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On Coming Clean and Slowing Down

December 5, 2007 by Minnesota Mom Filed Under: Blogging, Minnesota Me, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Spiritual Growth 81 Comments

Warning: the following post is of a nitty-gritty nature.

I don’t know how many of you checked back on the comments to my “Merry Christmas” post, (the one where I complained about getting a speeding ticket), but I wanted to share with you the following thoughts shared by Adoro te Devote:

Speaking as an ex-police officer….he was right. And for a $117 fine you had to have been WELL over the limit. And with children in your car.

Speed causes more accidents and deaths than anything else. And by it’s nature, speeding is often (although not always) through inattention…and that’s even worse.

Granted, the inattention was due to the children, but considering you have children in your vehicle, you have an even greater duty to them to pay attention to your speed.

I don’t mean to preach, not in any way, but I do feel it’s necessary to speak up for the cop. And considering that I’ve been in his shoes and I’ve seen sights that would haunt you to your dying day and through purgatory, well, please see his action as merciful and not condemning.

She is right. She is totally right and I commend her for upbraiding me. I was speeding; I was going 15 miles over the speed limit and even worse, I didn’t even realize it.

That’s pretty much the story of my life.

Always rushing toward the next event.

Always rushing toward the punch line.

Always rushing toward some symbolic horizon that, like “tomorrow”, never comes.

The words of Adoro te Devote have given me pause. I was so quick to be indignant over the insult of being ticketed—so quick to turn to humor instead of reflection.

Forgive me. I was wrong to have done so.

I am feeling the need to slow down in many ways. I am trying so hard to hear God speak to me this Advent, and yet so far I cannot hear but for the din of all my activity.

It’s go go go, you know?

I promise Him I’ll pray before I check my email in the morning, and then I don’t.

I apologize to Him for writing my post before reading my Bible, and then I do all over again the next day…and the next day after that…and the next day after that.

So I’m going to slow down and I ask you to bear with me. Some days this blog is funny and some days it’s just not. I had a very happy post in the works for the feast of St. Nicholas—We’re pregnant! Thank you, St. Nicholas!—but now I’ve just heard from the clinic and yesterday’s blood draw shows that my hCG level has not gone up since the last one.

Yes, this is the very special intention for which I am praying St. Andrew’s novena. I would be six weeks along on Thursday.

Nothing is certain and I’ll let you know when I know.

Meanwhile, I may be more quiet than usual and I may not be posting on a daily basis.

For me, that’s so unlikely, I know…

…and yet, it’s what I’m thinking I need to do.

With love and blessings and a humble request for prayers (just one or two, if you can spare them),

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Comments

  1. Denise says

    December 5, 2007 at 1:51 am

    Oh Margaret…I know I don’t know you…but I can certainly relate to the desire to have another baby…
    My prayers are with you!

    I’ve been reading here for a while, commenting occasionally and I just wanted to say how much i enjoy reading about your life.

    You have opened yourself up on this blog…shared your excitement, your heartbreak, your worries, your guilty feelings, your wicked good sense of humor.

    Your blog is all the things I read a blog for 😉

    Certainly, blogs can be a waste of time, a way to indulge…but they can also be places to learn about our faith and our vocation as moms, a place to connect with like-minded folk, and I think yours does that for many readers.

    So I’m rambling here, but I just wanted to offer you my sincere prayers.

    God Bless you and Keep you…..

    Reply
  2. Mommy Bear says

    December 5, 2007 at 2:03 am

    Sweetie, I’m doubling my prayers for you. I, too, am go go go. My hubby constantly reminds me to “stay present”, tho’ I seldom do.

    Here’s to doubling hCg #’s…

    God bless you!

    Reply
  3. nutmeg says

    December 5, 2007 at 2:43 am

    Praying for your new little one…. and many many hugs to you, dear friend.

    Reply
  4. Jenn says

    December 5, 2007 at 2:45 am

    Maggie, I’m so sorry for the recent news. I know those numbers can go up and I’ll be saying extra prayers for just that.

    We’ll be at the MN zoo on Friday if you feel like a spontaneous trip. Let us know!

    Reply
  5. Momto5Minnies says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:37 am

    I am keeping you in my prayers too!

    It is so hard to slow down, but I hope that you can find a way to … then please share with us how you accomplished that 😉

    Many (((HUGS)))) from another mommy to 5!

    Reply
  6. Michelle says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:37 am

    Margaret, I’m praying for you and for your baby.

    Reply
  7. Matilda says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:43 am

    Offering up lots here for you tonight!

    Reply
  8. Alice Gunther says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:46 am

    I’ll be praying my heart out for you, Margaret.

