Just because it’s been awhile.
Here’s a totally random question, and I’m winging it at you from left field:
What do you do when you’re feeling lonely?
I’ll tell you what I do:
- I check the computer for anything new.
- I eat.
- I pray.
(Yes, in that order, which is pretty backward if you think about it.)
Feel free to double up on another commenter’s answer. We’ll consider this a survey.
I call someone. I have noticed that I don’t eat as much as I used to when I get lonely, but I still do sometimes. A friend of mine is sooo good about praying on a regular basis, and even though she has a slew of kids and is far away from a lot of people, she’s always so stinkin’ happy…kinda like St. Therese. I want to be like that sister of hers “Why are you always smiling???” 😉
Word verification: stillers
Oh, and love the Epiphany letter….love it!
I was really shy as a child (whoda thunk???) and I always retired into books to save me from my lonliness. I don’t often get lonely anymore but when I do, I usually go on reading jags. I do think the internet has been a godsend to me because I always feel connected to somebody, no matter how attentuated. Also, if I see other moms once a week or so that goes a long way to keeping lonliness at bay. I’m not a big phone talker; too many constant interruptions anymore.
I remember being terribly lonely before I got married; long, long bouts of wistful lonliness. And when my dh traveled a lot I got very lonely for him. And I remember when I used to get PMS I’d often go through a couple of days where I’d be so emotionally sensitive that I’d feel alienated from everybody and that was a lonely feeling. Menopause has taken care of that one!!! But even then I knew it was a mood that would pass, so patience was my solution!
Good question!
All of what you said and I also mope for a while and feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I try to read, but usually I just busy myself with something, like cleaning. We’ve moved so much that I haven’t really had friends anywhere we’ve lived, so I’ve gotten used to loneliness I guess. Doesn’t mean I like it, though!
Sometimes I ask one of my kids to read with me, too.
I ring someone up (mum, sister, Dawn, JoMary etc.) and I always make more coffee . . . . keep up with my daily prayers and find a comfy film on hand or dive into an old fav book or try out a new one (there’s always a new one on the ready). I’ve also been known to do the negative thing (because I can’t always afford to do this): go to the bookstore and find something to read – and just interacting with the sales people fills my empty spot.
Check the computer and eat – certainly. I never thought to try prayer. I went through a period of extreme loneliness upon becoming a stay at home mom which coincided with 4 of my 6 siblings moving away. blogging helped. Hugs Margaret – is DH hunting this weekend?
Check computer, eat, email, eat, read, eat, pray, eat, call anyone, eat, bug husband, eat, not all in that order.
I take the kids out to do something fun…bowling, library, browsing at the craft store, whatever. A change of scenery is usually just what I need. When we lived in Chicago, we had a membership to the children’s museum. That was always good, too.
I was feeling low this week and so I bought a pet. I know…I will be an ol’granny someday with a zillion cats running around in a stinky house.
I think you should call someone…anyone..even me! I can jabber like the best of them.
I think it is also this drab MN weather. We need some sunshine and fresh air!
Grab a book, a cup of tea, maybe call my mom, or mother-in-law. Maybe text someone — my honey or one of the boys. My prayer life has always been relegated to a specific time (I think a Catholic thing) and just within the past year or so I have been randomly praying, when the need is evident.
I don’t really think I would pray about being lonely, however.I think loneliness is necessary in life to appreciate times in which we are not alone.
All of your answers, and then usually…nap. 🙂
OH I surf the internet, then start flippling channels on the TV, try NOT to eat, but like someone else said, I do not think to pray.
When I wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t sleep, I will start praying for whoever I think of. If I’m awake, then it’s cause God woke me up to pray for someone.
Sometimes I just try to wallow in it a bit. Seriously. Not to focus on if for too long, but sometimes I just don’t try to “snap out of it” but rather, I let myself be lonely and hope it will run it’s course after a day or two.
Of course I eat and obsessively check the computer too…but for me loneliness is like sadness sometimes…I just muddle through it with a good book or movie or with writing on my own and I know that it will pass.
I find that when I’m lonely or down, I don’t really do so well with people trying to cheer me up, I have to come out of it on my own.
I check in with my computer friends; I write; I make another cup of coffee; pray; cry. Sometimes all together, or in a repeating flow.
Lonely is really hard. I know that He is always with me, but sometimes, I just feel so lost amidst the overflow of family life.
{{hugs}}
Well, I check all of the blogs that I follow, then check facebook. After that, I will try to call my sister, who loves to talk. After that, I mope around the house and look for some chocolate. I might pray somewhere in between there, but sometimes not.
Lonely is not the word I’d call it for myself… I dont’ know what lonely means. But, when I’m feeling “low” I turn on music or text my sons (or their girlfriends) ~ and then, if I’m still not picked up, I go on a drive where I can be alone ~ and pray.
