Just kidding.
I shall bring an end to this existential, midlife drama with an announcement: I am going to stick with Margaret.
This is not to say that I don’t like “Maggie,” because I do. (As you well know.) You are welcome to call me Maggie if you’re so inclined, or you may call me Margaret.
You may not call me Madge or Daisy.
I have given a lot of thought to this decision—too much, probably, in light of the Really Big Problems out there—and I’ve come to the conclusion that it is okay to be different things to different people. It’s inevitable, really.
We all struggle with who we are and where we’ve gone wrong, and I think our birth name embodies this inner agony. Growing up, I was Margie (with a hard “g”) to my family; I still am, to this day, and I truly love being Auntie Margie to my nieces and nephews.
“Maggie” I picked for myself after my conversion, and that right there should tell you why I’m drawn to it. I was a fun-loving waitress named Maggie at TGIFridays, and I was “Captain Maggie” on the busload of teenagers that I chaperoned during World Youth Day ’93.
Did I need a name to be either of these people? Of course I didn’t, but I have very happy memories associated with both.
A dear friend of mine (and goodness knows my friends have been patient with all this) sent me an email in which she remarked:
“People like you and me, we don’t always know who we really are. We are very good at seeing all the negative aspects of our character and we are also very skilled at seeing who we want ourselves to be or who we think we SHOULD be. My therapist calls that part of me my ‘aughtism’.”
So true. So very true.
For the record, my husband calls me Maggie (at times) and Margaret on other occasions. His family calls me Maggie and I love that they do.
There is an intimacy in nicknames, however, that I think makes some people uncomfortable. It is a little like inviting a priest over to watch football and then asking if he’d like to change into sweatpants. (A true story, told to me by a priest friend.) I am no priest, of course, but I am respectful of the need for…
…what? Tradition? Formality? Sticking with the name of my patron saint? Whatever the reason, I’ve reached a decision.
Margaret in Minnesota it is.
Thank you for all the comments. They’ve been a fun and interesting ride! Although comparing this name change thing to the artist formerly known as Prince, Jamie? That alone made me want to stick with Margaret! (Hee.)
Many of you spoke up for the first time and for that, too, I thank you. It’s good to know you’re out there and that *sniff!* you care.
(Big smile.)
Ad majorem Dei gloriam, always,
Hello, Margaret!
I cannot take this emotional rollercoaster.
I will call you Jane.
lol
But you’ll always be “Minnesota Mom” to me! 🙂
How about Peggy? I love the name “Peggy.” I love “Margaret,” too by the by.
I know that family name thing you talk about. I was “Susie” to family growing up and still am. “Aunt Susie” is just great, but I cringe when ANYONE who isn’t family calls me “Susie.” It has this way of making me feel like very silly five year old.
I became Suzanne in college and though my family never accepted it, I have NO regrets. And while I wished for a while that my family would drop the “Susie” already, I have come to accept it as their family right.
Interestingly, my husband’s family calls him “Jer.” He doesn’t like it and I don’t either. We were just laughing the other night about “Susie” and “Jer” and how we just can’t identify with this couple we supposedly are!
Okay, if you want to be called Greta, I’ll call you Greta!
How do you feel about Pearl? 🙂
I’m a Margaret, too, but that’s all I’ve ever gone by.
Oh, my goodness, I was not expecting that “Prince” comment on there with my name at the end!!! I cracked up and have tears from laughing so hard. You know I was kidding!!
I am glad you picked Margaret, but now I will feel guilty if I call you Margaret because I now know that you prefer to be called Maggie. Does it sound weird if someone calls you Maggie who does not usually do it? Like when the salespeople at Wal-mart call you by your name if you pay by check? It always kind of feels weird, you know?
Love you Margaret!
This is interesting to me since I have a name you can’t shorten anymore. Ji perhaps? 😉
I liked Suzanne’s story as well.
My parents have a totally different set of names with each family. Their names are John and Donna. My dad’s family calls him Jack since his father was John. So, they are ‘Jack and Donna’ to them. My mom’s sisters call her Dee and so they are ‘Dee and John’ on that side. Growing up I felt like we were some mysterious family with a different set of parents for each occasion. 😉
Anyway, I only know you as Margaret and have grown to love the women by that name so I am happy you will continue that way.
Margaret,
I’m glad you decided and are happy with the decision!
Now, where is the rest of that story of yours?! 🙂 There are throngs waiting impatiently by the computer, you know! 🙂 No pressure, though, take your time…
J.C.
I like Margaret. It’s my mom’s, Grandma’s, Great Grandma’s name and my daughter’s middle name. AND my Confirmation name. It’s a good one 🙂