    Reply
  9. +JMJ+ says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:55 am

    A heartfelt Hail MAry already ascending…

    I am awed by your frequent humility and honesty. I think those are such very admirable characteristics.

    Reply
  10. Jen says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:25 am

    Prayers for you dear Margaret and the precious baby. St. Nicholas and St. Andrew will be hearing quite a bit from me for this intention!

    This was a beautiful post and I appreciate it. We all need the reminder that the “present” is always better to savor then trying to rush to the next “thing” on the list.

    Reply
  11. Angie says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:33 am

    I just a prayer for you, Margaret. I am with you — I am always on the go, and I keep thinking that I need to figure out a way for that to not always be like that. I just don’t know how. So, I totally understand. (((HUGS)))

    Reply
  12. Cindy says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:54 am

    Praying for you and that little one. Big hugs coming northward for you.

    Reply
  13. Kimberlee says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:57 am

    Praying! Uncertainty is so hard when we so desperately want to Know. Now. Hugs and more prayers.

    Reply
  14. KC says

    December 5, 2007 at 5:13 am

    Praying hard for you, Margaret.

    Reply
  15. Kristen Laurence says

    December 5, 2007 at 5:19 am

    You have my heartfelt prayers, Margaret. From one wanna-be-mom-again to another, I am with you, every day.

    Reply
  16. lapaz says

    December 5, 2007 at 6:02 am

    Margaret, you know you have my prayers. A decade already and four more before I go to sleep. Peace be with you, dear.

    Reply
  17. Patience says

    December 5, 2007 at 6:05 am

    Dear Margaret, hello from a “stranger” and sometimes caller to your lovely weblog. I got the prayer call for you and your baby from Alice. I know all about breathlessly waiting for those levels to rise, and so I’m sending you a prayer out of empathy and shared hoping. May your dream come true.

    Reply
  18. Ouiz says

    December 5, 2007 at 6:13 am

    I don’t comment often, but I read your blog daily… and I will be praying for you!!! May God bless you and your baby and keep you both in perfect health. May you carry this little one to term, and may this pregnancy be an easy one!

    And thank you… thank you for your honesty in this post. I thought I was the only one who snuck in some email or blogging when I should be praying…

    Reply
  19. Nicole says

    December 5, 2007 at 6:17 am

    Thank you for sharing your reflection. I needed to hear it. We will also be praying for you and your family.

    Reply
  20. CresceNet says

    December 5, 2007 at 8:01 am

    Oi, achei seu blog pelo google está bem interessante gostei desse post. Gostaria de falar sobre o CresceNet. O CresceNet é um provedor de internet discada que remunera seus usuários pelo tempo conectado. Exatamente isso que você leu, estão pagando para você conectar. O provedor paga 20 centavos por hora de conexão discada com ligação local para mais de 2100 cidades do Brasil. O CresceNet tem um acelerador de conexão, que deixa sua conexão até 10 vezes mais rápida. Quem utiliza banda larga pode lucrar também, basta se cadastrar no CresceNet e quando for dormir conectar por discada, é possível pagar a ADSL só com o dinheiro da discada. Nos horários de minuto único o gasto com telefone é mínimo e a remuneração do CresceNet generosa. Se você quiser linkar o Cresce.Net(www.provedorcrescenet.com) no seu blog eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. If is possible add the CresceNet(www.provedorcrescenet.com) in your blogroll, I thank. Good bye friend.

    Reply
  21. The Bookworm says

    December 5, 2007 at 8:25 am

    Margaret dear … praying, praying, praying!

    Reply
  22. Donna says

    December 5, 2007 at 10:53 am

    Praying, praying, praying, Margaret.

    Reply
  23. Barb, sfo says

    December 5, 2007 at 11:24 am

    Adding my prayers to this group. May God bless you with the ability to slow down this Advent and may you be blessed in other ways as well. And I will pray for the intercession of the Holy Family for you and your precious little one.

    Reply
  24. Elizabeth says

    December 5, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    Margaret,
    you and your family have my prayers.
    Let us know how things go with the HCG levels.

    Reply
  25. Tami says

    December 5, 2007 at 12:44 pm

    Margaret, I enjoy your blog so. I am so impressed by your humility and openness. I am praying for you and your little one.

    Reply
  26. Jen says

    December 5, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Margaret, I’m late getting to this post, but know that my heart is with you right now..this very moment, and throughout this day. I beg God, will beg God, and hound Him to keep this child here, on this side of eternity. Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations, whatever the outcome may be. You are not alone in your struggle. I nodded my head when you told me you apologize to Him everyday for putting things first before Him. I said this very same thing to Him last night before bed. You have the gift of perserverance. It is a blessing. He is with you. All my love.