Usually I call my boyfriend. He’s very sporting about letting me cry on his shoulder (whether figuratively over the phone or literally in person). I might be a statistical outlier on this blog, though.
I tend to withdraw more by picking up a book and making a cup of tea. Prayer is also there, but it’s short because that’s about all I can muster. For me, being lonely is usually about something else – guilt, being angry at myself for not being able to follow through on a task, guilt, feeling unappreciated by the kids, guilt, self-pity… I wouldn’t choose to call anyone (afterall, no other person on earth has problems like these or they are already dealing with so much why be a burden to them!), but if a friend called they usually drag it out of me and I do feel better.
Phone call to mom.
Check email and blogs.
Do something fun with my kids.
Watch TV.
Visit someone.
If that doesn’t work, I pray.
Hi Margaret!
When I’m lonely I surf the net, make a cup of tea, surf the net, try not to eat, try not to eat, cave in to the carb craving, etc……
What helps me is to wallow in it for a while. Feel the emotions, don’t push them away. It only makes them linger in the background. I’ve been struggling the past few weeks and I think I have been brought back to reality today. I go to my chiropractor for nutritional counseling, and a lot of things were WAY OFF today. Time to get back on the low carb, nutritional way of eating. I just turned the TV on and watched an episode of “You are What you EAt” on BBC. It was about a Catholic priest today. It was funny, but it came down to “either change the way you eat or drop dead of a heart attack.” He had one already and the family history wasn’t promising.
So, back to the low carb eating and eating ‘Super Foods” for me!
I’ll call my girlfriends later and we’ll get together, that will help with the lonliness. Just calling them cheers me up!
You may think this weird, but I don’t think I ever feel lonely.
I get the opposite of lonely: I long for time alone. Not since I had my first child have I been alone long enough to get “lonely.”
I miss dh when he’s gone on business trips, but as I have 3 little ones to keep me company, I would not describe that feeling as “lonely.” Harried and impatient maybe!
Introvert, I guess.
Oh gosh I have a fourth month old baby girl at home and I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt lonely. And feeling lonely isn’t a bad feeling at all there just hasn’t been time for it.
Oh, I forgot–I journal.
Or watch a movie that will make me cry so I can get it over with. 🙂 LOL.
Hey Margaret! Funny you should ask that question!!! I tend to fall into the same thing as you- in that order too. Yikes! Let’s pray for one another.
God bless,
Mary
p.s. Check out my blog which is talking about the SAME THING TOO!
could it be…uh, winter time?!?
I lost my mother this year to Alzheimer’s and miss her dreadfully even though her last years were rough. What I do now though is seek out the company of my teen daughters. Honestly, for anyone who dreads the teen years, don’t. They are truly wonderful.Oh, and I always resort to tea!
Well, I have to admit that I check the computer too – sometimes just a slight connection with someone else helps. Prayer is on-going for me, just because it became habitual in daily life with my boys… 🙂 (Not that it’s necessarily effective prayer though!) I find that when I’m lonely/low I actually tend to avoid food – which isn’t good – I just don’t feel like eating – though chocolate is always welcome if it’s around. 🙂 Phone calls don’t work for me because I have a hard time understanding people if I can’t see them talking – but the new video conferencing on computers is great! 🙂 Of course, that goes with the checking the computer thing! 🙂
~Jenny
I just read your post about loneliness and it so hit home today! My husband has been out of town and I had made plans yesterday and today with girlfriends. Well, they both had to cancel due to sick children and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself as well as tired of being alone. When my husband called, he sensed I was sad and felt very helpless. I told him not to worry and that I was just restless and that God must be wanting me to turn to him!
This was a very timely post for me! My husband had just left for work (yes,on Saturday…again) and I was feeling a little alone and wondering how I was going to fill a cold winter day with no car and two little ones with lots of energy.
After reading your post, I stopped and prayed. I asked for the grace to get thru the day with joy and patience and that I would be aware of God’s grace. I kept trying to pray as the day went along; sending up little prayers in the midst of the business.
Well, thanks be to God, grace came abundantly. It came in the form of a long walk with my girls, a fun visit to the local libarary, watercolor paints at the kitchen counter, a fun movie for mom (picked up at the library and watched during the kid’s quiet time!) and an unexpected visit from a wonderful neighbor in the evening.
The day was a reminder to me that God has some special mercies for moms and that if I can just stop for a moment and ask for help in being aware of what He has for me in the day, things can go from hum-drum to grace-filled and beautiful.
So, thank you again for the post. It put me on the right track!
Cat
I haven’t felt lonely since I was in my mid twenties and single, living on my own and working in NYC. I used to dread Sundays. Now, with four children and a husband and dog, I tend to go to the other extreme, I crave solitude, especially after long weekends with everyone around.
Jennifer