in waiting rooms–ballet and therapy. And, driving to and fro. So, I check Facebook at every red light. I gave up Facebook for Lent and it was an epiphany for me to realize how much I really relied on my iPhone for that time. I should've been having conversations with my children. I'm still
working on it, but it's really hard.
I also can't figure out how sitting at a stoplight checking email, etc is an accident waiting to happen. I can understand if driving, but that's not what Maggie does. 🙂
I do keep my phone close when driving esp when some kiddos are at home–though the biggest emergency involves a little boy tantrum, or a request for a movie! I only have 2 stop lights in our town–not a lot of waiting at either–it's the summer traffic that kills us–bummpa2bummpa on Main st! I have to pay attention otherwise I confuse the brake and gas pedals and hit the person in front of me!
I SO needed this post! I have been feeling this way a lot lately, and need to tell myself "Stop. Just stop." Stop and enjoy my hubby and my newborn son, and quit worrying if the dishes are done or the laundry isn't folded.
Although I'm about to pour my cup of cappuccino that just finished…that I was waiting on… 🙂
I'm not worried about you, Margaret! I can't imagine a petite lady like you could steer that cruise ship you drive without two hands and all your strength!
However, I did want to add this two cents: for the Triduum this year, I gave up the internet/email entirely – quite heroic, I know 😉 I have to say… oh, the PEACE I knew when I put that out of my life!!!!!! And, how much extra time I had to pray – how easily my mind turned to prayer on it's own – and how much newfound time I had to spend with the family. I loved it immensely.
Love you, too!
I don't generally use my phone in the car (when my son called from Afghanistan it was an exception! I would talk then!)but if I get a text or a call, I will check and see if it's urgent at red lights. I agree with KC… not sure how being completely stopped and looking at the phone is an accident waiting to happen. An annoyance to fellow drivers, perhaps, if one were to not realize the light had changed, but an accident? I just don't see it.
I check my Crackberry for texts and emails at stop lights and check out lines. If one of my children is with me, I'll dictate a response to an email or text. I don't read emails or texts while driving. DUH!
And I agree with KC – how is checking a cell phone any more dangerous than fiddling with the radio or reapplying lip gloss or tweezing out an errant stray facial hair? Should we just sit and stare ahead? I don't get it.
I wait. It is rare that I am ever alone in the car so I'm usually having a conversation. If I am alone in the car I'm listening to the radio…often loudly….often loudly singing along off-key. My phone is just a phone. All I can do is talk on it and even then it has limited minutes. My kids can get a hold of me when I'm out, that is the whole purpose of it. Admittedly, I will call my mom sometimes when I'm on a long-haul day and chat for a little while.
I spend a gagillion hours a week in the car. Well, not really but it seems that way sometimes. During the school year I put about 300-350 miles a week on my van.
I'll just say this: When I used to teach Childbirth Ed., we used to tell our clients to do 15 kegals at each stoplight. Very private multi-tasking.
Try it and let me know if you get anyone peering into your window at the stop light and shaking their head/wagging a finger 🙂
Love you, Margaret.
this is what i tried to give up, since i have a bad habit of playing solitaire when i'm on the phone with someone and my constant (addictive) habit is to click click click while waiting and it drives my husband crazy. i tried to work on being more present, but it helped to have lent to 'force' me.
loved that dr. suess poem though…i'll have to read the rest of it again. i hate the waiting place. or feeling like i'm waiting for life to start. one reason why i tried to call grad school "MY real world" when people would refer to graduating as entering the 'real world!"
From someone in San Diego, where traffic can be incredibly bad, that intersection does not look like a terribly dangerous place to look at your email. But, who am I to say, from just looking at one picture? Anyway, at stop lights, I look at the other people in their cars. But, there are an awful lot of people and cars to look at where I live. God bless! 🙂
Ummmm….Christine always calls me when she's driving to pick up her kiddos!! haha, am I getting her into trouble? Yep.
I always get that urge to call someone at stoplights…but don't. Who would I call? And how could they possibly hear me with all the loud kiddos?
I totally knew you meant you didn't text or check while driving, only while stopped.
However, I sat behind a young gal once (probably a teenager) at left turn stoplight and she sat through a green light, she totally didn't know why I was honking, because by the time she looked up, it was red!!! She almost did it again, and I honked again.
She was texting.
Um, Jamie? That was me.
(I look MUCH younger than my 44 years.)
I'm a "sit in the car and enjoy the music" kind of person… although for Lent I started praying the Rosary in the car, and I've tried to keep up the habit.
I agree that it's soooo easy to get caught up in the gotta check, gotta get stuff done, gotta do whatever, but making that clean break is freeing in a way I never thought possible.
God bless you as you try with His grace to break that habit!
Quit checkin' your emails where ya can't answer 'em. 😛
And I totally just stuck my tongue out.
Sheesh my kid didn't sign out. How fun was that?
The commute to the kids' school is just long enough for a family rosary, and we usually tune into Relevant Radio's Divine Mercy chaplet coming home. I usually have the kids call or answer the phone when I'm driving. The most distracting thing I do is dig the chapstick out of my purse and apply it. Today, tho, I ate a twinkie.
This is a good reminder post that not only do WE wait but the Lord waits on us…to turn our attention to Him. Like a loving parent He is waiting for me to stop and turn from my wicked ways. So my husband took all the cell phones away 2years ago this coming August (our girls had phones too) Best thing that happened to me. There have been times a cell would have saved some time or problems but for the most part we have adjusted. The girls now pay for their own phones and as for me I usually pray at stoplights or keep working on those kegals.
Margaret, you are too funny! Isn't that what stoplights are for? To catch up on our texts? lol