    Reply
  27. Jennifer says

    December 5, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Praying Margaret – I had a hunch.

    Reply
  28. guitarnan says

    December 5, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Margaret, I am joining my prayers to yours and everyone else’s. Thanks, too, for sharing your thoughts…I’m a go go go person, too, and it’s hard to pull up and take stock of where I am right now. Your thoughts help me gather my own.

    Reply
  29. Nina says

    December 5, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    Praying with all the others. Praying that I too can truly listen this Advent.

    Reply
  30. JennGM says

    December 5, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    Dear Margaret, I’m praying for you!

    Reply
  31. Paula in MN says

    December 5, 2007 at 2:08 pm

    All of our prayers are with you. Please keep us posted. We’ll be coming down on Friday, if you want to meet for coffee!!

    Reply
  32. Cheryl says

    December 5, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    Margaret, I will be praying for you and your family.

    Reply
  33. Fuzzy says

    December 5, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Margaret, I LOVE your blog so much! Yours is one that I check EVERY day, and you are a dear writer. I love your blog, and I would be just like that parent, blushing when I was found out.

    You will be in my prayers at this time!

    Reply
  34. Anonymous says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:25 pm

    I’m praying for you Margaret!

    Reply
  35. The Sojourner says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    Praying.

    (just one word…feels like I should say more…but what do you say?)

    Reply
  36. Laura The Crazy Mama says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    I’m still praying for your “special intention”. I have hope. Numbers can be wrong, but if they’re not, I hope/know that God’s grace will see you through.

    Reply
  37. Kimberly says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Praying for you, Margaret…peace and blessings to you and your family!

    Reply
  38. MaryM says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:47 pm

    Praying for you, Margaret.

    Reply
  39. molly d says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:57 pm

    Margaret –

    You can count on our prayers too for your most precious of intentions. We will also thank God with you for His goodness in giving you this most beautiful gift – entrusting another eternal soul to your care.

    Love to you,
    Molly & Co.

    Reply
  40. Janette Smith says

    December 5, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    Praying mightily for you all, Margaret!!

    Reply
  41. stephanie says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    I had a feeling that your novena intention had something to do with a baby…

    I am praying for you and your little one!

    Reply
  42. Exspectantes says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    So many prayers, Margaret!!

    Reply
  43. Maryan says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    Prayers here, Margaret

    Reply
  44. Mary Ellen Barrett says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    Memorares will be offered nearly continously for you and the wee one Margaret.

    Reply
  45. Jamie says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    Skip a day and I miss everything!!!! I will offer my holy hour tonite for you and baby!!!! Many prayers and tears for you!!!

    Reply
  46. Lauri says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    Many prayers going towards your intentions Margaret. I try to check in with your blog a few times a week. I love your writing & humor!

    Reply
  47. T with Honey says

    December 5, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    I want to say more but words are failing me. Just know that my prayers are with you and your family.

    Reply
  48. Christine says

    December 5, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    We’re praying here for you already – with tears in our eyes, and many more prayers to come.

    Reply
  49. Donna Marie from NJ says

    December 5, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    {{{{{Margaret}}}}

    You are in my constant thoughts and prayers! I have a very hectic week and weekend and as I plod through my time I will offer it all up for you. I will hold your intentions in my heart, dear lady!

    Reply
  50. Linda says

    December 5, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    Margaret,
    I am praying for you and your baby.
    I read your blog everyday and I love it.
    God Bless

    Reply
  51. Amy says

    December 5, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Praying for you and your family, Margaret!

    Reply
  52. Cmerie says

    December 5, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    Margaret, I am praying for you and your new little one. God bless! (And also congrats!)

    Reply
  53. Spinneretta says

    December 5, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    Margaret, my prayers are with you.

    Reply
  54. Beth says

    December 5, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    Offering up the struggles of the day for you!

    Reply
  55. Sarah Jane says

    December 5, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    What more can be said, except, that we know that God’s will for you is perfect and that He wants you for His very own. We pray that in this, your desires and His will be exactly the same.
    I don’t know if I would have had the courage to post the e-mail from Adore te Devote; it took courage and humility. It was good food for thought.

    Reply
  56. Elizabeth says

    December 5, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    Congratulations and prayers!

    Reply
  57. Meredith says

    December 5, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    Praying hard for you Margaret!

    Reply
  58. Ana Braga-Henebry says

    December 5, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    Praying an Ave Maria right now.
    God’s will be done. His will is mysterious, but we can be certain that He never abandons us!

    Reply
  59. Cheryl M. says

    December 5, 2007 at 9:24 pm

    Margaret, many, many prayers for your intentions! And Congratulations!!! 🙂

    Reply
  60. Heather in Washington says

    December 5, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    Margaret, you and your family are in my prayers. May you have peace and understanding in your heart- may God’s will be done. And I don’t blame you for using humor in a bind- it’s what comes naturally to many of us. Hang in there!

