I have just come from the follow-up ultrasound where I learned that we have, indeed, lost our baby. December is becoming a tricky season for me to navigate: three pregnancies, three Advents, three miscarriages in a row.
I am reminded of the poem “The Journey of the Magi” by T.S. Eliot, in which he asks, “Were we led all that way for birth or death?”
This life is a mystery, that’s for sure.
I am trying not to think too hard. The danger in times of deep sorrow—at least, for one who is prone to some depression as myself—is to overanalyze and to doubt. God in His goodness sends us joy and suffering. The joy part is so easy to welcome but the suffering? Bah humbug. I am dying to myself in ways I never asked for, yet I trust—I must trust—that it is for a greater good that I may never know in this lifetime.
Thank you so much for your prayers throughout this time of great uncertainty. They will see me through, I’m certain.
“Mommy, please don’t cry.
The angels are always singing.
I love to sing with the angels!
You’d be proud of me.
I have a pretty good voice.
I must have gotten it
From you.”
In all things, may we keep on singing.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam,
Oh, no. Oh Margaret, I am SO SO sorry. So sorry.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. Prayers go up for you…
Oh Margaret. My heart is heavy with prayers for you!
Oh, Margaret. I am so sorry. I am in tears. Many prayers for you and your family this season…
Oh Margaret, I am so sorry. Praying for you and your family.
I’m so sorry Margaret. I’m crying along with you. My prayers will be with you and your family.
Dearest Margaret,
I’m so, so sorry. We will continue to pray. Much love to you…
Dearest Margaret,
I’m so, so sorry. We will continue to pray. Much love to you…
Many prayers for you, Margaret.
I’m so sorry.
I will pray for your family.
Oh, Margaret, I’m sorry. May you and your family be comforted in this time of deep sorrow.
Margaret,
I am praying for you. My computer time is more limited now and I don’t get a chance to visit you as often as I used to, but wanted you to know that you are in our family’s prayers during this difficult time. Our Rosary is for you and your dear ones tonight.
I’m very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you during the hard time.
Dear Margaret,
I am so sorry for your loss. I had so many tears fall while reading your post. I’ll be praying for you and your family. May Our Blessed Mother cover you with her mantle and give you comfort during this difficult time.
Dear Margaret – I’m SO very sorry to hear this. Tears here too. Love and prayers, Alicia
Margaret, I too, am very sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you. I have experienced this twice before – it is very, very painful. Hugs.
So sorry, Margaret! I’ve been praying for you, and will continue. May God give you strength in this difficult time.
praying for you.
I am so, so sorry. I will keep your tender heart in prayer.
“You will be consoled according to the greatness of your sorrow and affliction; the greater the suffering, the greater will be the reward.”
St Mary Magdalen de’Pazzi, OCD
I’m so sorry Margaret. Prayers.
Why does it seem that any poem or story that has “mommy, don’t cry” turns out to be so beautiful that I end up crying?
*hugs*
You’re in my prayers, dear Margaret.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Oh Margaret. I’m so very sorry. Many prayers for you and your family. God bless you.
You have such a generous heart, full of love, full of hope. I can only imagine how much this loss hurts, my dear Margaret. May our good Lord and His blessed Mother hold you close tonight.
Oh, Margaret! I am so sorry for your loss! Hugs and prayers coming your way!
Oh, Margaret! I was so, so hoping not to be reading this. I offer my prayers for you this sad evening.
wish I could give y ou a hug!
God bless you Margaret. You’re in our prayers.
Oh Margaret. I am crying, too. This is SO NOT the Christmas present you were hoping for. I have three beautiful little babies in heaven now, too. It never gets any easier. Your sweet little child is in the arms of our Blessed Mother now. May God bless and comfort you, my friend.
Margaret, I am SO SO sorry. I will offer you my Holy Hour tonite with Jesus! (10-11pm) Sorry this is so late, it’s the first I checked today.
I am very sorry, Margaret.
God Bless you.
I’m so sorry
HelenMarie
Oh Margaret! I’m so sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers. I’ll be praying a Divine Mercy chaplet for you.
Dear Margaret, my heart hurts for you. I am so sorry. Love, kristina
I’m so very sorry for you,and it seems so is everyone else. Take solace in that your little one is in heaven with your other little ones. My heart hurts for you, but trust that many, many people are praying for you.