    Reply
  61. Hélène says

    December 5, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    Margaret, you and your precious baby are in my prayers.

    Reply
  62. Abigail says

    December 5, 2007 at 9:52 pm

    Your little one is in my family’s prayers.

    Reply
  63. Ladybug Mommy Maria says

    December 5, 2007 at 11:04 pm

    Keeping you in my prayers!

    Reply
  64. Lillian says

    December 5, 2007 at 11:38 pm

    Please know that I’m praying for and your little one.

    Reply
  65. Suzanne Temple says

    December 6, 2007 at 12:45 am

    Margaret. I read this this morning and can finally come and a leave a comment. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  66. Annie says

    December 6, 2007 at 12:57 am

    I’m a daily reader of your blog and have come to rely on your witty insight to carry me through my day. Thank you for your blunt honesty that helps challenge the rest of us. I’m thrilled by your pregnancy announcement and am lifting you up in prayer that all will be well.

    Reply
  67. B-Mama says

    December 6, 2007 at 1:47 am

    Prayers Margaret! Just got around to reading your news– heartfelt congratulations! Thanks be to God for this precious soul who has now joined your family! (PS–our little ones are days apart! I’ll be 6 weeks Saturday, pregnant after a miscarriage in Sept. My novena is being offered now for BOTH precious lives.)

    Reply
  68. mel says

    December 6, 2007 at 1:48 am

    Very honest post. And lots of prayers for you and your newest little one.

    Reply
  69. Jennie C. says

    December 6, 2007 at 1:51 am

    So much loving here, Margaret. You are blessed!

    Reply
  70. Theresa ♥ says

    December 6, 2007 at 4:21 am

    Margaret, I was here earlier today and couldn’t find the post a comment button but I have been thinking of an praying for you.

    Reply
  71. Tracy says

    December 6, 2007 at 4:23 am

    Oh my, you have 69 comments before I even read this post! Congratulations and my prayers are with you!

    Reply
  72. Lina Martin says

    December 6, 2007 at 5:16 am

    congrats and many many prayers for your health and the new little one’s! 🙂

    Reply
  73. Dana says

    December 6, 2007 at 6:04 am

    I thanked an officer for pulling me over once. Maybe that was why I didn’t get ticketed but I really was incredibly grateful…I was falling asleep. And being pulled over gave me enough of an adrenaline rush that I was wide awake the rest of the short drive!

    I am sorry to hear about the situation with the baby…I pray all is well. And the Lord be with you.

    Dana
    Principled Discovery

    Reply
  74. Anonymous says

    December 6, 2007 at 7:34 am

    A million prayers for you and your wee one! I too am in limbo- going tomorrow to listen for the heartbeat of my tiny one. I’ll be praying for you and hoping we both have extra cause to celebrate St. Nicholas Day! Love and prayers, Laura

    Reply
  75. lois in indy says

    December 6, 2007 at 11:45 am

    Am praying for you and the new little one with all my heart! God is good, please be at peace.

    Reply
  76. Ruth says

    December 6, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    Dear Margaret. I will be offering up many Memorares throughout the day for you and your precious baby.

    Reply
  77. patjrsmom says

    December 6, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    Margaret,
    I will offer this morning’s rosary for your intention. Christ beside you no matter what!

    God Bless,
    Jane

    Reply
  78. Jane Ramsey says

    December 6, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    Many prayers for you and the little one, Margaret.

    Reply
  79. Helene says

    December 6, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    Prayers for you, dear margaret! And bless your dear new little one! Congratulations from the bottom of my heart!

    Reply
  80. Ruth says

    December 8, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    Dear Margaret. I actually prayed the Saint Andrew novena last year for a baby and today we are so blessed to be holding our little Maria. I will offer up this Saint Andrew novena for your intentions. I am so thrilled for you.

    Reply
  81. Chari says

    December 9, 2007 at 1:34 am

    Praying for your intentions, Margaret!

    From someone who got their first speeding ticket in 19 yrs…..four weeks ago :(…..a block from my house!

    Reply

Hi there!

I’m Margaret in Minnesota, and this is my mom's-eye perspective of a kid-heavy life. I love the Lord; I take lots of photos; and I always try to tell it like it is, from sex to depression and everything in between! I hope you enjoy your time here. ♥

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Hi there!

I’m Margaret in Minnesota, and this is my mom's-eye perspective of a kid-heavy life. I love the Lord; I take lots of photos; and I try to always tell it like it is, from sex to depression and everything in between! I hope you enjoy your time here. ♥

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