I’m so sorry Margaret. We will continue to pray for you and your family.
Margaret, I am so very sorry for this, another loss. Hugs and prayers for peace.
We’re so sorry here, you are in our prayers. I’ll be offering up the rest of crazy law school exams and missing husbands for your suffering.
Margaret, I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom had a miscarriage 26 years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest. It was devastating to me and of course to her. Even though she had 7 of us, the loss was overwhelming at the time. I still wonder to this day what my sibling would have been like. I have been “checking” on you daily. Danielle introduced me to you. I love your whimsical style.
God Bless You,
Joan
So so sorry for you and your baby…i pray that the love of our lady can surround you like a warm blanket!
I am praying for you and your family, Margaret. Maybe our little ones are playing together in Heaven. That thought makes me smile.
With love and prayers,
Stina
I’m so very sorry, Margaret. I’ve been praying for you both!
Love and blessings…
Oh sweetie I am so sorry! {{Hugs}} Please know that you and John and the children are all in my prayers.
Praying for you at this time of loss and sorrow.
Hi Margaret: I am really sorry. Like many other moms who have commented, I also have miscarried many times. When I was where you are now, these are the prayers that comforted me the most: 1) I imagined myself in Gethsemane with Jesus, both of us weeping (of course, I don’t mean to compare any suffering I’ve ever endured to that of Jesus, but it brought me great peace); 2) I imagined Jesus was on the cross and I left my broken heart at his feet as a gift (“Here, I give you every last part of me, even my broken heart, my anger, all of it.”) I left a broken heart each time I prayed so this became quite a crowded field in a short time; and (3) I imagined myself praying next to the Blessed Mother, with her mantle over her head and shoulders, but wrapped around and enveloping me also with love and peace. For me, I felt like the more traditional prayers had just “not worked,” but sitting sadly with Jesus gave me comfort. You can pray your way through this extraordinary grief. God bless you. Ann
I am so, so sorry for your loss. May God grant you comfort and peace during this time.
Margaret…I was saddened to hear about your loss (one that I am too familiar with as well). As your profile suggests, may you find peace at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. May you meet your child(ren) at the Eucharist! I find that my struggles seem lighter if I offer them at the point in the Mass of “May the Lord accept this sacrifice at your hands, for the praise and glory of His name, for our good and the good of all His Church.” And I leave them with Him to heal. My prayers are with you.
Annette
Oh, my dear Margaret, I am so terribly sorry. With love always, Karen
My prayers are still with you, too. Your courage in going through all of this is inspiring.
I am so so sorry Margret! You can be sure of my prayers for you and your family! God bless!
Oh, dear Margaret, I am so sorry for your loss. I had so hoped that we wouldn’t be reading this post.
Many prayers for you today.
Saying a prayer for you this morning. This is such sad news.
Margaret, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I know your little one was precious and already a loved member of your family. May God console you in your grief. With my prayers.
Margaret,
I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. My heart goes out to you and your family.
May the most Holy Mother of God hold your precious unborn baby close to her loving heart.
God bless you all and grant you comfort……
Elizabeth
My heart is aching for you, dear Margaret. We are so sorry to hear of your loss. During this Advent and mourning, we will continue to entrust you – daily, hourly – to the care of the Blessed Mother, who was, no doubt, SO happy to receive your total consecration in October. We have confidence she will obtain from her Son all that you need now. {{{hugs}}}
Margaret, I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. I will add my prayers to all of those mentioned here.
Margaret, my heart grieves with you now. I am so, so sorry for you right now. I wish I could say or do something to ease the pain that is piercing your heart. I don’t know why this happened, again. I don’t know why God is asking this of you and your family. Again. But cling to Him. Trust Him. He will lead you back to the peace you seek. I love you. Please know we are praying for you.
I am so very sorry, Margaret.
So sorry to read this news. Many prayers for you.
Margaret, I am so very, very sorry. Praying for you and so sad.
I love you.
(((MARGARET))) … my heart aches for you. May all the beauty of this season help to lift you up.
So, so sorry …
Margaret, your posting touched me deeply, I will be praying for you tonight.
Margaret,
There are no words. It is so hard to dare to dream and then to have to let go. This is a pieta moment. Our Lady will show you the way.
Prayers for you, your husband, your children and this precious little soul.
Oh…Margaret, I’m so sorry. I’m right there with you. Many prayers for your whole family. What a comfort the communion of saints is!
I am so sorry to hear of your loss Margaret. May God’s strength be with you at this time. Carol
Many, many prayers Margaret; May the Lord bring you ever closer to His Most Sacred Heart in this time of grief.
Margaret,
I am so sorry. My prayers are with you.
Cay
http://caygibson.typepad.com
I don’t know what to add that someone else has not said. But, I wanted to join in the group of women surrounding you with prayers and thoughts, and let you know how sorry I am for your loss.
Oh dear…tears for you this morning, I’m so overwhelmed for you. It’s so painful to lose these babies we are touched with so briefly, so hard to see God’s hand in it all,…but we will surely be comforted when we hold them in our arms in heaven someday.
Much love and prayers for you. Thank heaven for women like these, who will rejoice with us every time, and then cry with us too.
Dear Margaret, I am so, SO sorry. I will be praying hard for you and your family. Love, Rebecca
Mel said: Thank heaven for women like these, who will rejoice with us every time, and then cry with us too.
Amen to that, Mel.
Ladies, your generosity of spirit is such a consolation to my family. Please know that I am holding your intentions next to mine this day.
With love and blessings,
Margaret
I am praying for you, too, Margaret. May you find peace that passes understanding. love to you.
I am so sorry for your loss Margaret. Your courage and spirit are upifting so many others in light of your suffering, God Bless you and your sweet family.
Oh Margaret, I am so sorry I am praying for you and your beautiful family
I’m so sorry Margaret. Prayers for you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. May Our Lady of Sorrows bring you consolation in your hour of grief.
Dear Margaret, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Will be remembering you in my prayers …
Margaret,
I am so sorry for your loss! Sending up prayers for you and your healing.
I’m so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))
You are and have been in my prayers continually. God’s ways sure are hard to understand but, indeed, they are not our ways. Blessings and love. lois
I am so sorry to read about your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so, so sorry Margaret! We are praying as well!
Margaret,
I am so sorry for your loss. May the hope of this Advent bring you the peace of Christ.
God Bless,
Jane
Oh Margaret…I’ve been thinking of and praying for you more frequently as the days have gone on. I’m so very very sorry. I will continue to offer up my own sorrows and disappointments for you and yours.
No, no. I am so so saddened to hear this news. I thought for certain this would be the baby of hope for you! I am so sorry for your loss. I will be offering up many whispered prayers for you this advent. In our own trying to conceive again, and hoping against hope, I will remember you my friend.
sorry to hear about your loss.
Having never suffered the loss of a pregnancy, I can only imagine the pain. I pray that you and everyone else having a less than joyous advent feel some healing as Christmas nears.
Dearest Margaret,
You and your family are in my prayers. May Our Blessed Mother wrap her mantle around you.
Will keep you in my prayers!
Janet
So sorry. You and your family will be in our prayers. I can’t imagine your pain. May our prayers cover you with the love of God and comfort you. M. George
Oh Margaret, I am SO VERY SORRY. Having just miscarried a second time in August, your post made me cry. I will be praying for you. I believe from reading your blog that your faith is strong and that you will get through this difficult time.
You have my true sympathy in this terrible time of grief for you and your family.
I am so sorry about your loss. Praying for you.
Margaret, May Our Lord and Our Lady sustain you at this difficult time. Please let yourself be comforted by the fact that you have three souls in heaven who are holding you up before God and praying for your comfort and for infinite graces to carry you through. I too have lost two children. The only comfort in a time like this is the knowledge that they have fulfilled their ultimate purpose, attaining everlasting happiness in heaven before their creator. God bless you and know that you have more prayers than you can count.
Eternal Rest, grant unto this little one, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon him.
Condolences, prayers and many hugs for you, your husband and children, Margaret. I know you don’t really know me, but i lurk around here religiously and have been praying very hard for you all and will continue to do so.
St. John of the Cross, pray for us.
This child was unique, special and irreplaceable. I know you love each one on earth and in heaven.
Dear Margaret, my prayers from Uruguay. I remember you mentioned St. Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises were really helpful for you. Remember: En tiempos de desolación, nunca hacer mudanza, mantenerse firme y constante en las resoluciones… (In time of desolation never to make a change; but to be firm and constant in the resolutions…). A mayor gloria de Dios.
Oh, Margaret, I’m so very sorry for your loss. It is indeed so bittersweet to lose a baby at anytime, but especially during the time surrounding Our Lord’s birth. May you find comfort in the Infant King and His most Blessed Mother. I will keep you in my prayers.
Margaret, I am so sorry for the loss your whole family is experiencing again. Our family will be praying for you.
Margaret- I first heard of your blog on Dec. 5th, the day you announced your news. I have been praying for you ever since. God knows all and has a plan even though we can’t wrap our heads around it. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Margaret, wish I could be there right now to sit and cry with you… My heart is aching upon reading your news. Please know of my prayers–for your grief and sorrows; also prayers rejoicing in the life of your little one.
Margaret, I am so sorry to hear of this loss. Be assured of my prayers for you and your family.
Prayers of comfort and strength for you, dear one.
Adding my prayers and love for you and your family at this time of sorrow in your loss.
May you have the strength to continue to trust….
I am so very sorry—my prayers are with you and your family.
My heart is with you, John and the children as you grieve the loss of your little one. I pray you may grow closer to Our Lady of Sorrows and the Man of Sorrow as your heart is pierced like theirs.
Dear Margaret, I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers for you at this sad time.
I am so sorry Margaret. I am praying for your comfort.
Oh, Margaret. I’m so sorry. {big hug}
Margaret,
I too was pregnant and lost my baby last week, on the feast of Saint Nicholas. I am so sorry for your loss and share in your pain.
God bless
I’m so sorry, Margaret. Keeping you in my prayers.
How difficult…I so prayed for a different path. You are in my prayers.
Tears and prayers for you, dear Margaret.
Margaret- I’m praying to our Blessed Mother for you, your husband and your children.
“The Lord Giveth & The Lord Taketh Away. Blessed be the Lord’s name forever.” I saw that verse on the end of the 99 Balloons film clip & just recently burst into tears when I saw it on a movie theater sign at the end of “We Are Marshall.” That verse always makes me cry with the deep memory of the son I lost to a miscarriage.
The Lord has promised to wipe away every tear. I know that you’ll be shedding many during Mass tomorrow & I’ll pray for you.
My dear Margaret…you don’t know me…I happened upon your blog the other day. But please, be assured of my prayers for you and your family. May our Lady, the Queen of Peace, be with you all this advent. In the darkness and cold of the christmas night shines the star of bethlehem. HE is with you! God bless you!
Dear Margaret, I am so, so sorry. I’m reading this news for the first time right now, and I want you to know I will be praying. Fervently.
Just saw your sad news. so sorry for your loss. I too lost a baby only two days before Christmas. It makes the season much harder, but the joys of your other blessings will hopefully keep your spirits up. will be praying for you.
I almost called you the other day to tell you that I had been thinking of you quite often lately. Perhaps it is best that I did not. I’m sorry for the loss you and your family are enduring. May the Lord bless your faithfulness.
I’ve been away from the computer for a while. I’m so sorry to hear your news. Praying especially for you this Christmas.
Dearest Margaret:
I’ve been away since the 12th…how grieved I am for your dear family…words seem insufficient to convey my heartfelt sorrow for a lovely woman whom I’ve never met. You are in my prayers. Keep hope alive within you. This is the season of hope! As one of the “40+” crowd, I am encouraged by your generosity of spirit in the midst of grief. May God continue to bless you and your dear family. May you find comfort in the arms and heart of His own dear Mother.
Margaret, I am catching up on blog posts, and though I am late seeing this, I am so sorry! I will offer my Mass today for you, and you and your family will be in my Christmas prayers. ((hugs))
Margaret, I am catching up on blog posts, and though I am late seeing this, I am so sorry! I will offer my Mass today for you, and you and your family will be in my Christmas prayers. hugs
Margaret,
I am so sorry. I have been thinking about you and was so sad to read this news. I will offer a Mass for you.
Many of us understand your sorrow and the difficulty of resignation. His mother is the best comfort and her “Fiat” is the only answer. Blessings to you and your family in t his difficult time.